Second Guessing Myself
I really need to know if this is what I want. If I am ready for what you want of me or if I just want to be my age. Committing to you means that I need to grow up and have responsibility which I am fine with but on the other hand am I ready to be an old married couple? I know that my greatest dream is to be married and have a family and be a cute housewife which is what I have now. But I feel like I am looking through the looking glass and seeing what I could have. Am I really ready for such a commitment? It really is all I have ever wanted but yet I am fucking scared out of my mind. But I don't know how to express it to you. Do I yell it at you like "HEY I AM FUCKING SCARED OF COMMITTING!" Should I just keep sending smoke signals and hoping you understand then? Maybe our talk tonight should help.