224ish and still trying to find the balance...
When I put on my bathing suit the other day, it seemed as though I was littler again. My bottoms kept trying to come off; they stayed with a hope and prayer. But it's interesting that I've still been able to hold onto the weight loss for a brief time despite not really engaging in the lifestyle. I have been having some difficulty with eating, seeing as my parents predominantly eat processed and fast foods, but try to make healthy choices where I can. I know it is about balance, so I'm hopeful this this tenuous dance I have been doing is still holding onto the changes I have made. I regularly see 224/225 on the scale, and while the sizes haven't exactly changed, I know why I'm not making more progress downward. However, it's still a loss of 15 pounds since the beginning of this year, so that is indeed progress. I weigh close to what I weighed in grad school before the job loss and everything went sideways.
I ran the other weekend on my forgotten treadmill, finally moving the office into some semblance of order to try and make that a writing and work-out sanctuary. It felt pretty awesome to still be able to run two minutes and not collapse, nor have my breath taken from me. I know that by doing that, I'm still light years ahead of where I started.
I'm trying to balance the mental health aspects of things as well, seeing as we came to the ocean for a much-needed vacation. I swam in the ocean for the first time in two years on Sunday, and granted, while apparently I now have poison oak and spent some time yesterday in urgent care (!!!), it was good to get into the water. It battled me a bit, knocked me down, and drug me out of the sea a few times, but it was good to paddle around and not be in control for that hour. I've read a lot while down here. I am trying to do my planner, but have been struggling with that, realizing I haven't really wrote in it since March. First, I had thought it was May, but no, March. Which would correlate with my parents speeding up their process north and the ridiculousness that has come with it.
I'm trying. I'm trying so hard, but right now, I need to practice the kindness and compassion on myself. I might not be able to run right now for time constraints, but I can make healthier choices and try to get some movement in...
... it's the small changes that have the biggest effect anyway.
I ran the other weekend on my forgotten treadmill, finally moving the office into some semblance of order to try and make that a writing and work-out sanctuary. It felt pretty awesome to still be able to run two minutes and not collapse, nor have my breath taken from me. I know that by doing that, I'm still light years ahead of where I started.
I'm trying to balance the mental health aspects of things as well, seeing as we came to the ocean for a much-needed vacation. I swam in the ocean for the first time in two years on Sunday, and granted, while apparently I now have poison oak and spent some time yesterday in urgent care (!!!), it was good to get into the water. It battled me a bit, knocked me down, and drug me out of the sea a few times, but it was good to paddle around and not be in control for that hour. I've read a lot while down here. I am trying to do my planner, but have been struggling with that, realizing I haven't really wrote in it since March. First, I had thought it was May, but no, March. Which would correlate with my parents speeding up their process north and the ridiculousness that has come with it.
I'm trying. I'm trying so hard, but right now, I need to practice the kindness and compassion on myself. I might not be able to run right now for time constraints, but I can make healthier choices and try to get some movement in...
... it's the small changes that have the biggest effect anyway.