Jessie James Diary
I went to eat from the forbidden cake and got burned. My cake it baking in another oven these days. And what makes it worse is I offered extra icing for my cake. With sprikles on top. THEN found out a new oven was being used. Yup...
Now, really the only person who understands this is my sister, who is laughing right now I'm sure.
Things are adding up and I have an offer to move to Austin.
I need to write it out and see how I feel about this... I feel like maybe I should put some of this out there, like maybe it is a little too naked for people to read, but here it goes.
Cons:
(1) I love my job here. I up on the totem pole, settled, and well liked by everyone at work.
(2) My family is here, and even though my mother has not been the easiest person these last few days, I still don't like the idea of moving 1100 miles away.
(3) School would be EASIER just because I already know the school, the people, the hospital, and the system really.
(4) My friends that Ihave grown up with are here and I am used to them by now. lol.
(5) As much as this town gets to me it is still my home.
(6) I have an amazing hair stylist and eyebrow girl
Pros:
(1) The first Pro of course is being able to see my two girls and sister EVERYDAY!
(2) I can work in bigger hospitals with more chances to do more things. I can work NICU, ICU, Level 1 ER, PED ICU, Neuro
(3) BETTER schools.
(4) Bigger city without it being HUGE. I won't work a codes on people I know all the time.
(5) Higher pay scale with cheaper cost of living
(6) Great night life
(7) LOL, Mark and Mario
(8) Being able to walk several blocks barefoot and have your feet look strangely clean.
(9) Sitting in a cafe listening to some up and coming singer/songwriter guy with his guitar singing about my broken heart.
(10) Starting over.
It's been a crazy year.
True honesty...
The bad stuff:
People I trusted proved to be non-trustworthy. My best friend turned into someone I didn't even know. The one guy I have ever trusted not to be "that" guy, lied to me so many times I can't even count. People I knew died, though no one close. I was in and out of the hospital, the last time was scary as hell. I went to Sudan, break a few ribs. I had to quit LifeLine and working in the field for awhile...And the most recent... I fell in love with someone who was too stupid, too busy with his own life, and too blinded by someone else who treated him like dirt to see it, much less appreciate it. Of course, I too didn't see it until a few months ago so how could I have expected him to get it when I didn't want to. Even Kendyl saw it months before I did. I came to terms with it, and then accepted that he didn't see it, or didn't want it. Either way it didn't matter which was fine with me. I wanted the friendship more. His words, his actions... he walked out of my life long before I ever pushed him away. Maybe I dodged a bullet... just because I could've made him happy doesn't mean he would have done the same for me. I appreciate good hearts... I need someone who would do the same.
The good stuff:
I regained the strong side of me that I lost when I was with Kendyl. I grasped onto my girly side and I love it. I wear heels, I wear sexy jeans, and Iknow how to do my hair and I don't do it for anyone but me because I AM WORTH it. I have made amazing friends this year, ones that will last a lifetime. I have grown up more this year this any year of my life. I have learned how to handle things alone, yet how to rely on friends and family more. I have become a reliable person at work. Someone everyone counts on and wants to work with. Soemone other people go to and asks questions. I feel comfy in the things I know. I have learned how to forgive people better. I have learned how to not let the small things bother me as much. I am going to learn how to bowl for my birthday. I rocked it in Africa, and kind of all over the world this year. And even though the boys in my life this year over-all kinda sucked... they were all tons of fun... I explored dark caves, I had great kissers, and you always need a good starry night drive listening to musicals.
So now what? Do I take my story to Texas to start a new chapter?
Now, really the only person who understands this is my sister, who is laughing right now I'm sure.
Things are adding up and I have an offer to move to Austin.
I need to write it out and see how I feel about this... I feel like maybe I should put some of this out there, like maybe it is a little too naked for people to read, but here it goes.
Cons:
(1) I love my job here. I up on the totem pole, settled, and well liked by everyone at work.
(2) My family is here, and even though my mother has not been the easiest person these last few days, I still don't like the idea of moving 1100 miles away.
(3) School would be EASIER just because I already know the school, the people, the hospital, and the system really.
(4) My friends that Ihave grown up with are here and I am used to them by now. lol.
(5) As much as this town gets to me it is still my home.
(6) I have an amazing hair stylist and eyebrow girl
Pros:
(1) The first Pro of course is being able to see my two girls and sister EVERYDAY!
(2) I can work in bigger hospitals with more chances to do more things. I can work NICU, ICU, Level 1 ER, PED ICU, Neuro
(3) BETTER schools.
(4) Bigger city without it being HUGE. I won't work a codes on people I know all the time.
(5) Higher pay scale with cheaper cost of living
(6) Great night life
(7) LOL, Mark and Mario
(8) Being able to walk several blocks barefoot and have your feet look strangely clean.
(9) Sitting in a cafe listening to some up and coming singer/songwriter guy with his guitar singing about my broken heart.
(10) Starting over.
It's been a crazy year.
True honesty...
The bad stuff:
People I trusted proved to be non-trustworthy. My best friend turned into someone I didn't even know. The one guy I have ever trusted not to be "that" guy, lied to me so many times I can't even count. People I knew died, though no one close. I was in and out of the hospital, the last time was scary as hell. I went to Sudan, break a few ribs. I had to quit LifeLine and working in the field for awhile...And the most recent... I fell in love with someone who was too stupid, too busy with his own life, and too blinded by someone else who treated him like dirt to see it, much less appreciate it. Of course, I too didn't see it until a few months ago so how could I have expected him to get it when I didn't want to. Even Kendyl saw it months before I did. I came to terms with it, and then accepted that he didn't see it, or didn't want it. Either way it didn't matter which was fine with me. I wanted the friendship more. His words, his actions... he walked out of my life long before I ever pushed him away. Maybe I dodged a bullet... just because I could've made him happy doesn't mean he would have done the same for me. I appreciate good hearts... I need someone who would do the same.
The good stuff:
I regained the strong side of me that I lost when I was with Kendyl. I grasped onto my girly side and I love it. I wear heels, I wear sexy jeans, and Iknow how to do my hair and I don't do it for anyone but me because I AM WORTH it. I have made amazing friends this year, ones that will last a lifetime. I have grown up more this year this any year of my life. I have learned how to handle things alone, yet how to rely on friends and family more. I have become a reliable person at work. Someone everyone counts on and wants to work with. Soemone other people go to and asks questions. I feel comfy in the things I know. I have learned how to forgive people better. I have learned how to not let the small things bother me as much. I am going to learn how to bowl for my birthday. I rocked it in Africa, and kind of all over the world this year. And even though the boys in my life this year over-all kinda sucked... they were all tons of fun... I explored dark caves, I had great kissers, and you always need a good starry night drive listening to musicals.
So now what? Do I take my story to Texas to start a new chapter?