i don't even know what to think, is it me?
friday afternoon i was on the swings with jessi at quarton school, and we were talking, and i explained the whole best friend situation with me. 1st theres jenna, the girl who's been my best friend since i was 3. a year and 3 month and 29 days younger, we grew up across the street from one and other. but eventually we both moved (around 6th grade). she lives right by harlan, and i now by groves. we could see each other alot. but we don't, its a few times a year. christmas, birthdays, summer vacation. i haven't since christmas, we dont have much to talk about. the relationship is held together by our past. we are a strictly "do things" friendship; meaning, no long conversations. so theres louise; my cousin, the one who at one point " got me", made me laugh like no one will ever be able to, who can give me confidence, and understand me. now its bullshit. somewhere along the way, we both changed; and now she says she'll call back and doesn't, twice in ONE day. the close relationship is gone. then jennifer; who was always there for me. then she moved, we still write, but her for the 1st time in almost 3 years at the end of march. she came to school with me, and there'd be almost nothing to talk about. its hard. out of those 3, louise was the only person who knew what my life is like.
with the exception of a handful of friends; alot of "friends" have been seemingly avoiding things with me. maybe just paranoia with some. like me calling and them not picking up... understandable. but i found out small little insignificant lies, that if they had told me the truth, i wouldn't have been pissed off. then some others avoid seeing me. then phone calls, again.
so after discussing this all with rachael (i had more of a detailed view for her) i asked:
bronzed4life: wtf is wrong with these people
bronzed4life: is there something wrong with me? or something wrong with society?
skigirl4700: society mos def
bronzed4life: that question was so holden caufield
skigirl4700: who is holden?
bronzed4life: rachael racheal racheal
bronzed4life: we're getting you this book this week
bronzed4life: CATCHER IN THE RYE
bronzed4life: its amazing
bronzed4life: you'll love it
bronzed4life: it'll change your view on life
skigirl4700: haha ye i heard its really good
bronzed4life: you'll be so cynical afterward
skigirl4700: haha that could be good
bronzed4life: its amazing
bronzed4life: the book has everything
skigirl4700: ill be sure to read it
the vast realization swept across me, that people haven't experienced this. (we don't read it in flex til our senoir year). and then the realization that she didn't know holden. holden is everyone. holden is what all teenagers are, when they realize "what the fuck is going on around me?" and asks questions of why and what-not. the book incompasses so much. its incrediable.
my point of that aim conversation was to point out my question: is it me? or is it them? (them being everyone, my idea of holden's main idea)
it really is a shame i didn't get to discuss that book freshman year in flex, and that i have to wait 2 more years.
well i've eaten and eaten and eaten today. not that healthy either. i've been running every other day, and its fantastic.
with the exception of a handful of friends; alot of "friends" have been seemingly avoiding things with me. maybe just paranoia with some. like me calling and them not picking up... understandable. but i found out small little insignificant lies, that if they had told me the truth, i wouldn't have been pissed off. then some others avoid seeing me. then phone calls, again.
so after discussing this all with rachael (i had more of a detailed view for her) i asked:
bronzed4life: wtf is wrong with these people
bronzed4life: is there something wrong with me? or something wrong with society?
skigirl4700: society mos def
bronzed4life: that question was so holden caufield
skigirl4700: who is holden?
bronzed4life: rachael racheal racheal
bronzed4life: we're getting you this book this week
bronzed4life: CATCHER IN THE RYE
bronzed4life: its amazing
bronzed4life: you'll love it
bronzed4life: it'll change your view on life
skigirl4700: haha ye i heard its really good
bronzed4life: you'll be so cynical afterward
skigirl4700: haha that could be good
bronzed4life: its amazing
bronzed4life: the book has everything
skigirl4700: ill be sure to read it
the vast realization swept across me, that people haven't experienced this. (we don't read it in flex til our senoir year). and then the realization that she didn't know holden. holden is everyone. holden is what all teenagers are, when they realize "what the fuck is going on around me?" and asks questions of why and what-not. the book incompasses so much. its incrediable.
my point of that aim conversation was to point out my question: is it me? or is it them? (them being everyone, my idea of holden's main idea)
it really is a shame i didn't get to discuss that book freshman year in flex, and that i have to wait 2 more years.
well i've eaten and eaten and eaten today. not that healthy either. i've been running every other day, and its fantastic.