(no subject)
I have a friend who has nothing going for him.
His name is Michael. He's Tasmanian, 23 now. He went to college, but hasn't done anything since. Literally, nothing. Never had a job or a relationship (except with his sister's best friend, who used him for comfort before going back to her boyfriend), still a virgin, drinks so much that he had gout earlier this year....
He's loved me, for a given value of love, for four or five years now. We even tried having a relationship a couple of times, but it was never going to work out, because he has nothing.
He says that, if I just gave him a chance, he'd try. That's not fair. He can't make having a basic life dependant on me putting mine on hold.
He keeps making excuses. I tell him that, to get a job (and this works as a metaphor and general advice), you don't wait till you have it and then get the qualifications and attitude you need. You show up to the interview with them. Maybe you'll get it and maybe you won't, but what kind of basic disrespect does that show, to expect someone to take you on when you have nothing, purely because of your own laziness, and make your effort dependant on them holding you up? It's not fair.
The few times we have been together, he hasn't changed. He doesn't try to get a job. Once, he told me that he doesn't want to do a job he won't like. Well, guess what? You have to, in order to get one that you do like.
As of two days ago, he's dating a mutual friend of ours, from the Phillipines. Well, I say friend. She treats me like I'm someone famous and unusual, like "Wow, I'm in the presence of the Kali Ravel?!". She's young, and wants children, which means they're well suited. She even looks a little like me.
He says he's going to change, but he's vague as to how. He hasn't taken any steps towards getting a job yet. I honestly think that he's going to make the same mistakes; when she's a little older, she'll realise that he has nothing to offer her, that they can't build a life together. And then, he'll blame her for that, and say she never gave him a chance.
Maybe I'm just hurt by losing my safety net.
He's right in some things. We could have worked together, apart from the whole children and other-side-of-the-world and jobless alcoholic issues. Physically, he's my type, and he's a sports fan. I always kind of wanted a sports fan. I like the idea of someone who gets really into something, and is happy to watch it while I read a book, and cheer the score every so often. I think that's adorable.
But then, you can't be with someone in the hope that they'll change into someone you like better, even if that's what they want.
His name is Michael. He's Tasmanian, 23 now. He went to college, but hasn't done anything since. Literally, nothing. Never had a job or a relationship (except with his sister's best friend, who used him for comfort before going back to her boyfriend), still a virgin, drinks so much that he had gout earlier this year....
He's loved me, for a given value of love, for four or five years now. We even tried having a relationship a couple of times, but it was never going to work out, because he has nothing.
He says that, if I just gave him a chance, he'd try. That's not fair. He can't make having a basic life dependant on me putting mine on hold.
He keeps making excuses. I tell him that, to get a job (and this works as a metaphor and general advice), you don't wait till you have it and then get the qualifications and attitude you need. You show up to the interview with them. Maybe you'll get it and maybe you won't, but what kind of basic disrespect does that show, to expect someone to take you on when you have nothing, purely because of your own laziness, and make your effort dependant on them holding you up? It's not fair.
The few times we have been together, he hasn't changed. He doesn't try to get a job. Once, he told me that he doesn't want to do a job he won't like. Well, guess what? You have to, in order to get one that you do like.
As of two days ago, he's dating a mutual friend of ours, from the Phillipines. Well, I say friend. She treats me like I'm someone famous and unusual, like "Wow, I'm in the presence of the Kali Ravel?!". She's young, and wants children, which means they're well suited. She even looks a little like me.
He says he's going to change, but he's vague as to how. He hasn't taken any steps towards getting a job yet. I honestly think that he's going to make the same mistakes; when she's a little older, she'll realise that he has nothing to offer her, that they can't build a life together. And then, he'll blame her for that, and say she never gave him a chance.
Maybe I'm just hurt by losing my safety net.
He's right in some things. We could have worked together, apart from the whole children and other-side-of-the-world and jobless alcoholic issues. Physically, he's my type, and he's a sports fan. I always kind of wanted a sports fan. I like the idea of someone who gets really into something, and is happy to watch it while I read a book, and cheer the score every so often. I think that's adorable.
But then, you can't be with someone in the hope that they'll change into someone you like better, even if that's what they want.