general pet peeve rant/my crazy is showing
I was raised to believe/realize/understand that too much of my presence is undesirable and to be avoided at all costs. My mother was always very emphatic in explaining to me that there is a time threshold in human interaction and once I passed it, the people I cared for would no longer tolerate me, and she was careful to ensure that I observed this threshold in my time with friends when I was young.
I have also learned throughout my life from various outlets that I'm too verbose, too loud, too hyper, too much. My mother, father and brother, the people who've had the most interactions with me in my life, have told me on countless occasions how selfish and unpleasant I am/can be.
So I always bristle when people talk to me about "when" I'll get married and have children. As though finding this mythical perfect-for-me man (henceforth known as my unicorn) is a given to be automatically followed by offspring to whom I will inexplicably find myself unconditionally attached.
Because even if I did find this unicorn and even if I did love him and even if we did have children and even if I did love them -- none of which are even close to guaranteed -- am I really so selfish and unpleasant that I would inflict myself on people that I care about forever?
I have also learned throughout my life from various outlets that I'm too verbose, too loud, too hyper, too much. My mother, father and brother, the people who've had the most interactions with me in my life, have told me on countless occasions how selfish and unpleasant I am/can be.
So I always bristle when people talk to me about "when" I'll get married and have children. As though finding this mythical perfect-for-me man (henceforth known as my unicorn) is a given to be automatically followed by offspring to whom I will inexplicably find myself unconditionally attached.
Because even if I did find this unicorn and even if I did love him and even if we did have children and even if I did love them -- none of which are even close to guaranteed -- am I really so selfish and unpleasant that I would inflict myself on people that I care about forever?