MES PREMIERES. Pt.2. Chapter Two.
Title : Mes premières.
Pairing : Jongkey. implied!Onny (?)
Genre : AU. Romance.
Rating : PG-13 for now.
Disclaim : Jjong belongs to Key and Bummie belongs to Jonghyun.
Summary : Jonghyun may be a greek god. That doesn't means he is fearless of what life can bring to him. And lets face it, life plus Kim Kibum may be a little over his usual phobia.
A/N : Sorry for the long waiting you guys ... plus you might be disappointed ? orz .
Part One. || One.
Two.
3310 words.
« We should break up. »
It has been so long. How long ? Three months.
Jonghyun had just been coming back home from being with his friends. They were to a bar to celebrate the end of the musical. After graduating, he had been working here and there. Composing a song for this one, singing here, teaching piano there, he had even been a music producer for musicals like today. It was the end of his contract and the musical. Now he was jobless. Again.
Today was the day Key was coming back home from his business trip in Japan. But he had forgot that. He wanted to drink his soul out and don’t think at all. When he entered the apartment, it was all dark. Even when he tried to switch the lights on.
“Dang. I forgot to pay the electricity bill again. Aish, Key will kill me.”
He was a good drinker, so even with all he had drank he was not that wasted. He was, but he was still conscious of what was happening around him. He saw a faint light flickering from under the bathroom door. He went and opened it,
“Key ?” he called, but got no answer. In all his numbness, he searched and saw a figure sitting in the corner of the bathroom.
“Kibummie's that you ?” he approached. He bent down, difficultly if you would ask, and saw Kibum hugging his legs. He thought he saw that the other’s eyes, behind the knees, red and swollen. But he was drunk, and there was merely light in the room so he shrugged it off.
“Kibum are you ok ?”
“We should break up.” He only heard a faint whisper.
“I know I forgot to pay the electricity bill again but I was busy, I promise I’ll go pay it tomorrow. Don’t worry let’s just go sleeping.”
“We should break up.”
“We have to go sleeping now, I have a hell of an headache. I think I can use some medicine.”
“Jonghyun.”
“Yes. What ?”
“Come here.” He neared his ear next his boyfriend’s lips.
“We. should. break up.”
“…” he didn’t say a thing. He thought he had heard wrong. He was drunk after all, and he had an headache, and that unreadable expression on the other’s face … there was no light so he couldn’t see if his boyfriend was serious or not, right ? That just couldn’t be. Right ..?
“Bummie, what are you saying ? You must be tired of your flight. Let’s go sleeping for today okay ? We will talk about that tomorrow. That headache is killing me.” He said standing up. “You coming ?”
“Jonghyun, I am serious.”
“Yes, I am serious too. We’ll talk about it tomorrow okay ? Just, not now. I can’t deal with anything serious now okay ? Please.”
“Jonghyun, listen to me, we shou-”
“I heard you, but I am drunk. I don’t know what got into you that you are saying something insane like that. But I don’t want to do it. And I am drunk. And I have a headache. And you are tired too so let’s just go to bed okay.”
“I’m serious.”
“Okay.” he said rolling his eyes and shaking his head, “I’ll be waiting for you on the bed okay ? I need to lay down like right now. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” And with that he had left the bathroom. Striping from his clothes all the way to the bed, he jumped on the bed and fell asleep almost instantly.
Three months later he still had nightmares about it. Three months later he still couldn't sleep properly. Three months later he still stayed all day long, head on his knees, face to face with that letter. Like it would just magicaly shift to an Kibum.
The day after that weird night, he woke up lazily.
He first search with his hand, eyes still closed, for Kibum's presence next to him on the bed. Found none.
He got up with his head still pounding, hoping Kibum would have made him one of his famous hangover tea. Count on his one and only princess to know how to make things like that. And ones that actualy worked.
In the bedroom ? No one. In the living room ? No one. Hidden behing the american counter that seperated the living room from the kitchen ? No one. Ah. Of course! The bathroom.
... No one.
"Where did Bummie go ?"
He made two rounds ago. Thinking he must have searched wrong. After all his head was pounding so much that he didn't want to call the other's name, so he must have been somewhere in the flat still. He added closets, behind doors, under tables and even fridge to the spots where he should search.
He was about to start his third round when something caught his eye. A letter. On the american counter. How did he not see it before ?
How he hope he really did not see it. Hoped that letter would have never existed. Hoped he was a better man so that he wouldn't look like the trash he ressembled right now. 'How lame Kim Jonghyun.'
Three months.
Months were Jonghyun had been nothing but a mess. Yes. There were really no better words. A complete mess.
