In Whatever Time We Have
I have a lot on my mind, but sometimes I choose to think about it, and sometimes I don't. I guess I'll just let this be a stream of consciousness.
I have just learned some sad news. Quite possibly the greatest conductor and teacher I've ever had, Dr. Oppenheim, will not be coming back to Crane next year. He just got engaged to his girlfriend who, for the past two years, he has been in a very long distance relationship with (Potsdam to Kansas). She teaches choir at Kansas State University, and they want to be together. And thus, K-State has offered Opp a job.
In addition, my voice teacher (definitely) and his wife (most likely), Dr. Koon and Dr. Allen, will also be leaving Crane. Due to politics and logistics in a silly academic system, Dr. Koon was not renewed and thus is looking for jobs around the country, and Dr. Allen is only adjunct so she probably will not stay. They are two of the best voice teachers at Crane, and their absence will impact many.
As you all know, this is my last semester at Crane. There was a possibility that last semester would be my last, but I was very stressed out with the work load, student teaching upcoming, and the decisions I had to make. I decided to space out last semester into two, and I don't regret it for one minute.
At the end of last semester and the beginning of this semester, I thought after student teaching I'd immediately return to Crane to pursue a graduate degree in Music Ed. With the upcoming departure of some amazing faculty, and with some other things I've been feeling, I think I have yet again changed my mind.
But, on the other hand, I'm feeling amazingly comfortable here. I am getting a little board of academia and my classes are not the best, but socially and physically in the world around me I do love it here so much. Which is of course crazy to most because it's the middle of nowhere and the low temperature is going to be -15 with a wind chill of -30 tomorrow! But I'm not most people... I'm really, really weird...
Nevertheless, the conclusion I'm coming closer and closer to is that after I'm done I want to try to get a job right away, teach for a couple of years, then get my masters degree later. Most people who have taken this path HIGHLY recommend it, saying that you get so much more out of graduate school when you've had some teaching experience.
Did you know that I feel more when I look at this flag than when I look at the one for my own country? I have so much Canadian envy lately, that I really feel that "the snow is always whiter on the other side of the St. Lawrence." I've been too lazy to put the pics on Facebook, but I had such an amazing time in Canada recently, and frankly the U.S. has been driving me crazy. The only problem, which I can't quite remember if I've talked about in previous entries, is that they don't have strong music education in Ontario (the only province I'd really want to live in, since the others are either too far or speak French). It's so strange, when I get obsessed with stuff... It happens all the time... And it's very bizarre... but they just really have it right... and we really don't.
My computer's been on and off sick lately. It had a virus called "Trojan.Vundo", which I think I've finally removed. The virus slowed my computer down so much that it wouldn't even get through the virus scan, so I had to run it in Safe Mode. Nevertheless, I may still get a new computer anyway, since this one is over 4 years old. If I get it, should I get a laptop or a desktop? Should I shell out an extra $500 for a Mac or stay with PC? Or should I try to reformat this computer? Or wait it out?
If you don't know this about me, you should. What to do with my computer, what to do about Crane/Grad School/Job, what to do about wanting to live in Canada... I'M HORRIBLE AT DECISIONS!!! Probably the worst I know...
I love Rachel so much, and our relationship is so amazing. But even I, the winter loving Potsdam/Canada-obsessing polar bear is yearning for the summer when her and I can be together all the time. The long distance relationship can be hard sometimes, and even though I've been doing it for so long, I want to just be with her more often now. I'm so jealous of her by the way, she saw Barack Obama today! Besides, I think if I were working and when I'm student teaching, and I'll be closer to Stewart Airport (direct CHEAP flights to Columbus!), things'll be easier. But...
IN THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY SHE'LL BE IN POTSDAM AND THEN THAT FRIDAY WE'RE GOING TO MONTREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things are good when I don't think about the ramifications for a wrong choice. I don't want an answer. I don't want someone to force me one way or the next. But any guidance, advice, or suggestions are good. Enough of my ramblings... I love you all!