FanFic: With This Spoon.
Title: With This Spoon.
Rating: PG-13ish.
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Warning: References to S2!
Summary: Ianto get's a little drunk.
Disclaimer: Not Mine, I don't own them!
Author's Notes: This was written after a rather odd MSN conversation between myself,
dancy_dreamerand
_stolendreams_. It is total crack!fic, I kid you all not. Again has been xposted to a couple of places and has some Welsh in it. Thanks to
welshhelen for the welsh.
Beta:
_stolendreams_(Who only just managed to get this Beta'd while laughing)
Welsh Translations
Dim dwylo crwydredig, Capten No wandering hands, Captain.
Na'dw No
With This Spoon!
He was beginning to wonder what exactly had possessed him to drink so much. Although, it did seem to make things a whole lot shinier than usual.
He was currently sat at a table by himself, a spoon being twirled between his fingers. It was such a simple piece of cutlery, yet it was glinting brightly under the light.
“Ianto! Hey Ianto!” called an overly loud voice.
Turning his head, he saw a red faced Gwen bounding over to him. He figured she’d drunk as much, if not more than he had. Ah, now he remembered why he was sitting there playing with a spoon. It was Gwen’s engagement party and he’d been dragged along by Jack and Owen.
“Gwen, you sup’ose to be dancing,” said Ianto, stuffing the silver spoon in a pocket.
“I am, come on!”
Before he had chance to reply he was pulled out of his seat and on to the dance floor. Normally he’d be totally against doing anything like this. But with the alcohol running through his veins, he felt pretty confident.
Soon all the dancing around started to make him dizzy. After one particular move, he found himself being propelled backwards, smacking right into Jack.
Laughing, he mumbled, “Sorry, sir.”
Before trying to get back up, unfortunately he really wasn’t going to be standing on his own again that evening. Luckily, Jack gave him a helping hand although he did end up gripping on to the Captain’s arm a bit tightly. He closed his eyes as the world rightened it’s self and he felt ill.
“I think you’ve had enough, come on,” said Jack, leading the drunk man out of the building.
“What ‘bout Gwen?” asked Ianto.
He kept stumbling over his own feet every other step and ended up half leaning on Jack just to keep himself upright.
“What about her?”
“Sup’ose to be dancin’,” answered Ianto, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“I think you’ve both done enough dancing for tonight. Rhys will look after her,” explained Jack.
Letting out a sigh he just sort of half nodded, half stumbled in reply. He was very happy that it was Jack escorting him home; he didn’t think Owen would have been as soft to hold on to. Besides he knew Owen was just as drunk as he was. He couldn’t help giggling at that, Owen drunk with Tosh escorting him home.
“What’s so funny?”
“Owen.”
“Owen?”
“Being overly drunk,” replied Ianto, matter-of-factly.
“Okay then,” said Jack, pulling Ianto across the road. “Next time we go out you aren’t allowed to drink.”
“Anything you say Jack,” mumbled Ianto.
Closing his eyes he let Jack lead him through the streets. The sounds around him seemed magnified, making him realize just how noisy Cardiff was at night. He leant his head on Jack’s shoulder rubbing his cheek against the coarse material of the coat.
It felt nice to his hot face and it stopped the dizzy feeling as well. Somewhere in the back of his mind he always knew Jack could have a calming effect on him.
Finally he felt himself stop walking; opening his eyes he was surprised to find himself stood in his bedroom.
“What?” Ianto asked confused.
“I brought you home, figured you’d sleep the rest off,” explained Jack.
“With you?”
He was made to sit down on the edge of the bed, where he then leant back, and his hands rested on his stomach. He could feel the outline of the spoon he’d slipped into his pocket earlier.
“With me, what?” asked Jack.
“Sleep, of course.”
“Of course,” whispered Jack. “If you want me to?”
“Just sleep, Captain none of your usual ants.”
Ianto frowned, that sounded right he was sure it was, but it was somehow wrong as well. He tried saying the word again but still it came out the same.
“Excuse me?”
“No wandering hands, Captain!”
