Eight things
I was tagged by rasvi so I decided I would do this meme. Most people who have known me for a while, like rasvi , fearnottheflame , andtalalkhemiyst will already know these things. For curious onlookers, read on. All you have to do if tagged is to write 8 things about yourself. I'm sure they don't have to be really personal, though some of mine are.
1. I do random IQ tests because people have a tendency to make me feel really stupid. Some people have studied things harder than I have, so when confronted with this fact, I feel like an utter moron. All of my life, people around me have told me that I'm smart, but sometimes I just feel so stupid and I really hate it. In fact, on a good day, my IQ has been tested at 133. In order to join MENSA, the high IQ society, you have to be 132, so I would just squeak my way in. But I'm afraid to because I'm terrified that all the others would treat me like dirt. Bullies exist among nerds, too. At least I understand that.
2. I'm desperate for the approval of others, so sometimes, I don't share things with them. I have some unusual views on religion, sexuality, and relationships, and I'm afraid they run outside the norm. I'm really scared that most of my friends wouldn't like me if I was forthcoming about them. I've been guilty of being a big mouth and making people uncomfortable, and I really don't care to feel like that much of an obnoxious moron again.
3. Okay, from the last two things, you're reading "paranoid", so I'll go on to something else. I'll admit it, right here. I'm not really fond of children, especially not young ones. They scream and run around and drool, if they're babies, and break things. I just can't stand it when my friend's five-year-old gets mouthy, either. A lot of the parents I've seen just don't make their kids behave and that just drives me nuts. Actually, well-behaved kids don't bother me. Despite this, one of the reasons that kids make me so uncomfortable is because I'm afraid they'll hurt themselves. So many people love kids, and it really makes me feel like some kind of unnatural monster for not liking them. I kind of like teenagers, though, which can be weird.
4. I envy people who are physically graceful. Dancers, martial artists, gymnasts, and especially ice skaters.
5. Swordfighting, especially fencing or samurai-type stuff, actually turns me on. Gives me a little thrill running right down my spine. It may have to do with the grace I mentioned in #4, but it also has to do with skill. The fact that someone has practiced that hard to be that elegant and deadly. Now, I've seen a lot of "gun v. sword" arguments on the net, and the gun side says that it's only idiots and anime nuts that think swords have more honor. I'll qualify the statement and say I think swords have more honor unless you're dueling or doing fast-draw with the guns.
6. I've kind of given up on the whole romantic thing. Even though I'd really love a real person to touch and hold and be close to. I know that I don't find myself attractive, and aside from that, I tend to be disappointed when the spark doesn't happen, which is almost always. Not meant to be, I guess.
7. The senses I favor most are actually smell and touch. It's not polite, though. I have to remind myself not to sniff things or put my hands on things. It's hard, though. I love the silky luxury of fur and the cool smoothness of glass, the planes on the face of a figurine. (Yesterday, I found myself kissing the surface of a glass ornament because it was so pretty and the glass was so light and perfect. This was in public, too, I was absolutley horrified when I realized what I'd done.) I have so many things, materially, just so I could have something I could feel and hold. My sense of smell is such that I can know something has gone bad long before anyone else, that I can pick out some notes in perfume. I do aromatherapy, and I find, generally, that the combinations I come up with are both pleasing and functional. Unfortunately, there is no way I can indulge these senses with people. Smell and touch are very intimate senses. How do you tell someone that you've imagined that they smell of lemongrass and cedar? You can't go around fucking sniffing people. Worse, there are people, certain celebrity crushes, that I've just wanted to touch, skin to skin, no real sexuality involved, just to see how it would feel. You just bloody can't do that. Even people that I know don't like it when you touch or hug them. You can't just say "you smell nice" (or hell, "you smell bad") to people, either. They think you're coming on to them or being insulting. It's a very unusual situation I find myself in.
8. Generally, I like older men. I have very odd taste in men. Recently, I've been looking at technically very pretty guys in TV shows and movies, and not really favoring them because their faces "lack character". I'm always apologizing for this. See #2, seeking approval. I realized this the other day when I practically begged forgiveness for liking David Nykl from SGA (trying to explain it was his charm and pretty blue eyes that struck me), and I said something to my cousins about Ray Toro, that was something like "I know he isn't as pretty as the others, but I like him anyway." I have to stop apologizing.