He barely ate. Some of the food Kibum had left him was still there. The other portion was from those two times he went outside. He had too. He really could not cook and had to buy frozen pre-prepared food.
He barely took baths. The times he tried, he was so lost in his toughts - better called the abyssal depht that was his mind - , that he almost drown himself in the soaped water. Don't think about shaving, same. So lost he only managed to cut himself so bad it left a scar. Small, but still it was a scar. And why was he even shaving his eyebrows any way !?
In those three months, except from the two times he went out, he saw no living soul. No nobody.
He did not pay his phone bill, nor internet one.Thus no one could contact him either. He did not open the door when the bell would ring, or someone would bang on the door for that matter. There was no electricity, for he did not pay the bill either after it got cut again. Apparently Bummie had paid the bill before leaving. How is it that there was still water running in the flat by this time ?
He could not blame Kibum. Really. He could not.
The younger had every reasons to leave him. All the things in that letter were accurate.
He had been doing only part time jobs. He always forgot to pay the bills. Forgot to give Kibum really really important job-related messages. As soon as Key was back from his job trips, it wouldn't be two days before they were arguing. Now thinking of it, maybe the younger had been inventing some of his 'job trips' to avoid all of this.
But how could he blame him ? When all he would hear from Jonghyun were questions and questions to know if he had cheat on him.
When Kibum was away, he no more called as he used to at the beginning. No asking if he landed well, no more I miss you alreadys. He would even forget to go pick the younger at the airport.
Even if after the fights he would always be the one coming back, tail between legs, begging for pardon. They would have good make up sex. Then Kibum would be gone again, and the cycle would just start all over. Again. Even if the last time they had been at it he must admit, it was the best sex of all his life.
Other than that there were other things.
Like how Kibum wanted children or at least even one child. One of the main reasons they would fight was that he, did not want to adopt. Nor any other form that would mean they had to raise a child for that matter. He knew Kibum would at one point want to get married, even if Jonghyun had been the only one he had dated.
"I am happy to have found you, 'cause you are my first and will be my last" .
That melted his heart. And it must have been some kind of hint too. A hint Jonghyun saw, and unsaw right away with a little smile. That was an commitment he just could not make.
Commitment.
The worst thing he could come accross. He had seen too much people amoung his family members that commitment had destroyed. Just to say examples related to what Bummie wanted.
One of his uncles had been over in love with his wife, just to be shocked when two months after the wedding, said woman had rubbed all his money and disapeared with it. We're talking about real fortune here, not some mere savings. The man had been depressed for a year, tried to commit suicide more than once, and was currently in a asylum because he now had hallucinations. He was living in a world where that woman and him were still married and living happily ever after.
One of his distant cousin had gave birth. She was waiting for her pregnancy for such a long time. And the baby just had to be born a very sick child. Until know he was still more than 70% disabled. And even with all the love he could see his aunt had for the child, he could also see the tiredness. The now eternal sadness that resided in her eyes. She could not even have any of the other children she wanted so much, no time to take care of them.
And that were just tiny examples. But he had grown to know that big commitment just could destroy you. Maybe it was just a curse on his family. But no, he would not take the risk. He was no coward but eh, better safe than sorry.
Maybe it just happened that he knew of people with bad luck or something. But that was enough for him to be phobic. This commitment phobia had grown with him. And even if others did not see it, it was still there. But it was not as bad as to disturb his everyday life. Just the 'very important' commtiments would freak him out. Things that would affect his future life or greatly change it.
It had been hard to come live with Kibum, but he braced himself 'cause one, there was no other choice. Renting a flat for himself was a bigger commitment. Second he must admit he liked the idea of living with Kibum so much that it made it easier.
He hadn't talk to anyone about it. And by anyone, it really meant anyone. He had managed to live up to now with it, and no one had noticed. So why putting himself in the spotlight, and being seen as a weirdo ? No use. Even if now all that was happening to him was telling him he was a fool to let that direct his life.
He didn't knew what to do anymore. Or maybe he did ?
Right now, he was just plain confused. Well, he had been for at least two months.
The questions was not even to be brought up. There was no doubt there. He loved Bummie. But his one and only was one to not be afraid of anything. And that included taking crazy risks that could cause everything he had worked for to shatter. He was no were near afraid of any kind of commitment if he judged it valuable.
And that said, they just weren't meant to be together. End of story.
...
But he still lov- ... no.
Yes.
He still did, does and would always love his Kim Kibum. But right now, that didn't weight more than a grain of rice. Useless.
Knock Knock Knock.
