Crossing Over, Jameson Suiter Style
Not once, but twice tonight, an interesting issue came up. That is, at what point do Internet friends "crossover" to real friends? Somehow, I'm guessing that guys and girls have totally different answers to this, but remain consistant within the genders.
The first time this came up was when I sent an email to everyone in my address book to fill out an online thing which not only asked for your email address and name, but also asked for a physical address and phone numbers. In the email I sent, I told everyone to fill in as much as they deemed appropriate, given our relationship (or lack, thereof). To my surprise, the only one who has responded to me was Reneé. Reneé is a lovely young woman I met within the last year (April, maybe) who we and her friend went out and shot pool. I would have to say that on that little "outing" I was probably on my best behavior; I wasn't hitting on her, nor was I "checking her out" the whole. Rather, I was just enjoying going out and playing pool. After that night, we didn't really talk again until about October, when I had made plans to hang out with her again. This time, the plans fell through, and I felt stood up, since it wasn't until I went to bed that night that I realized we weren't hanging out. I haven't talked to her since then...until tonight. She promised that tomorrow, she would call me. Whether that actually happens remains to be seen, however, it's just kinda weird. Say she does call me? What next? Do I ask her to hang out, go on a date? What?
The second incident I had tonight was when I was talking to Emily from Iowa. Now granted, we probably will never meet, but she did give me her phone number a few months ago. When I attempted to call it, she didn't answer and I left a voicemail. Just last month, she gave me her mailing address so I could send her a Christmas card. Tonight I asked her why she's never called me. She starting talking about keeping an online and "real" life separate. I explained to her that I thought we had already broken the boundry not only when she gave me her number, but the fact that we've both touched the same (real, physical) objects (the Christmas card).
Then there's the case of Lauren, whom I've known online longer than she's known her fianceé. For almost two years now I've been trying to talk her into meeting me. Finally, I saw the chance. She recently moved with her boyfriend to an apartment complex here in Madison Heights. Of course I didn't try to meet her at home, but I did go up to her work. Of course, not knowing how she would take it, I didn't aknowledge the fact of who I was and I figured that maybe she'd introduce herself to me. Didn't work. I left the store with her being the employee and me being the annoying customer who (pretends to) looks, but doesn't buy. Later, online, she totally flips out about it, and says that if I want friends that badly, she'll give my number to her bf. Before I even had the chance to say "What the Fuck?" he's calling me. To make a longer story not that long, I talked to him once and haven't since. I'm forbidden to discuss meeting in person with Lauren, for fear that she won't talk to me at all.
In summation, looking at all three of these situations, I ask again: At what point does the online thing crossover into the "real" world?
The first time this came up was when I sent an email to everyone in my address book to fill out an online thing which not only asked for your email address and name, but also asked for a physical address and phone numbers. In the email I sent, I told everyone to fill in as much as they deemed appropriate, given our relationship (or lack, thereof). To my surprise, the only one who has responded to me was Reneé. Reneé is a lovely young woman I met within the last year (April, maybe) who we and her friend went out and shot pool. I would have to say that on that little "outing" I was probably on my best behavior; I wasn't hitting on her, nor was I "checking her out" the whole. Rather, I was just enjoying going out and playing pool. After that night, we didn't really talk again until about October, when I had made plans to hang out with her again. This time, the plans fell through, and I felt stood up, since it wasn't until I went to bed that night that I realized we weren't hanging out. I haven't talked to her since then...until tonight. She promised that tomorrow, she would call me. Whether that actually happens remains to be seen, however, it's just kinda weird. Say she does call me? What next? Do I ask her to hang out, go on a date? What?
The second incident I had tonight was when I was talking to Emily from Iowa. Now granted, we probably will never meet, but she did give me her phone number a few months ago. When I attempted to call it, she didn't answer and I left a voicemail. Just last month, she gave me her mailing address so I could send her a Christmas card. Tonight I asked her why she's never called me. She starting talking about keeping an online and "real" life separate. I explained to her that I thought we had already broken the boundry not only when she gave me her number, but the fact that we've both touched the same (real, physical) objects (the Christmas card).
Then there's the case of Lauren, whom I've known online longer than she's known her fianceé. For almost two years now I've been trying to talk her into meeting me. Finally, I saw the chance. She recently moved with her boyfriend to an apartment complex here in Madison Heights. Of course I didn't try to meet her at home, but I did go up to her work. Of course, not knowing how she would take it, I didn't aknowledge the fact of who I was and I figured that maybe she'd introduce herself to me. Didn't work. I left the store with her being the employee and me being the annoying customer who (pretends to) looks, but doesn't buy. Later, online, she totally flips out about it, and says that if I want friends that badly, she'll give my number to her bf. Before I even had the chance to say "What the Fuck?" he's calling me. To make a longer story not that long, I talked to him once and haven't since. I'm forbidden to discuss meeting in person with Lauren, for fear that she won't talk to me at all.
In summation, looking at all three of these situations, I ask again: At what point does the online thing crossover into the "real" world?