did i ever mean anything ?
i'm in a state of confusion.
i wonder if i made an impact. i wonder if i mattered to him, or i mean absolutely nothing. i wonder if in that letter, it said anything that changed him. i wonder if when he just stares its cause he feels bad, just doesn't know what to say, or cause he doesn't want me to annoy him. i wonder if he thinks i'm just crazy.
these are countless questions in my head; which all came up again on saturday night.
it was a long time, and i'm just thinking if it matters only to me.
i never would have guessed i would have been here right now. but i'm happy, or i believe i am. i just honestly couldn't guess where i'd be had things worked out differently. i can't imagine how i was a year ago, as myself nowadays. i realize that seems a ridiculous statement, but i was the same way for so long. maybe i was extremely self destructive.
hmm... this whole livejournal just seems to be my former self.
i wonder if i made an impact. i wonder if i mattered to him, or i mean absolutely nothing. i wonder if in that letter, it said anything that changed him. i wonder if when he just stares its cause he feels bad, just doesn't know what to say, or cause he doesn't want me to annoy him. i wonder if he thinks i'm just crazy.
these are countless questions in my head; which all came up again on saturday night.
it was a long time, and i'm just thinking if it matters only to me.
i never would have guessed i would have been here right now. but i'm happy, or i believe i am. i just honestly couldn't guess where i'd be had things worked out differently. i can't imagine how i was a year ago, as myself nowadays. i realize that seems a ridiculous statement, but i was the same way for so long. maybe i was extremely self destructive.
hmm... this whole livejournal just seems to be my former self.