Absolution

[jossiebabyahh]

absolution

Comments

[raynbowzebra]

Ok two general mistakes all writers tend to make at the star of their art form

gyugafgyua

[jossiebabyahh]

I actually wrote this story about a year ago.
It's a short story or one shot as i like to call it. No, shes not a foreigner in the story and to me it doesn't really matter if she is but i guess to the readers it does.

When i wrote this i wasnt going for a whole fanfic plot and all. i wanted to write something uncommon to society. to me this is pretty uncommon. Jaejoong is korean and shes mixed. i think race is not a big factor here. whats a big factor is that they were both humans with simple human emotions and i wanted to capture that.

i know is not the best of writing and im not the best writer but i try and i guess thats what matters the most.

thank you very much for reading my story and i hope you liked it!!!!!!!!

i love criticism even though it hurts me in the end. hehehehehe

what grade would you give this story?

Re: gyugafgyua

[raynbowzebra]

B+

Don't be hurt by my words, you didn't do anything wrong. It was just very artistic, and when you go for artistic styles you tend to lose some people (like me).

Re: gyugafgyua

[jossiebabyahh]

Youre right.
I'm just overly sensitive. I am majoring in Creative Writing afterall.
But overall i think the story went good.

i hate quotation marks.

-_-

[howlsgirl]

Wow. Heartbreaker. *sniff*

I think I have one suggestion. You are dealing with a way heavy topic. Too serious to be taken as melancholy. So while your girl is bleeding out in the bathtub, Jae calling her a "silly" girl, even if it is a term of endearment, isn't enough for the moment. Sh='s dying and he's calling her silly. And now he knows she killed herself over him. His own grief would be staggering.

Hope I didn't offend you!!! *hides* Cuz you write so smoothly!

lol

[jossiebabyahh]

omo omo

you have offended me dearly.
i am crying my eyes out right now.
-_-
not really.

i know what you mean by the whole silly thing.
when i wrote that line i imagined him hugging her closely to his chest and crying as if he knew she wouldnt make it. he wanted her to make sure that he would never ever leave her even though he did. and he only left her for two months in order for him so sell his properties ( he is a painter afterall. in my head anyway.) and his house in order for him to take her away from all her pain. her prostitution pain.

i failed.

[yseia]

ok... i dunno about other people, but i got it the first time i read it and it was exactly as you wrote it. it didn't seem light to me or whatever. it was deep and angsty. or i'm just good at reading between the lines and putting emotions in?! ahahaha

but i like it! keep it up!

=)

[jossiebabyahh]

thank you.

i actually like this story alot.
but when i got mixed reviews i couldnt help but feel like it was a fail.
im too sensitive.
im so happy! you like it!
thankyouthankyou

i love angst!

=)

i write angst most of the time.

[lady_monochrome]

*pout* I liked it.

I was reading the above comments and I was all *pout* People sometimes tend to forget the fact that this is, after all, fiction. And the major problem with fanfiction is that you're writing for a fandom who is already expecting something out of you without even knowing your writing style

thankyouverymuch

[jossiebabyahh]

true.
when i wrote this story it was for my own personal emotions on romance.
you know?
and i know that some people dont like stories like this and it does make me sad that they dont but if they give it a chance then they will truly understand the meaning of it all.

when i write without quotations people tend to ask me why i dont follow the grammar rules.but once my teacher told me you can break the grammar rules once you know and understand what they are.

i think no quotations makes it more mysterious. dont you think?
hehehehe

jaejoong sounds so real to me in this story.
i find him quite appealing!

and your comments just made my day better.
now i can write angst without feeling like a failure.

=)))))))