(no subject)
I am so completely disgusted I don't know whether to cry or scream or throw up or punch something. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been this angry in my entire life.
A 20-year friendship that started in childhood is ruined because of one liar/master manipulator turning a formerly decent man into a spineless, tactless, shameless coward who completely lacks any shred of integrity, backbone or honor.
It's so heartbreaking to watch a person you care about, a friend you considered part of your family, get treated so poorly that you're constantly embarrassed for him and put in uncomfortable situations when they're together... And then for the lying, manipulating, conniving, controlling, heartless bitch to break him to the point that he decides a decades-long friendship - one that's lasted 10 times longer than he's even known this succubus, a friendship so important to him that this friend was the best man at his recent wedding - means NOTHING, is mind-boggling.
Did I forget to mention there was no bad blood whatsoever between the two men, that they had no problems with each other, have never fought, and hugged each other, loved each other the last time they got together? Yes, I'm sure they're both feeling blindsided... But only one of them can do anything about it, and he won't. Out of something he calls "loyalty" to his new wife, he hasn't called his best man in 2 months, hasn't made one SINGLE effort to spend time together (when they used to rarely go more than a week between visits), and backed out of his friend's wedding, which has been planned for over a year and is in less than 3 months.
So, why? I wish I knew exactly why. All I know is what happened leading up to this, but that explanation is not a "reason," since reasons are inherently reasonable, and this situation is anything but reasonable.
To put it simply, the two men's wives had a fight.
It never had anything to do with the two men and it was never between them, about them or because of them. The master manipulator has absolutely no problems with the man or his friend, and the two men had no problem with each other. And since (luckily, if you can use that word in a situation such as this) the women's entire fight was online - in writing - a simple 10 minutes of reading will tell anyone who wants to know exactly what happened, at which point they can decide for themselves who is to blame. I'm not stupid enough to think anyone is completely blameless, but we can all probably agree that the blame isn't anywhere near equal. We can probably also agree it's somewhere around a 99% to 1% distribution, although depending on who you ask those percentages will be assigned to the opposite suspects. Should anyone (who doesn't already) care to know just what transpired, I'd be happy to share the e-mails and messages in their original form. The master manipulator has most likely NOT done this for her closest friends and family, considering nearly every single word she wrote was complete bullshit. She "de-friended" me and forced her poor husband to do the same, but her best friend/maid of honor, other bridesmaid, and a few other friends have not. Surely they would have if they knew what happened and agreed with her.
But the bottom line is, no matter which woman's side you take, there is and never has been any reason for one man not to support the other at his wedding, or to throw away a long, joyful friendship via text message. I could be wrong in assuming he did all of this because of her- maybe he truly is just an asshole and did this without any encouragement from his wife. In that case, they are perfect for each other. But that's not the person I thought I knew, and while I hate to feel this way about someone my husband was such good friends with, and who I hoped to be such good friends with, I prefer to consider him brainwashed or hypnotized than simply an asshole. In either case I pity him, and his family, as long as they have to live with her while she is like this. I'm sorry for the misery I've seen him go through, that he probably still goes through. I'm sorry for any children they may have together. I'm sorry for myself, having lost two friends for no good reason, and most of all I'm sorry for my husband, who has been nothing but kind, patient, understanding and honorable to us other 3, who just lost a dear friend, and who has never done anything in his entire life to deserve being put through this.