(no subject)
I'm realizing day by day that I don't battle with anything as much as I battle with myself. Just a never-ending barrage of fighting my own demons, and god damn it if I don't want them just dead already.
I think in my life I struggle on a daily basis with impulse to an excessive degree. I'm sure we all feel like that in one way or another. I just want to be a good person. The person I always thought I'd be.
These feelings I have of disappointment are genuine. It's not letting other people down that gets to me. It's letting myself down, and seeing that reflected in their eyes. They say the only constant is change, but I think there's another -- struggle.
I just want to be in the place where I said I'd be when I was young and dumb.
It's really sinking in that I might not even be the hero in my own story.
I've got to snap out of this.
I think in my life I struggle on a daily basis with impulse to an excessive degree. I'm sure we all feel like that in one way or another. I just want to be a good person. The person I always thought I'd be.
These feelings I have of disappointment are genuine. It's not letting other people down that gets to me. It's letting myself down, and seeing that reflected in their eyes. They say the only constant is change, but I think there's another -- struggle.
I just want to be in the place where I said I'd be when I was young and dumb.
It's really sinking in that I might not even be the hero in my own story.
I've got to snap out of this.