Nine Hundred and Seventy..
That's right, 970 days since I started treatment for my eating disorder.
I know these things are supposed to take time, but come on, I really thought I'd have it sorted by now.
It's difficult to remind myself that it's okay when life works out differently to my plans, and it's okay to fail at some things, because no one is perfect. I had a complete and utter breakdown at dinner yesterday, the likes of which I haven't seen in a year. It resulted in sobbing, fingernail indents on my wrists and me refusing to "eat" anything but ice until I was bribed with iced lemon tea. Progress, where are you? Sometimes it feels like this is something I'm going to carry around with me for the rest of my life.
I know these things are supposed to take time, but come on, I really thought I'd have it sorted by now.
It's difficult to remind myself that it's okay when life works out differently to my plans, and it's okay to fail at some things, because no one is perfect. I had a complete and utter breakdown at dinner yesterday, the likes of which I haven't seen in a year. It resulted in sobbing, fingernail indents on my wrists and me refusing to "eat" anything but ice until I was bribed with iced lemon tea. Progress, where are you? Sometimes it feels like this is something I'm going to carry around with me for the rest of my life.