Right Wrong
Title: Right Wrong
Author: jemnise
Pairing: GTOP
Length: drabble (wth, i dunno what a drabble and a oneshot anymore ROFLMAO)
Author's Note: I've been struggling. like yea. struggling. in life and in writing. don't ask me why. I can like make a novel of my rants. LOL but yea. muses started going away for the nth time and it hurts bigtime T______________T oh whatever. i need to finish my video, i ditched work, and now I am eating peanuts. LOOOL :p
You always wonder what you call the certain sensation that you are feeling right now, the sensation that you felt when he was here. The sensation you got when he left. And the sensation you are feeling now that he's standing in front of you, huge smile plastered on his face, hands holding out a paper bag.
You were thinking, and then you just quit it.
You quit it cause its tiresome to think, its easier for you to take him in your arms, embrace him as if you didn't see him for eons. Protect his fragile body from everything, that is way easier than thinking.
"Glad to have you back Kwon" You uttered cause its easier to speak than to think.
"Hyung... I can't.." he struggled, so you just let him go, let him breathe as you glance at the other people in the restaurant you're in. It was a surprise and you think, you're the most surprised creature on earth that time.
The happiest, would be the best word for it. So happy,you feel like kissing him.
But no, that is wrong right? You convinced yourself not to act upon your feelings anymore. The feelings that you cannot recognize. The feelings that you don't want to acknowledge because it is weird. So weird that it hurts you.
It's a wrong time. Wrong place to be thinking of him, wrong time, wrong everything.
But he's the right one, and him being gone for more than a week made you realize that.
Made you realize that he's the right one, that he could never be the wrong one because he's too perfect for you.
Made you realize that however right it is, how right he is, how right you are for him, everything around you is wrong.
So you stop your heart from beating, and resume your thinking. because that is a must. You should be thinking with your brain not with your heart.
"What did you do there?" You ask as you puff in smoke. You just went home, and he decided to stay up late just to talk to you. You guessed right, your bestfriend missed you too and it made your heart flutter.
"Nothing much... go here, there... i pretty much said everything during dinner hyung, you weren't listening" he teased you as you just smiled and thought; I was listening, but I am more focused on stopping myself from doing stupid things, like kissing you
"Hyung..." he muttered. You again puffed from the cancer stick, your 5th from the time you arrived home.
"What is it?" You asked nonchalantly.
"I did miss you. Bigtime. Can you imagine that? HA.HA. I called you guys often, but I still miss you" You smiled, pat him
oh the shoulder and said;
"Kid, i miss you too" how much you wanted to say his name and follow up with the words "I miss you too", but you just cannot because you're afraid that if you say his name, you will not be able to follow it up with the right words.
And you're stopping yourself from many things, like telling him the one honest truth you're holding; "Ji Yong-ah.. hyung loves you"
You love him. You know he's the right one. But then everything's wrong.
"JiYong-ah... my heart hurts" you finally muttered.
"Mine too" You were shock, but your happiness overpowered that shock.
"Europe is a free land right? Do you have plans of going back? Maybe I can join?" You ask without looking at him, you don't need to anyways. You were both looking at the nothingness of the sky. As if you are looking at one same picture, and you wish that the picture would be you and him, together, free.
"So free hyung, so free... yet so empty." his voice trailed off as his hand found its way to yours. Every gap was filled, every inhibition was taken away, just his hands into yours, fingers interlaced with yours.
"You're not there, and even now that I come home... hyung, are you here?"
You didn't bulge, you kept looking at the night sky, smiled, held onto his hands tightly, closed your eyes and said;
"I don't have any plans of leaving Ji. Let's wait until Korea open their eyes on gay people?" he moved closer to you, rest his head on your shoulder as you finished your stick and hold onto the railings.
"Next time... don't let me be depressed again. It's easy to tell me that you like me hyung... you made me miserable" You planted a kiss on his hair, held his face using your free hand and uttered;
"You always wanted to go abroad anyways, and besides, now we have a place to run for refuge... are you certain with what your heart tells you?... because I am" You didn't know but tears flow out from your eyes. Overwhelming situations like this make you cry more than anything else.
"Yes. hyung. shall we wait for korea or run for refuge now? I would not mind"
You wanted to say yes, you wanted to say no. But you didn't answer. you just stood there, holding his hand, holding his face waiting for the sun to shine on you. Maybe it will light up the universe and make every wrong thing, right. Maybe it will make everything easier. Maybe...
Although the fact would still remain. That the only right thing you have right now is Kwon Ji Yong. Besides that, you know nothing.
