(no subject)
I don't like my sister very much today. I skyped her. She asked last time for me to text her first, but I didn't. Take the hint. I just don't think it would have mattered.
She was angry that her husband had called the county assessors office. Though why she should be angry surprises me in one way and another way not. Being disappointed in others seems the default. To me.
Well, she's sure he's done something stupid. But to be angry about people doing stupid stuff? It is not an exception by any stretch. Perhaps she feels diminished.
She lives in a house where she is dependent very much on the support of her housemates because she is couch-ridden for nearly every waking moment of the day. Her husband and her son bring her meals and water though their efforts are not enough.
When she talks to me, she is a usually upset about something that they have either done or not done and she is mad.
For me, just as a bystander, it feels like being caught in a gale force wind and buffeted around. I don't like it.
But I find myself responding in kind to what I feel are provocations. She enjoys company for her negative emotions. And for an hour and more after, I am still trying to come to terms with how I reacted, badly to her bad mood. To the point that I am ready for a vacation from her daily shit show.
Just trying to enjoy my day, thought she might want a little chat, but she was too worried. She exclaimed, "He's losing it!" Twice. about her husband. He's sure he's on the edge of dementia, and with his poor hearing and impaired heart function, eesh. He drives to the grocery store a few times a week, but she always expects him back sooner. She gets angry that it's taking him so long. He's 80. Cut him some slack.
She sounded upset.
She acts like a know-it-all and grinds on about things that I don't care about. The Ryder Cup, House Hunters, House Hunters International, the new seasons of PBS that are coming.
If I was dependent on my housemates, I would hope that I wouldn't be so antagonistic. It's just weird. And I feel kind of empathic thinking, Suzy don't be so angry, but if I don't support her in her anger because, I feel she is rocking her own survival boat, she gets mad at me too.
You're either with me or agin me and counselling prudence is not appreciated. God, she's difficult..