236.8 - Trying for motivation...
I am firmly on the struggle bus right now. I'm unsure of what has happened; maybe it's the letdown after the wedding. Everyone's gone home, we've returned to work, and the newness of being married has worn off to other people. I think there's a difference when you say, "I got married last week" versus "I got married two weeks ago."
My original plan was to go to Spin this morning. I was able to get a few classes reinstated since before my surgery. I just couldn't get the momentum to go. I feel this general BLAH has settled over me right now. I have been looking up other gym options, and decided to load them onto my personal calendar. I feel as though my parents are somewhat settling (for a given value of settling) and perhaps, I can start investing in my own self-care.
I know I was making great headway about four years back. And yes, things have changed. There's been parental moving and spinal surgeries and all sorts of things. But there's also this piece of working really hard to put my office together and then not really using it, until today. I've been in here maybe a handful of times since organizing and reorganizing and there was this letdown then. What else am I supposed to work on if I'm not battling the office?
I continue to find myself jealous of other folks whom have prioritized their health and are able to stick with a routine. Usually, I excel at routines. I used to have one. Now, I need to refocus and make it a priority if I truly do want to change our future. I frequently talk about it with my husband (!) about how I don't want us to end up like my parents. They didn't take care of themselves and now, relatively young, they're disabled and also don't have the gumption to do anything about it. I don't want us to be there. And I don't want our 30yo kids doing what I have been doing.
Maybe next week, I'll actually get to the spin class. I no longer have an excuse. And this feeling of malaise will pass. It always does. I think I'm just struggling with being down on myself and feeling like I need a pity party. We have had a helluva year. My parents have officially been up here a year, I've redone this office, we organized our house to accommodate for the four households that were moving in or moving on. I earned my full license and a grief class will be starting soon. There's exciting things on the horizon...
... I just need to motivate myself to keep it together and go to the gym.
My original plan was to go to Spin this morning. I was able to get a few classes reinstated since before my surgery. I just couldn't get the momentum to go. I feel this general BLAH has settled over me right now. I have been looking up other gym options, and decided to load them onto my personal calendar. I feel as though my parents are somewhat settling (for a given value of settling) and perhaps, I can start investing in my own self-care.
I know I was making great headway about four years back. And yes, things have changed. There's been parental moving and spinal surgeries and all sorts of things. But there's also this piece of working really hard to put my office together and then not really using it, until today. I've been in here maybe a handful of times since organizing and reorganizing and there was this letdown then. What else am I supposed to work on if I'm not battling the office?
I continue to find myself jealous of other folks whom have prioritized their health and are able to stick with a routine. Usually, I excel at routines. I used to have one. Now, I need to refocus and make it a priority if I truly do want to change our future. I frequently talk about it with my husband (!) about how I don't want us to end up like my parents. They didn't take care of themselves and now, relatively young, they're disabled and also don't have the gumption to do anything about it. I don't want us to be there. And I don't want our 30yo kids doing what I have been doing.
Maybe next week, I'll actually get to the spin class. I no longer have an excuse. And this feeling of malaise will pass. It always does. I think I'm just struggling with being down on myself and feeling like I need a pity party. We have had a helluva year. My parents have officially been up here a year, I've redone this office, we organized our house to accommodate for the four households that were moving in or moving on. I earned my full license and a grief class will be starting soon. There's exciting things on the horizon...
... I just need to motivate myself to keep it together and go to the gym.