Okay so now his head hurt, he closed his eyes hoping that Jack would get the message. He was still certain that he was making sense.
“Right of course, Ianto,” agreed Jack, shaking his head. “No wandering hands, I’ll make sure they don’t wander at all then.”
“Good, Captain,” muttered Ianto.
He must have dozed off for a second because the next thing he knew there was a rather insistent tugging on his feet. Opening his eyes he stared blearily at the ceiling when he felt the tugging again.
Lifting his head up he caught sight of dark hair crouched down near his feet. Reaching forwards he smacked the person on the head, not realizing that he still had hold of the spoon. Till he brought his hand away and it shined brightly where the light caught it.
“What the? Ianto! What was that for?” cursed Jack, holding his head.
“Dim dwylo crwydredig, Capten!” exclaimed Ianto.
“What?”
“Dim dwylo crwydredig, Capten!” repeated Ianto.
He was aiming for another smack to Jack’s head with the spoon when it was taken off him. He gaped at Jack, like he’d just been told he wasn’t allowed to have any more coffee.
“You can have this back tomorrow,” said Jack stuffing it inside his pockets. “Now, you gonna behave?”
“Na'dw!”
“No need to guess what your answer is. Just try to sleep, Yan.”
Ianto just glared at Jack, he couldn’t believe the man had taken his spoon. That was his sparkly spoon and Jack didn’t have any right taking it off him.
He turned onto his side, completely prepared to ignore Jack. He was gonna wait till Jack had fallen to sleep, before trying to get his spoon back. That was if he didn’t fall asleep first…
***
It was light, way too light, groaning he opened his eyes only to shut them again. Oh god. That one thought had him coming awake completely.
But along with waking came the nausea and headache. He was never going to drink again. Not ever. From now on he was sticking strictly to coffee. The thought of coffee had his stomach turning over and he made a dash for the toilet.
After being sick he flushed the chain and leant against the bath, taking deep breaths to calm his rather weak stomach. That was when he noticed that he had one shoe on and one off. He tried to think who he’d come home with, but he couldn’t seem to remember, it was someone, he knew that much.
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, he started to stand when he heard a distinct American voice. Jack! Oh so that was who he’d brought home, he supposed it could have been worse.
He headed out of the bathroom, through his bedroom and out into the living room. At first he thought Jack was talking to himself until he saw a phone slide back into place.
“What…what are you doing?” asked Ianto, his voice sounding rough.
“Ah, you’re awake. How you feeling?”
“Okay. I thought you would have left by now.”
“Nah, wanted to make sure you were okay. No urges to hit me with a spoon?”
“What?”
For a split second he thought Jack had totally lost the plot, until he noticed the completely serious look on the Captains face. Oh god.
“Last night you decided that I’d make good target practise. You hit me with a spoon,” explained Jack, rubbing the sore spot on his head to emphasise his point.
Groaning again, he sat down and buried his face in his hands. Oh god, I’m so sacked, thought Ianto.
“Hey, it’s not that bad,” said Jack.
He felt the sofa dip as Jack sat next to him. This was probably worse than any other kind of humiliation he could think of at that moment.
“Did I hurt you?” asked Ianto, looking out from behind his hands.
“No you didn’t. Although, if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure Gwen is suffering just as much as you this morning.”
“Why did I hit her with a spoon as well?”
The way Jack laughed made him smile even if the volume did make his head hurt. Sighing, he leant back into his seat, hoping that the spoon hitting was as bad as it got last night. He didn’t think he could take hearing how much more of an idiot he’d made himself look like.
“No. Although you looked like you were enjoying yourself on the dance floor.”
“Tell me I didn’t?”
“You did, plus there’s video footage if you don’t believe me.”
“That’s it, if anyone shows that video to anyone I’ll Retcon them,” said Ianto.
Laughing Jack said, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure the public never see it.”
“You’re just an all round good guy aren’t you?” snarked Ianto, holding his own head now.
“Of course. Now you, Mr Jones, are to take the rest of the day off, rest and stay away from spoons. We don’t need any more accidents.”