Author: jemnise
Pairing: GTOP
Length: drabble (wth, i dunno what a drabble and a oneshot anymore ROFLMAO)
Author's Note: I've been struggling. like yea. struggling. in life and in writing. don't ask me why. I can like make a novel of my rants. LOL but yea. muses started going away for the nth time and it hurts bigtime T______________T oh whatever. i need to finish my video, i ditched work, and now I am eating peanuts. LOOOL :p
You always wonder what you call the certain sensation that you are feeling right now, the sensation that you felt when he was here. The sensation you got when he left. And the sensation you are feeling now that he's standing in front of you, huge smile plastered on his face, hands holding out a paper bag.
You were thinking, and then you just quit it.
You quit it cause its tiresome to think, its easier for you to take him in your arms, embrace him as if you didn't see him for eons. Protect his fragile body from everything, that is way easier than thinking.
"Glad to have you back Kwon" You uttered cause its easier to speak than to think.
"Hyung... I can't.." he struggled, so you just let him go, let him breathe as you glance at the other people in the restaurant you're in. It was a surprise and you think, you're the most surprised creature on earth that time.
The happiest, would be the best word for it. So happy,you feel like kissing him.
But no, that is wrong right? You convinced yourself not to act upon your feelings anymore. The feelings that you cannot recognize. The feelings that you don't want to acknowledge because it is weird. So weird that it hurts you.
It's a wrong time. Wrong place to be thinking of him, wrong time, wrong everything.
But he's the right one, and him being gone for more than a week made you realize that.
Made you realize that he's the right one, that he could never be the wrong one because he's too perfect for you.
Made you realize that however right it is, how right he is, how right you are for him, everything around you is wrong.
So you stop your heart from beating, and resume your thinking. because that is a must. You should be thinking with your brain not with your heart.
"What did you do there?" You ask as you puff in smoke. You just went home, and he decided to stay up late just to talk to you. You guessed right, your bestfriend missed you too and it made your heart flutter.
"Nothing much... go here, there... i pretty much said everything during dinner hyung, you weren't listening" he teased you as you just smiled and thought; I was listening, but I am more focused on stopping myself from doing stupid things, like kissing you
"Hyung..." he muttered. You again puffed from the cancer stick, your 5th from the time you arrived home.
"What is it?" You asked nonchalantly.
"I did miss you. Bigtime. Can you imagine that? HA.HA. I called you guys often, but I still miss you" You smiled, pat him
oh the shoulder and said;
"Kid, i miss you too" how much you wanted to say his name and follow up with the words "I miss you too", but you just cannot because you're afraid that if you say his name, you will not be able to follow it up with the right words.
And you're stopping yourself from many things, like telling him the one honest truth you're holding; "Ji Yong-ah.. hyung loves you"
You love him. You know he's the right one. But then everything's wrong.
"JiYong-ah... my heart hurts" you finally muttered.
"Mine too" You were shock, but your happiness overpowered that shock.
"Europe is a free land right? Do you have plans of going back? Maybe I can join?" You ask without looking at him, you don't need to anyways. You were both looking at the nothingness of the sky. As if you are looking at one same picture, and you wish that the picture would be you and him, together, free.
"So free hyung, so free... yet so empty." his voice trailed off as his hand found its way to yours. Every gap was filled, every inhibition was taken away, just his hands into yours, fingers interlaced with yours.
"You're not there, and even now that I come home... hyung, are you here?"
You didn't bulge, you kept looking at the night sky, smiled, held onto his hands tightly, closed your eyes and said;
"I don't have any plans of leaving Ji. Let's wait until Korea open their eyes on gay people?" he moved closer to you, rest his head on your shoulder as you finished your stick and hold onto the railings.
"Next time... don't let me be depressed again. It's easy to tell me that you like me hyung... you made me miserable" You planted a kiss on his hair, held his face using your free hand and uttered;
"You always wanted to go abroad anyways, and besides, now we have a place to run for refuge... are you certain with what your heart tells you?... because I am" You didn't know but tears flow out from your eyes. Overwhelming situations like this make you cry more than anything else.
"Yes. hyung. shall we wait for korea or run for refuge now? I would not mind"
You wanted to say yes, you wanted to say no. But you didn't answer. you just stood there, holding his hand, holding his face waiting for the sun to shine on you. Maybe it will light up the universe and make every wrong thing, right. Maybe it will make everything easier. Maybe...
Although the fact would still remain. That the only right thing you have right now is Kwon Ji Yong. Besides that, you know nothing.