Contents may be funny if taken out of context OR Quotent Quotables
So school's busy. I haven't had time to breathe so i'm writing this entry in one breath, but i think that's more because it's been so hot and humid that if i take more than one breath i'd drown. Don't know how hot memphis has been, but it can't have been this hot, and besides, y'all have air conditioning down there! I can't complain though because i do have AC in my classroom. Hopefully i'll take the time to give you the run-down of the end of the year, but to sum it up, the kids are being awful, today's the last day of classes, i have senioritis, we've got to be here until next wednesday helping the children who haven't done anything all year try and pass their exams. Just call me the miracle worker... i feel like someone should be touching my palm and saying "water" "water"... I should really look at my summer reading list huh? i've done it once, but i blocked it out of my memory so that i could pretend i don't have to do it. Can you believe it? I feel like i'm going back to high school all over again... Great Expectations, Tom Sawyer, and A Separate Peace (gosh i hated that book with a passion when mrs. stauffer made me read it in eighth grade!!!)
In the meantime while i beat basic math into the skulls of my young ones, here's a few quotes from the year to entertain yourself. Hopefully i won't sweat to death before i can write again... ENJOY!
It’s like cutting through wood
~ Brother JP
(In reference to his beef brisket)
JP: When was this movie made?
Paul: The 1970’s
JP: Ah, You can tell by the costumes
(Watching Monty Python’s Life of Bryan)
I don’t want you to look good for me, but I don’t want you to look like an asshole either.
~ Adam
You don’t have to like math, you just have to co-exist with it.
~ Devinair
James (lists every TV show and it’s exact time slot from 12:00 PM - 1:00 AM)
Keith: When do you shower?
James: During the news.
So if this is life, I’m not really impressed with the whole thing
~Clare
Clare: So what would you say to one of our students who’s gambling?
Br. Ray: I hope he wins.
I fell asleep on the train and I woke up in Africa!
~Khalid
I’m glad I’m a happy drunk. If I was a mean drunk I think a lot of college parties would have ended differently.
~Tom JVC Jersey City
Anime porn! How long has this been going on?
~Jo JVC Bronx
So, we’re supposed to let our kids watch Anime porn?
~Jay JVC Newark
I need comic relief when I’m doing chemistry. Don’t you understand?
~Clare Petroski
Carlos: Hey Mr. Kuehl. Can a homeless teacher work at this school?
Mr. Kuehl: Yeah, I guess if they’ve got an education and choose to live on the streets, they can work here.
Carlos: Oh, okay.
Carlos (whispered to John sitting next to him): Then why does he sleep in his car?
A few minutes later:
Carlos: Sleeping in your car is dangerous
Pause:
Keith: Well, that is odd. (Goes back to doing homework)
Give a monkey a piece of chalk and look what happens
~jk
I’m going to coast by on good looks for the rest of my life.
~Tim Fullham
This country as a whole is a big fat idiot.
~Adam
I'll add some more later. The bell has rung, the kids are on the run, the last afternoon of school has begun... wish me luck!
In the meantime while i beat basic math into the skulls of my young ones, here's a few quotes from the year to entertain yourself. Hopefully i won't sweat to death before i can write again... ENJOY!
It’s like cutting through wood
~ Brother JP
(In reference to his beef brisket)
JP: When was this movie made?
Paul: The 1970’s
JP: Ah, You can tell by the costumes
(Watching Monty Python’s Life of Bryan)
I don’t want you to look good for me, but I don’t want you to look like an asshole either.
~ Adam
You don’t have to like math, you just have to co-exist with it.
~ Devinair
James (lists every TV show and it’s exact time slot from 12:00 PM - 1:00 AM)
Keith: When do you shower?
James: During the news.
So if this is life, I’m not really impressed with the whole thing
~Clare
Clare: So what would you say to one of our students who’s gambling?
Br. Ray: I hope he wins.
I fell asleep on the train and I woke up in Africa!
~Khalid
I’m glad I’m a happy drunk. If I was a mean drunk I think a lot of college parties would have ended differently.
~Tom JVC Jersey City
Anime porn! How long has this been going on?
~Jo JVC Bronx
So, we’re supposed to let our kids watch Anime porn?
~Jay JVC Newark
I need comic relief when I’m doing chemistry. Don’t you understand?
~Clare Petroski
Carlos: Hey Mr. Kuehl. Can a homeless teacher work at this school?
Mr. Kuehl: Yeah, I guess if they’ve got an education and choose to live on the streets, they can work here.
Carlos: Oh, okay.
Carlos (whispered to John sitting next to him): Then why does he sleep in his car?
A few minutes later:
Carlos: Sleeping in your car is dangerous
Pause:
Keith: Well, that is odd. (Goes back to doing homework)
Give a monkey a piece of chalk and look what happens
~jk
I’m going to coast by on good looks for the rest of my life.
~Tim Fullham
This country as a whole is a big fat idiot.
~Adam
I'll add some more later. The bell has rung, the kids are on the run, the last afternoon of school has begun... wish me luck!