Aish. Didn't they get it already !? He would Not, open the damn door. Why not give up on him and let him die in his own- Wait.
Wait wait wait.
That's ... That's the sound of keys. That is absolutely the sound of the door being opened. Waaaaaait! If that was the sound of keys, and the door opening, that meant ...
"Bummie, 's that yo- ..."
"Good morning love."
"..."
"..."
"Mum !?!!??"
"Jonghyunnie samchun~"
"Aaack! Byulhee-ah, you're-crush-ing-me!"
"Bleeeh, samchun stinks blakh blakh blakh." The young girl said pinching her nose, big pout and shaking her head at her uncle.
Sigh. What are they doing here ? And why did mum bring Byulhee here ? Pfft. Sigh sigh. And sigh again.
It was not that he didn't like his little niece. Just. He really didn't want any one - other that who you know - near him right now. And having a "four almost five years old Jonghyunnie samchun! " near him was nowhere near the peace he bathed in for so long.
Not to mention that he was in for some good ol' lecture by his mother now. He folded the letter and burried it in one of his pockets. Good thing now that he had stayed with his clothes, not even bothering to sleep as he used to. He wrapped himself deeper in Kibum's duvet and settled on the couch. While his mother was going here and there, complaining about this and that.
"God Kim Jonghyun did I raised you like this ?" she said, opening the curtains wide. Aaah, so it was daytime again. So longtime not see the sun, Jonghyun's eyes wettted instantly.
"Do you have no smell sense anymore ? This most be rotten for a good month already. And did the company just catapulted all the neighborhood's trash in here ? What is all this ? Oh my godness are those maggots ?" She said looking in the kitchen area. "Kibum would so beat you to death seeing his house in this state."
Jonghyun wrinkled his nose at the mention of the name.
"Yeah, but he's not here so just don't ... Don't."
His mother turned sharply, and looked at him, expression unreadable. Those sharp eyes were like trainees of Almeoni's ones. Kibum's Almeoni.
"What ?"
She was about to answer when,
"Almeoniniii, why is Jonghyunnie samchun like the man on the streets ?"
"Go ask him baby." The woman answered, eyeing Jonghyun like he was one of the boxes she picked up with two fingers a moment ago and tossed in the dustbin, same disgut plastered on her face.
"Don-nonie sab-un, bai do you nook nike the ban bom the striss ?"
"Do I stink so much Byulhee-ah ?"
"Deh, bery bery mosh."
"Should I hug you so that you'll smell like me ?"
"Andaaaaae~ , ah dun banna sbell nike nyou~" the little girl said, running away form Jonghyun's extended arms, fingers still pinching her nose.
"Really Jonghyun-ah, please take a bath. You smell like you've been living in the sewages this whole time. Did you even touched water in a month !? Don't answer that." she stoped with her hand an answer he was not going to give, "I'm sure you don't even remember the colour of the bath tub."
"..."
"Just go. Don't make me throw you in there."
Wah! Daebak. The almighty Kim family's stare. Why does his mother has it ? That's so~ not fair ! *pout* . He almost threw a tantrum just there, wasn't for the stare giving him the creeps a little.
"Ah Ah ... araso, going already."
"And stay there rubbing for at least two hours!"
He was still taking his bath when he heard - more like sensed - footsteps behind the tub's curtain.
"Umma ?"
"Naaaah, it's meee~ " the shining-cutie that was Byulhee sing-sang.
"Oooh, is that the brightest Lee Byul of the world ?"
"Deh samchuuuuun~ " the little girl replied while giggling, she really liked her samchun.
"Do you need something baby ?"
"Naaaah~ "
He continued his sleeping in the warm water, still sensing the girl standing behind the curtain.
"Samchun ?"
"Deh Byulhee-ah ?"
"Are you well well ?"
Oh, did even the little Byulhee sensed that he was being weird ? Well. It most have been odd for her seeing this place like this. It was always neat like ready for an iKea magazine photoshoot so it must have been quite a shock if you look well. Not to mention his smell =_= .
"Deh baby-Byul."
"Ohn."
"..."
"Samchun."
"Sigh. Neh ?"
"Do you want me to rub your back ?"
"Deh ?" he asked a little startled. He didn't expect that.
"I do that for Appa and Umma when sometimes when they have the strecth. I am really really skilled. It's God that gave it to me. Appa said I have the gift of a phyiiotharapist."
"Omo, is that so ?" He said chuckling at the girl's cuteness. She was really trying to convince him, using difficult words and all. " A physiotherapist ?"
"Deh. When they have the stretch like samchun."
"Lol, do I have 'the stress' ?"
