My new nickname

[jaygibbons]

So, last night we lost to the Blue Jays. I would like to remind everybody that I am the one who tied the game, okay? Then that pansy ass Bigbie couldn't get us a run. Just goes to show you that even though he's popular with the ladies, he still can't do shit when it really matters. Bigbie is getting on my last damn nerve lately. People throw beer on me alot. Of course you don't hear about it on TV, cause I'm not Gary fucking Sheffield. But by the end of a normal home game I smell like a drunk whore outside Johnny Damon's hotel room. Away games are even worse. Ever since Bigbie saw some asshole toss one on me, he's been calling me "O'Douls", because he says I'm not hard enough to be a beer that is actually alcoholic. He doesn't know shit about being hard enough considering I caught him diggin' into Rafi's stash of Viagara the other day.

P.S. - Who do I have to bang to get membership to thedugout? DAMN!