Harry Potter- Just the Facts- G
TITLE: Just the Facts
AUTHOR: comedownstairs
FANDOM: Harry Potter
DISCLAMER: Not me. They belong to JKR. I am not that kind of fangirl.
RATING: G
CATEGORY: Fluff, humor.
SPOILERS: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I blame spoonishly. God damn do I miss Rita Skeeter.
The doorbell rang with a pleasant, almost perky-sounding chime, which would have elicited at least a frown from a lesser caller. The woman at the door didn't even blink, waiting patiently for the door to open.
That's because when the door was opened, this gave her the perfect opportunity to breeze into the room and announce, "The name's Rita Skeeter, I've been asked to interview you for The Quibbler."
Chalk that up to things Rita never ever thought she would say.
The woman who owned the house amazingly didn't lose her temper. "The polite thing to do would be to introduce yourself before barging into my home."
"Yes, yes, I'm sure, but we all have busy schedules," Rita told her, and looking at the woman appraisingly, said, "At least some of us do."
"I don't believe I agreed to an interview."
Rita was already busy opening up her handbag, letting loose the Quick Quotes Quill. She had missed that thing, she truly had. Taking a seat on the too-cushy sofa wrapped in a plastic slipcover, she ignored the words and the testy "hem hem" and said, "So Miss Umbridge, what have you been up to since your tenure at Hogwarts ended?"
Delores clearly was remaining calm under force of will alone, but Rita was sure she could see her mouth twitch unpleasantly. "I am asking kindly for you to leave," she said.
Delores Umbridge, 72, has gone through a period of great suffering. She's aged prematurely, undoubtedly due to the stress involved in the widespread cover-up following the return of You-Know-Who and being outsmarted by a sometimes delusional twelve-year-old boy.
"Yes, of course," Rita nodded, ignoring that. "Have you been very busy, dear? I'm sure it must have taken you some time to get back on your feet, what with Cornelius Fudge... leaving the Ministry."
Delores' pudgy jaw set, and she replied, "I don't see how it's any of your business, but I haven't had a problem at all."
Rita took a pointed look around the room, with its pink and the kitten plates. "Oh, of course not. Representatives at St. Mungo's said they fully expected you to be back on your feet in no time."
That caused Delores' eye to twitch again, and she closed her front door, looking around quickly first, as if making sure no one would try and sneak up on her.
It's been very hard for her, these past few weeks. Since being released from St. Mungo's for an unexplained ailment that this reporter fully believes to be some sort of exhaustion or possibly psychotic episode, she's busied herself with tasteless craft projects, now displayed around her home. They are a lone source of pride in all the disgrace, and her eyes shine bright with unshed tears when she speaks of the suffering she goes through every day.
"What are you writing?" Delores asked, pointing at the quill.
"Just pretend it's not even there," Rita assured her. "Have you spoken with Mr. Fudge at all since the, erm, incident?"
"That's really a personal matter-"
She's also very secretive when it comes to the matter of her relationship with one Cornelius Fudge, former Minister of Magic. It can be presumed that her position as the Hogwarts High Inquisitor was the result of a relationship between the two that has no doubt fizzled since their careers ended.
"-and I've asked nicely," said Delores. "I would like you to leave my home now or I shall be forced to take action. Why is that quill still writing?"
She's become prone to fits of anger, no doubt from frustration at her impotence as Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which is highly regarded as a failure and a mockery of the position.
"Ignore it, it's just scenery," Rita encouraged. "Now, Miss Umbridge, do you-"
"I tried to be reasonable," Delores said in a clipped tone, and walked over to try and snatch the quill out of the air.
Rita stood, as if putting herself between Delores and her story. "I would appreciate if you kept your hands off of my property."
"I would appreciate if you would behave like a civilized person," Delores countered.
When confronted with anything but a positive view on her actions, she reacts with anger and violence-
Delores tried again to make a grab for the quill. Rita reached it first, holding it in her long fingers and keeping it out of her grasp. Delores reacted by trying to slap it out of her hand.
"Now, Miss Umbridge," Rita said, jaw dropped and brow furrowing, "is that any way to treat a guest in your home?"
"You aren't a guest, you are simply an uninvited pest, and I would like you to leave now," Delores said, her girlish voice tinged with something that sounded to Rita like maniacal rage.
"If you're going to be this uncooperative, maybe I'm better off getting my story from other sources," Rita said. She was sure she could find them. After that story on Harry Potter, she was sure the teenagers at the school would come flocking to talk about their former teacher/administrator/Ministry worker.
"Maybe you'd be better off not getting the story at all."
Rita smiled sharply. "I'm a public servant, giving the people what they want," she said, letting the quill settle back in her handbag for the time being. Her heels clicked heavily on the floor as she walked herself to the door, and when she turned to open it, she was sure she saw Delores looking around frantically. "Good day, Miss Umbridge," Rita said, and let herself out. Unlike some people, she knew how to make an exit as well as an entrance.