"Deh samchun. You didn't know ? You are lazy lazy, and you have the pandabear eyes, and you stay looooooong time in the water and you sleep."
"Hmm. Araso, you can rub my back but only if you are really really really skilled."
"Deh. It's God that gave it to me samchun so it's very very good." the girl said.
He pushed the curtain just in time to see her put down one fo the teddybears Key always kept here for her to play with when she came. She sat it, gave some instructions before heading towards her beloved samchun. He gave her the wetted washcloth, facing her with his back.
"Aigoo, uri Byulhee is very skilled. Omo. Are you sure you didn't learn it in a special school ?"
"Deh deh deh samchun. Appa said it's God that gave it to me."
"That's because uri Byul is a very good and obediant child."
"Deh." She said, smiling at the compliment.
She rubbed his back with all the strength she could pull, and at the same time tried not to 'hurt' her samchun.
"Samchun is no more stinking now."
"Aww, is that so ?"
"Deh. Now you smell like Key Umma."
"..."
Yes. He used Key's leftover shampoo so it was that, that the girl smelt. The rare times that he had come to the bathroom - after he abandonned the idea of taking baths - was to snif said shampoo. That were the times when he missed Key the most.
There was something little Byulhee wanted to ask to her samchun since a long time. But since she didn't see him for so long, she thought it was the good time now. Plus she was rubbing the 'stretch' out so it was okay right ?
"Jonghyunnnie samchun ?"
"Deh baby-Byul ?"
"Why is Key Umma now living with my other Almeonini ?"
"..."
"Samchun ?" she asked, stoping her rubbing circles a bit.
"Deh ?" He took a deep breath ? Of course the little girl would ask. She knew that Key often was overseas for work, since he brought her gifts everytime. But she most have noticed. Being raised by Jinki and Sunny, and being their child, of course she would have so much brains. "How do you know he lives there ?"
He also knew Key lived there. "Don't search for me. I'll be at my mum's or Almeoni's house. But I don't want you to come. There really is no use. So just make your life and forget we ever existed." . Yes, he knew. But what to do ?
"I went there with Almeonini because we missed Key Umma."
Of course! The keys, his mother must have took them there.
"I think Key Umma has the same as you. He has the stretch too. And his stretch is bad bad than samchun stretch."
"Why is it 'bad bad' Byulhee-ah ?"
"Key Umma is big now."
"Big ?"
"Yes, big. I touched it when he hugged me."
"Wait, what big ? Key would never gain weight no matter what." He said the last part more for himself than for the girl to hear.
"I'm not laying samchun, he is big in his -"
"BYULHEE!"
"Aaack!" the girl and her young uncle yelped at once. Those cute people.
"Umma ! Why are you yelling like that ? You scared us."
His mother has barged in the bathroom. She had been listening to what the two were saying since the time the girl entered said room.
"Uri Byulhee, Almeoni has ice cream ready for you. Remember the one we bought earlier to eat with samchun ? It's waiting for you on the table. You have to let samchun get out so he can eat some too neh !?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeh~ akscreaaaaaaam~ ! Almeonini Jjang jjang jjang~." the girl jumped in ecstasy. Completely forgetting what she was doing, and throwing the washcloth that landed on Jonghyun's head. "Samchun hurry hurry so you will have some. Or else we will eat.it.all~ " she sing-sang, whil picking her teddy bear from under the sink where she had let it to be protected.
"Araseooo~" He replied.
"Aigoo, I can't see you well but you obviously have not grown an inch. Pfft, takes from his father ! Hurry and get out of there. We have to speak." She said the last part looking straight in his eyes as he had turned to look at her.
He almost replied to her attack at his height, but the look she gave her just after silenced his plea to a huge pout. For sure he had to expect this, The lecture was finaly coming after all.
||| Omaigad guys I'm.dy.ing ! Seriously, I'm like wanting to rip all the her on my head. The freaking word or open office writing thingy is pure bullshit. All the format I do when I write, italics or even jumping lines, it all vanishes when I copy-paste to LJ. And my former writing thingy, I have to pay 99€ to have it. I'm crying, I swear. Took me just 45min to edit this. And it's only 3000~ ish. Now skin is 7500+ . I'm gonna die. Augh. Going to update now. Hvave questions, ask me.
Byul is Onny's child remember ? So Hyun's mother is like her grandmother too, and she call's Kibum's grandmother Almeoni too. More like 'Almeonini' but yes. And Hyun is her uncle, your father's cousin is you uncle too, he's like a brother. I see it like that, I don't know if it's public knowledge lol. Okay going now. Two more fics to update. Tell me if you likey~
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