The gloom on a sunny day.
I don't know why, but recently I've heard the Paul Simon song "You Can Call Me Al" all over the place on the radio. As a kid I loved the song and it also is featured on my mp3 player as well. it amuses me that it's on the radio so often though. It reminds me of a time when musicians were musicians, not technicians with computers. There's an eloquence in a turn of phrase and it had to do with the human condition, not just love or lust or sex or misc body parts. Something that everyone experiences, the one day waking up and wondering what happened to my life?
I'm torn between actually getting some form of work done or simply laying in bed and reading/napping. I spent friday and saturday cleaning trent's house (and by cleaning I mean deep cleaning - washing floors with a sponge on my hands and knees kind of thorough cleaning.) Realistically I need to do the same to my house, or at least my corners of it. I threw out some food I'd either gotten from the farm that's gone bad or take out containers from food purchased weeks ago. Mom recently cleaned the attic and put all my stuff in one corner I need to go through. Then I had to clear out my room so they could change my mattress -again- so half of my belongings are in the linen closet. I'm much too lazy to actually do anything though.
There's just a gloom over my head that I can't shake that envelopes me much like the insane humidity of the last few days. I have a feeling part of it has to do with finances. People say that one shouldn't live above their means. I think I do that with the exception of school. I simply can't afford going to school. If it weren't for tuition, I'd be pretty decent. Still not in the ideal situation but decent. And it's starting to stress me out in ways other than getting papers written and assignments read. And soon I'll be 25 still working two part time jobs, one that drives me nuts, the other I really don't want to leave. I don't know what I want to do with my life and I have too much in student loans to be a couch potato.
I really just want the gloom to go away.
I'm torn between actually getting some form of work done or simply laying in bed and reading/napping. I spent friday and saturday cleaning trent's house (and by cleaning I mean deep cleaning - washing floors with a sponge on my hands and knees kind of thorough cleaning.) Realistically I need to do the same to my house, or at least my corners of it. I threw out some food I'd either gotten from the farm that's gone bad or take out containers from food purchased weeks ago. Mom recently cleaned the attic and put all my stuff in one corner I need to go through. Then I had to clear out my room so they could change my mattress -again- so half of my belongings are in the linen closet. I'm much too lazy to actually do anything though.
There's just a gloom over my head that I can't shake that envelopes me much like the insane humidity of the last few days. I have a feeling part of it has to do with finances. People say that one shouldn't live above their means. I think I do that with the exception of school. I simply can't afford going to school. If it weren't for tuition, I'd be pretty decent. Still not in the ideal situation but decent. And it's starting to stress me out in ways other than getting papers written and assignments read. And soon I'll be 25 still working two part time jobs, one that drives me nuts, the other I really don't want to leave. I don't know what I want to do with my life and I have too much in student loans to be a couch potato.
I really just want the gloom to go away.