Yesterday and last night and this morning
I had my first DBT group meeting yesterday (skills lessons and stuff). It was weird.
I don't know how I feel about it. I feel in some ways it will be beneficial, but in other ways, it's either obvious or a little woo-y.
I'm not sure how to explain it.
I had a really bad night sleeping last night. First the man who lives above me was moaning. He either masturbates a lot or has a sleeping disorder. Either way, my fan doesn't drown it out. I could use some kind of noise canceler.
Then, after a few hours of sleep, I was awoken by a drunk dial, which I ignored. They kept calling. Then it stopped. Then about 45 minutes later, when I was finally falling back asleep (about 2:30ish), they did it again. I got so frustrated that I turned my phone to airplane mode. (I need it on for the alarm.)
Then, after falling asleep again, I had a nightmare. A bad one. With mean, cliquey girls, and everybody was so angry with me and taunting and teasing and bullying me.
I woke up a little before 6:30, feeling very anxious. I wanted to cry but couldn't. I want to to cut but didn't. Then my alarm went off. I didn't want to move. About an hour (and no sleep) later, I finally got out of bed and got ready, but I didn't have the energy to shower. Oh well if I stink.
I have a lab quiz today. I think I'm ready. I hope.
Today got off to a bad start. I want love and comfort, but I also want to be alone. Talk about ambivalent.
I'm in the beginning stage of a crisis, so I'm very sensitive right now. I'm trying to nip it in the bud so it doesn't reach any more crisis-ish-ness.
I miss my mom.
I don't know how I feel about it. I feel in some ways it will be beneficial, but in other ways, it's either obvious or a little woo-y.
I'm not sure how to explain it.
I had a really bad night sleeping last night. First the man who lives above me was moaning. He either masturbates a lot or has a sleeping disorder. Either way, my fan doesn't drown it out. I could use some kind of noise canceler.
Then, after a few hours of sleep, I was awoken by a drunk dial, which I ignored. They kept calling. Then it stopped. Then about 45 minutes later, when I was finally falling back asleep (about 2:30ish), they did it again. I got so frustrated that I turned my phone to airplane mode. (I need it on for the alarm.)
Then, after falling asleep again, I had a nightmare. A bad one. With mean, cliquey girls, and everybody was so angry with me and taunting and teasing and bullying me.
I woke up a little before 6:30, feeling very anxious. I wanted to cry but couldn't. I want to to cut but didn't. Then my alarm went off. I didn't want to move. About an hour (and no sleep) later, I finally got out of bed and got ready, but I didn't have the energy to shower. Oh well if I stink.
I have a lab quiz today. I think I'm ready. I hope.
Today got off to a bad start. I want love and comfort, but I also want to be alone. Talk about ambivalent.
I'm in the beginning stage of a crisis, so I'm very sensitive right now. I'm trying to nip it in the bud so it doesn't reach any more crisis-ish-ness.
I miss my mom.