None of it
This one feels new. I never just sit outside and enjoy the weather like this anymore. Not that it's been all too possible this summer with touring constantly, and constantly being on the grind.
At any rate, here I am, and where am I?
I'm on the cusp of this insanely uprooting life crossroads, where I'm being torn between choosing a new path in life, or continuing to trudge down the current one, hoping for the best. I've never really seen anything through to the extent that I've pursued music, despite blaring and constant failures and disapprovals.
I think back to this Steve Jobs quote:
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."
And I think that I should trudge on. It motivates me to continue to face a valid fear that maybe I'm too old to pursue a career in music the way I had always envisioned I would. And then I refer to another Steve Jobs quote:
"Stay hungry, stay foolish."
My other options are another reinvention of myself. Or maybe if I'm lucky, I'll find some common ground in between. But I'm not sure there is a common ground between what I dream and what I'm facing could be my reality. And who dictates what my reality becomes but me? If this is what I'm happy doing, shouldn't I be happy doing it regardless the outcome?
I suppose, but there's always this space between where you start dreaming and the stars. Such a big gap, too.
And then there's me trying to make peace with all of it, including the people it's brought into my life. I want to say I'm hopeful, but really I just feel like I'm becoming content to see where things go and how they develop, and spending my time living in the present moment, and not worrying too much about the future.
I've never been one to shy away from the task of a hard days work as a means to an end, but sooner or later, that end has to come. I feel the hungriest when I feel the most adversity. The need to lion up, and fight for what I want in my life.
But I don't want to be a fool.
At any rate, here I am, and where am I?
I'm on the cusp of this insanely uprooting life crossroads, where I'm being torn between choosing a new path in life, or continuing to trudge down the current one, hoping for the best. I've never really seen anything through to the extent that I've pursued music, despite blaring and constant failures and disapprovals.
I think back to this Steve Jobs quote:
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."
And I think that I should trudge on. It motivates me to continue to face a valid fear that maybe I'm too old to pursue a career in music the way I had always envisioned I would. And then I refer to another Steve Jobs quote:
"Stay hungry, stay foolish."
My other options are another reinvention of myself. Or maybe if I'm lucky, I'll find some common ground in between. But I'm not sure there is a common ground between what I dream and what I'm facing could be my reality. And who dictates what my reality becomes but me? If this is what I'm happy doing, shouldn't I be happy doing it regardless the outcome?
I suppose, but there's always this space between where you start dreaming and the stars. Such a big gap, too.
And then there's me trying to make peace with all of it, including the people it's brought into my life. I want to say I'm hopeful, but really I just feel like I'm becoming content to see where things go and how they develop, and spending my time living in the present moment, and not worrying too much about the future.
I've never been one to shy away from the task of a hard days work as a means to an end, but sooner or later, that end has to come. I feel the hungriest when I feel the most adversity. The need to lion up, and fight for what I want in my life.
But I don't want to be a fool.