It was good to be back.
AUTHOR: comedownstairs
FANDOM: Harry Potter
DISCLAMER: Not me. They belong to JKR. I am not that kind of fangirl.
RATING: G
CATEGORY: Fluff, humor.
SPOILERS: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I blame spoonishly. God damn do I miss Rita Skeeter.
The doorbell rang with a pleasant, almost perky-sounding chime, which would have elicited at least a frown from a lesser caller. The woman at the door didn't even blink, waiting patiently for the door to open.
That's because when the door was opened, this gave her the perfect opportunity to breeze into the room and announce, "The name's Rita Skeeter, I've been asked to interview you for The Quibbler."
Chalk that up to things Rita never ever thought she would say.
The woman who owned the house amazingly didn't lose her temper. "The polite thing to do would be to introduce yourself before barging into my home."
"Yes, yes, I'm sure, but we all have busy schedules," Rita told her, and looking at the woman appraisingly, said, "At least some of us do."
"I don't believe I agreed to an interview."
Rita was already busy opening up her handbag, letting loose the Quick Quotes Quill. She had missed that thing, she truly had. Taking a seat on the too-cushy sofa wrapped in a plastic slipcover, she ignored the words and the testy "hem hem" and said, "So Miss Umbridge, what have you been up to since your tenure at Hogwarts ended?"
Delores clearly was remaining calm under force of will alone, but Rita was sure she could see her mouth twitch unpleasantly. "I am asking kindly for you to leave," she said.
Delores Umbridge, 72, has gone through a period of great suffering. She's aged prematurely, undoubtedly due to the stress involved in the widespread cover-up following the return of You-Know-Who and being outsmarted by a sometimes delusional twelve-year-old boy.
"Yes, of course," Rita nodded, ignoring that. "Have you been very busy, dear? I'm sure it must have taken you some time to get back on your feet, what with Cornelius Fudge... leaving the Ministry."
Delores' pudgy jaw set, and she replied, "I don't see how it's any of your business, but I haven't had a problem at all."
Rita took a pointed look around the room, with its pink and the kitten plates. "Oh, of course not. Representatives at St. Mungo's said they fully expected you to be back on your feet in no time."
That caused Delores' eye to twitch again, and she closed her front door, looking around quickly first, as if making sure no one would try and sneak up on her.
It's been very hard for her, these past few weeks. Since being released from St. Mungo's for an unexplained ailment that this reporter fully believes to be some sort of exhaustion or possibly psychotic episode, she's busied herself with tasteless craft projects, now displayed around her home. They are a lone source of pride in all the disgrace, and her eyes shine bright with unshed tears when she speaks of the suffering she goes through every day.
"What are you writing?" Delores asked, pointing at the quill.
"Just pretend it's not even there," Rita assured her. "Have you spoken with Mr. Fudge at all since the, erm, incident?"
"That's really a personal matter-"
She's also very secretive when it comes to the matter of her relationship with one Cornelius Fudge, former Minister of Magic. It can be presumed that her position as the Hogwarts High Inquisitor was the result of a relationship between the two that has no doubt fizzled since their careers ended.
"-and I've asked nicely," said Delores. "I would like you to leave my home now or I shall be forced to take action. Why is that quill still writing?"
She's become prone to fits of anger, no doubt from frustration at her impotence as Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which is highly regarded as a failure and a mockery of the position.
"Ignore it, it's just scenery," Rita encouraged. "Now, Miss Umbridge, do you-"
"I tried to be reasonable," Delores said in a clipped tone, and walked over to try and snatch the quill out of the air.
Rita stood, as if putting herself between Delores and her story. "I would appreciate if you kept your hands off of my property."
"I would appreciate if you would behave like a civilized person," Delores countered.
When confronted with anything but a positive view on her actions, she reacts with anger and violence-
Delores tried again to make a grab for the quill. Rita reached it first, holding it in her long fingers and keeping it out of her grasp. Delores reacted by trying to slap it out of her hand.
"Now, Miss Umbridge," Rita said, jaw dropped and brow furrowing, "is that any way to treat a guest in your home?"
"You aren't a guest, you are simply an uninvited pest, and I would like you to leave now," Delores said, her girlish voice tinged with something that sounded to Rita like maniacal rage.
"If you're going to be this uncooperative, maybe I'm better off getting my story from other sources," Rita said. She was sure she could find them. After that story on Harry Potter, she was sure the teenagers at the school would come flocking to talk about their former teacher/administrator/Ministry worker.
"Maybe you'd be better off not getting the story at all."
Rita smiled sharply. "I'm a public servant, giving the people what they want," she said, letting the quill settle back in her handbag for the time being. Her heels clicked heavily on the floor as she walked herself to the door, and when she turned to open it, she was sure she saw Delores looking around frantically. "Good day, Miss Umbridge," Rita said, and let herself out. Unlike some people, she knew how to make an exit as well as an entrance.
It was good to be back.