Anxiety
Tired. Long day. Gone over 13 hours.
Was looking forward to coming home to peace and quiet. The neighbor moaned. Again. It's getting hard to take. I need my rest.
I can't just find another place to live, because places are picky about declawing your cat. I won't do that, as it is torture and cruelty.
I guess some people really care about their screens....
Earplugs just don't work for me. I hear the ocean or something (but not in a relaxing way, like an eerie silence with one strange noise in the background) and muffled noises from real life. And they fucking hurt my ears.
I've talked to the landlords about this issue. They are going to try to find a way to bring it up to him, but it's pretty awkward. "Your moaning keeps your neighbor awake at night."
I can't sleep with loud music or the tv.
Headphones aren't really an option, because if I lean on them, it often adds tension to the jaws and I have bad jaws (possibly arthritic.)
I have a fan on. Full blast. It still doesn't drown out the noise.
My panic attack is starting to subside a little. Breathing is slightly easier. Chest isn't pounding so loudly.
I'm still very exhausted.
It snowed today. I didn't see a lot of natural light. I should get a light box. A good light box.
But I cannot afford it. I guess I'll add it to my wishlist.
I also need to start managing my scoliosis again. It's really starting to take its toll.
I blocked a coworker today. He thinks it's funny to antagonize people, especially when they are already fragile/stressed. I don't have time for that.
He may soon discover that I am not the only person who feels this way. It's okay to disagree with people, but when these disagreements bring about nothing but fruitless "discussions," it starts to feel like, not only did he waste your time, but he took away minutes of your life you can never get back.
Sometimes I just wanted to sit on the couch by my office and eat a snack, but he just had to bring up something inflammatory.
It's sad. I want to try to be friends with people, but sometimes people are toxic. I've done what I can. I try to remain friendly, but don't go out of my way to contact this person.
Today was a very intense day. Lots of stuff going on. I went to a pest management conference and met with some of the speakers. It was a great learning and networking experience, but I was just so tired at the end of the day.
I kind of feel like puking. I hope the clonazepam kicks in soon. I need some rest and I am too exhausted to sleep. I will also continue the controlled breathing and try to work on my jaw relaxation techniques.
Here is also to hoping I have no nightmares. Because nightmares = less restful sleep.
Was looking forward to coming home to peace and quiet. The neighbor moaned. Again. It's getting hard to take. I need my rest.
I can't just find another place to live, because places are picky about declawing your cat. I won't do that, as it is torture and cruelty.
I guess some people really care about their screens....
Earplugs just don't work for me. I hear the ocean or something (but not in a relaxing way, like an eerie silence with one strange noise in the background) and muffled noises from real life. And they fucking hurt my ears.
I've talked to the landlords about this issue. They are going to try to find a way to bring it up to him, but it's pretty awkward. "Your moaning keeps your neighbor awake at night."
I can't sleep with loud music or the tv.
Headphones aren't really an option, because if I lean on them, it often adds tension to the jaws and I have bad jaws (possibly arthritic.)
I have a fan on. Full blast. It still doesn't drown out the noise.
My panic attack is starting to subside a little. Breathing is slightly easier. Chest isn't pounding so loudly.
I'm still very exhausted.
It snowed today. I didn't see a lot of natural light. I should get a light box. A good light box.
But I cannot afford it. I guess I'll add it to my wishlist.
I also need to start managing my scoliosis again. It's really starting to take its toll.
I blocked a coworker today. He thinks it's funny to antagonize people, especially when they are already fragile/stressed. I don't have time for that.
He may soon discover that I am not the only person who feels this way. It's okay to disagree with people, but when these disagreements bring about nothing but fruitless "discussions," it starts to feel like, not only did he waste your time, but he took away minutes of your life you can never get back.
Sometimes I just wanted to sit on the couch by my office and eat a snack, but he just had to bring up something inflammatory.
It's sad. I want to try to be friends with people, but sometimes people are toxic. I've done what I can. I try to remain friendly, but don't go out of my way to contact this person.
Today was a very intense day. Lots of stuff going on. I went to a pest management conference and met with some of the speakers. It was a great learning and networking experience, but I was just so tired at the end of the day.
I kind of feel like puking. I hope the clonazepam kicks in soon. I need some rest and I am too exhausted to sleep. I will also continue the controlled breathing and try to work on my jaw relaxation techniques.
Here is also to hoping I have no nightmares. Because nightmares = less restful sleep.