“Yes Captain, of course.”
Rating: PG-13ish.
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Warning: References to S2!
Summary: Ianto get's a little drunk.
Disclaimer: Not Mine, I don't own them!
Author's Notes: This was written after a rather odd MSN conversation between myself,
dancy_dreamerand
_stolendreams_. It is total crack!fic, I kid you all not. Again has been xposted to a couple of places and has some Welsh in it. Thanks to
welshhelen for the welsh.
Beta:
_stolendreams_(Who only just managed to get this Beta'd while laughing)
Welsh Translations
Dim dwylo crwydredig, Capten No wandering hands, Captain.
Na'dw No
With This Spoon!
He was beginning to wonder what exactly had possessed him to drink so much. Although, it did seem to make things a whole lot shinier than usual.
He was currently sat at a table by himself, a spoon being twirled between his fingers. It was such a simple piece of cutlery, yet it was glinting brightly under the light.
“Ianto! Hey Ianto!” called an overly loud voice.
Turning his head, he saw a red faced Gwen bounding over to him. He figured she’d drunk as much, if not more than he had. Ah, now he remembered why he was sitting there playing with a spoon. It was Gwen’s engagement party and he’d been dragged along by Jack and Owen.
“Gwen, you sup’ose to be dancing,” said Ianto, stuffing the silver spoon in a pocket.
“I am, come on!”
Before he had chance to reply he was pulled out of his seat and on to the dance floor. Normally he’d be totally against doing anything like this. But with the alcohol running through his veins, he felt pretty confident.
Soon all the dancing around started to make him dizzy. After one particular move, he found himself being propelled backwards, smacking right into Jack.
Laughing, he mumbled, “Sorry, sir.”
Before trying to get back up, unfortunately he really wasn’t going to be standing on his own again that evening. Luckily, Jack gave him a helping hand although he did end up gripping on to the Captain’s arm a bit tightly. He closed his eyes as the world rightened it’s self and he felt ill.
“I think you’ve had enough, come on,” said Jack, leading the drunk man out of the building.
“What ‘bout Gwen?” asked Ianto.
He kept stumbling over his own feet every other step and ended up half leaning on Jack just to keep himself upright.
“What about her?”
“Sup’ose to be dancin’,” answered Ianto, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“I think you’ve both done enough dancing for tonight. Rhys will look after her,” explained Jack.
Letting out a sigh he just sort of half nodded, half stumbled in reply. He was very happy that it was Jack escorting him home; he didn’t think Owen would have been as soft to hold on to. Besides he knew Owen was just as drunk as he was. He couldn’t help giggling at that, Owen drunk with Tosh escorting him home.
“What’s so funny?”
“Owen.”
“Owen?”
“Being overly drunk,” replied Ianto, matter-of-factly.
“Okay then,” said Jack, pulling Ianto across the road. “Next time we go out you aren’t allowed to drink.”
“Anything you say Jack,” mumbled Ianto.
Closing his eyes he let Jack lead him through the streets. The sounds around him seemed magnified, making him realize just how noisy Cardiff was at night. He leant his head on Jack’s shoulder rubbing his cheek against the coarse material of the coat.
It felt nice to his hot face and it stopped the dizzy feeling as well. Somewhere in the back of his mind he always knew Jack could have a calming effect on him.
Finally he felt himself stop walking; opening his eyes he was surprised to find himself stood in his bedroom.
“What?” Ianto asked confused.
“I brought you home, figured you’d sleep the rest off,” explained Jack.
“With you?”
He was made to sit down on the edge of the bed, where he then leant back, and his hands rested on his stomach. He could feel the outline of the spoon he’d slipped into his pocket earlier.
“With me, what?” asked Jack.
“Sleep, of course.”
“Of course,” whispered Jack. “If you want me to?”
“Just sleep, Captain none of your usual ants.”
Ianto frowned, that sounded right he was sure it was, but it was somehow wrong as well. He tried saying the word again but still it came out the same.
“Excuse me?”
“No wandering hands, Captain!”