Since most of the people rasvi tagged are also on my flist, I tag horuskitty , fifthace ,
omgwtfbbqcandy,
but only if you wanna. :)
1. I do random IQ tests because people have a tendency to make me feel really stupid. Some people have studied things harder than I have, so when confronted with this fact, I feel like an utter moron. All of my life, people around me have told me that I'm smart, but sometimes I just feel so stupid and I really hate it. In fact, on a good day, my IQ has been tested at 133. In order to join MENSA, the high IQ society, you have to be 132, so I would just squeak my way in. But I'm afraid to because I'm terrified that all the others would treat me like dirt. Bullies exist among nerds, too. At least I understand that.
2. I'm desperate for the approval of others, so sometimes, I don't share things with them. I have some unusual views on religion, sexuality, and relationships, and I'm afraid they run outside the norm. I'm really scared that most of my friends wouldn't like me if I was forthcoming about them. I've been guilty of being a big mouth and making people uncomfortable, and I really don't care to feel like that much of an obnoxious moron again.
3. Okay, from the last two things, you're reading "paranoid", so I'll go on to something else. I'll admit it, right here. I'm not really fond of children, especially not young ones. They scream and run around and drool, if they're babies, and break things. I just can't stand it when my friend's five-year-old gets mouthy, either. A lot of the parents I've seen just don't make their kids behave and that just drives me nuts. Actually, well-behaved kids don't bother me. Despite this, one of the reasons that kids make me so uncomfortable is because I'm afraid they'll hurt themselves. So many people love kids, and it really makes me feel like some kind of unnatural monster for not liking them. I kind of like teenagers, though, which can be weird.
4. I envy people who are physically graceful. Dancers, martial artists, gymnasts, and especially ice skaters.
5. Swordfighting, especially fencing or samurai-type stuff, actually turns me on. Gives me a little thrill running right down my spine. It may have to do with the grace I mentioned in #4, but it also has to do with skill. The fact that someone has practiced that hard to be that elegant and deadly. Now, I've seen a lot of "gun v. sword" arguments on the net, and the gun side says that it's only idiots and anime nuts that think swords have more honor. I'll qualify the statement and say I think swords have more honor unless you're dueling or doing fast-draw with the guns.
6. I've kind of given up on the whole romantic thing. Even though I'd really love a real person to touch and hold and be close to. I know that I don't find myself attractive, and aside from that, I tend to be disappointed when the spark doesn't happen, which is almost always. Not meant to be, I guess.
7. The senses I favor most are actually smell and touch. It's not polite, though. I have to remind myself not to sniff things or put my hands on things. It's hard, though. I love the silky luxury of fur and the cool smoothness of glass, the planes on the face of a figurine. (Yesterday, I found myself kissing the surface of a glass ornament because it was so pretty and the glass was so light and perfect. This was in public, too, I was absolutley horrified when I realized what I'd done.) I have so many things, materially, just so I could have something I could feel and hold. My sense of smell is such that I can know something has gone bad long before anyone else, that I can pick out some notes in perfume. I do aromatherapy, and I find, generally, that the combinations I come up with are both pleasing and functional. Unfortunately, there is no way I can indulge these senses with people. Smell and touch are very intimate senses. How do you tell someone that you've imagined that they smell of lemongrass and cedar? You can't go around fucking sniffing people. Worse, there are people, certain celebrity crushes, that I've just wanted to touch, skin to skin, no real sexuality involved, just to see how it would feel. You just bloody can't do that. Even people that I know don't like it when you touch or hug them. You can't just say "you smell nice" (or hell, "you smell bad") to people, either. They think you're coming on to them or being insulting. It's a very unusual situation I find myself in.
8. Generally, I like older men. I have very odd taste in men. Recently, I've been looking at technically very pretty guys in TV shows and movies, and not really favoring them because their faces "lack character". I'm always apologizing for this. See #2, seeking approval. I realized this the other day when I practically begged forgiveness for liking David Nykl from SGA (trying to explain it was his charm and pretty blue eyes that struck me), and I said something to my cousins about Ray Toro, that was something like "I know he isn't as pretty as the others, but I like him anyway." I have to stop apologizing.
Since most of the people rasvi tagged are also on my flist, I tag horuskitty , fifthace ,
omgwtfbbqcandy,
but only if you wanna. :)