I was crying and was in a writing mood.
i give the wrong first impression half the time. mostly from what people hear about me. it doesnt really bother me as much now that im used to it at Saugus. im a very caring person. extremely. i dont like to see people sad, or crying. it upsets me. ill do anything ot make you smile and laugh. im funny, i make weird noises, i make fun of pidgeons [YES I MADE UP THE TERM PIDGEONS FOR THE SCENE FRESHMAN. STOP SAYING IT], i laugh at EVEERYTHING, and i say dumb shit. i try to put others before me. im judged way too much. all ive ever wanted and will ever want is happiness and being able to stay happy for as long as possible. right when i think i've gotten to that point, it all comes crashing down. i think i'm my own hero. i love myself for who i am, what ive accomplished, and overcome on my own. i care way too much about people i barely know. i cry very easily. im scared of being alone. im scared of dying alone. im scared of finding love and losing it. im scared of my stepdad. im scared of never being truely happy. the only man that i know i could not live without is my grandpa. i live for him. he means the world to me. he's incredible. he's my hero also. im worried about my sister. shes 11 and doing things i would have never dreamed of doing at her age. im mature for my age. im wise for my age. tell me your problems, ill help you and give you advice. im really good at it. ive been in almost every bad situation a teenage girl could be in. i hate lying. i hate ebing lied to. i hate when people dont keep promises. i really hate being read from the outside in. instead of the inside out. i like books. they make me happy. they teach me something. they take me away from reality. i like learning. i hate school. i want to be happy.