Okay so now his head hurt, he closed his eyes hoping that Jack would get the message. He was still certain that he was making sense.
“Right of course, Ianto,” agreed Jack, shaking his head. “No wandering hands, I’ll make sure they don’t wander at all then.”
“Good, Captain,” muttered Ianto.
He must have dozed off for a second because the next thing he knew there was a rather insistent tugging on his feet. Opening his eyes he stared blearily at the ceiling when he felt the tugging again.
Lifting his head up he caught sight of dark hair crouched down near his feet. Reaching forwards he smacked the person on the head, not realizing that he still had hold of the spoon. Till he brought his hand away and it shined brightly where the light caught it.
“What the? Ianto! What was that for?” cursed Jack, holding his head.
“Dim dwylo crwydredig, Capten!” exclaimed Ianto.
“What?”
“Dim dwylo crwydredig, Capten!” repeated Ianto.
He was aiming for another smack to Jack’s head with the spoon when it was taken off him. He gaped at Jack, like he’d just been told he wasn’t allowed to have any more coffee.
“You can have this back tomorrow,” said Jack stuffing it inside his pockets. “Now, you gonna behave?”
“Na'dw!”
“No need to guess what your answer is. Just try to sleep, Yan.”
Ianto just glared at Jack, he couldn’t believe the man had taken his spoon. That was his sparkly spoon and Jack didn’t have any right taking it off him.
He turned onto his side, completely prepared to ignore Jack. He was gonna wait till Jack had fallen to sleep, before trying to get his spoon back. That was if he didn’t fall asleep first…
***
It was light, way too light, groaning he opened his eyes only to shut them again. Oh god. That one thought had him coming awake completely.
But along with waking came the nausea and headache. He was never going to drink again. Not ever. From now on he was sticking strictly to coffee. The thought of coffee had his stomach turning over and he made a dash for the toilet.
After being sick he flushed the chain and leant against the bath, taking deep breaths to calm his rather weak stomach. That was when he noticed that he had one shoe on and one off. He tried to think who he’d come home with, but he couldn’t seem to remember, it was someone, he knew that much.
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, he started to stand when he heard a distinct American voice. Jack! Oh so that was who he’d brought home, he supposed it could have been worse.
He headed out of the bathroom, through his bedroom and out into the living room. At first he thought Jack was talking to himself until he saw a phone slide back into place.
“What…what are you doing?” asked Ianto, his voice sounding rough.
“Ah, you’re awake. How you feeling?”
“Okay. I thought you would have left by now.”
“Nah, wanted to make sure you were okay. No urges to hit me with a spoon?”
“What?”
For a split second he thought Jack had totally lost the plot, until he noticed the completely serious look on the Captains face. Oh god.
“Last night you decided that I’d make good target practise. You hit me with a spoon,” explained Jack, rubbing the sore spot on his head to emphasise his point.
Groaning again, he sat down and buried his face in his hands. Oh god, I’m so sacked, thought Ianto.
“Hey, it’s not that bad,” said Jack.
He felt the sofa dip as Jack sat next to him. This was probably worse than any other kind of humiliation he could think of at that moment.
“Did I hurt you?” asked Ianto, looking out from behind his hands.
“No you didn’t. Although, if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure Gwen is suffering just as much as you this morning.”
“Why did I hit her with a spoon as well?”
The way Jack laughed made him smile even if the volume did make his head hurt. Sighing, he leant back into his seat, hoping that the spoon hitting was as bad as it got last night. He didn’t think he could take hearing how much more of an idiot he’d made himself look like.
“No. Although you looked like you were enjoying yourself on the dance floor.”
“Tell me I didn’t?”
“You did, plus there’s video footage if you don’t believe me.”
“That’s it, if anyone shows that video to anyone I’ll Retcon them,” said Ianto.
Laughing Jack said, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure the public never see it.”
“You’re just an all round good guy aren’t you?” snarked Ianto, holding his own head now.
“Of course. Now you, Mr Jones, are to take the rest of the day off, rest and stay away from spoons. We don’t need any more accidents.”
“Yes Captain, of course.”