This type of thinking could do us in.
I've spent the last couple of weeks re-familiarizing myself with L5R. The question at hand, presented to me by other people, was pretty simple - "Was it really as bad as you think it was? Really?" The answer is of course no. I have far too active of an imagination and a well developed sense of bitterness to make anyone rational think it was that bad. It took me roughly three days to pick a fight on a forum over something stupid, simply because I wanted to justify to myself that yes, these were all people of inferior maturity and reasoning. Behold, I thundered from the tiny keys of my laptop, the pendulous and meaty cockslap of my reasoning.
It's a weird cycle. The more I deal with the fanbase, the cardbase, and the homebase of the game, the more I think "enh, so little has changed, but the truth was far less severe than I had convinced myself" and so I spend the time making decks. Talking to people online, trying to suss out how to organize large events and forge connections with people in other regions to make a network of players that should have already been in place. It was almost automatic, really, like putting on old, worn shoes. Meanwhile, the time I spend on L5R makes me less prone to logging into WoW, much like how I had traded out L5R time to play MMOs forever ago because hey - the fucking people, man. I needed new people. Not all of them, just too many of them that was really the same smarmy piece of shit with a thousand different faces and names. The guy sitting across the table declaring himself god-emperor of his little playgroup and thus all of creation.
And now here I am thinking, "ehh, at least they're not as bad as the WoW playerbase at large." If I get my way, I'll have the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, Austin, and San Antonio hooked together as a larger Texas circuit, coordinating evenets and communicating together. I was told about a half a year ago if I had decided to quit WoW that the guild would probably fall apart, which was a situation I wasn't too fond of. So I managed to maneuver myself into a position where I'm now far, far less central, which is a good thing. Not because I have some desire to jump ship tomorrow, but just because I've never enjoyed feeling like the only guy on the plane that can fly. The downside to this, though, is that when I decide to tell people they're fucking up or need to do something, they don't want to hear it from me. Why the fuck am I talking to them, I'm not the guy running the show, not really. Comes off as bitchy and immature, really, like I'm trying to force myself back into relevance.
I wish there was a switch. Is there a switch? The one I flipped on awhile back out of neccessity got stuck, I guess. I can choose to just not be an asshole but those wires in my brain are stuck and fused now. I've liked meeting the people up at the store and there's the familiar feeling of being the guy everyone is looking to for a cue. I just wonder how long it'll be before the novelty wears off, or will it at all? In either case, it's a pretty welcome change. Being stagnated has just never sat well with me, but now I feel like I'm in a place where I hesitate to strike out for new ground, or even recover the familiar.
So be brave.
Reshape.
Create.
Reclaim.
It's a weird cycle. The more I deal with the fanbase, the cardbase, and the homebase of the game, the more I think "enh, so little has changed, but the truth was far less severe than I had convinced myself" and so I spend the time making decks. Talking to people online, trying to suss out how to organize large events and forge connections with people in other regions to make a network of players that should have already been in place. It was almost automatic, really, like putting on old, worn shoes. Meanwhile, the time I spend on L5R makes me less prone to logging into WoW, much like how I had traded out L5R time to play MMOs forever ago because hey - the fucking people, man. I needed new people. Not all of them, just too many of them that was really the same smarmy piece of shit with a thousand different faces and names. The guy sitting across the table declaring himself god-emperor of his little playgroup and thus all of creation.
And now here I am thinking, "ehh, at least they're not as bad as the WoW playerbase at large." If I get my way, I'll have the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, Austin, and San Antonio hooked together as a larger Texas circuit, coordinating evenets and communicating together. I was told about a half a year ago if I had decided to quit WoW that the guild would probably fall apart, which was a situation I wasn't too fond of. So I managed to maneuver myself into a position where I'm now far, far less central, which is a good thing. Not because I have some desire to jump ship tomorrow, but just because I've never enjoyed feeling like the only guy on the plane that can fly. The downside to this, though, is that when I decide to tell people they're fucking up or need to do something, they don't want to hear it from me. Why the fuck am I talking to them, I'm not the guy running the show, not really. Comes off as bitchy and immature, really, like I'm trying to force myself back into relevance.
I wish there was a switch. Is there a switch? The one I flipped on awhile back out of neccessity got stuck, I guess. I can choose to just not be an asshole but those wires in my brain are stuck and fused now. I've liked meeting the people up at the store and there's the familiar feeling of being the guy everyone is looking to for a cue. I just wonder how long it'll be before the novelty wears off, or will it at all? In either case, it's a pretty welcome change. Being stagnated has just never sat well with me, but now I feel like I'm in a place where I hesitate to strike out for new ground, or even recover the familiar.
So be brave.
Reshape.
Create.
Reclaim.