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[jackiezzz00]

I love my friends! You guys make me soo happy! and GAHH! paintballing was so much fun! but i have a lot of bruises =(

I like you* haha if it were only that easy.. lol

the fortune cookie told me to tell that special someone something but the fortune wasn't really mine..so? chhicken GOAAT!

umm Jeah.?!?..

im tired

Halloween? what should i be for

Comments

Ive done my part

[littlecryingboi]

This is exactly why I always went into those emotional crisis moments. Because things like this happen and it makes me sick. If you took more time to talk to me... which you never have (admit it, you never talk to me and if you do its biefly to tell me about your day). You'd know I dont believe in apologies, and even with that in mind I apoligized publicly in a few entries for my behavior several times before which is the best anyone can get from me. Oh and.. I always mentioned you in journals and stuff in the times we havent talked, I even remember you even commented saying how its nice I still think about you even when we hadnt done much together or talked at that point. As far as the obligated friend goes, maybe in the beggining we were all equal but somewhere around the middle you just cast off and didnt seem to look like you gave a damn about anything concerning me. Even more so when things between me and Jana got started. Even if you did, it was that convincing cuz you always had this like "shield" against me as if you didnt want me there. Again, maybe you did but it was that convincing to me. and this went on to the point where you just decided not to hang out with me and Jana anymore all together. It makes perfect sense. If thats innaccurate in anyway its only because you never said a word about anything of the matter and so whos to say its not what it looks like.. because thats what it looks like. I dont mean to say hurtfull things but I strongly believe the people someones with, influence them as a person. and everything I said makes sense when you consider your friends are Sven and his posse who were complete assholes to me then just walked away as if I didnt exist. I see you walking away the same manner as if I dont exist. I cant voice my opinion .. no .. my beliefs.. in any a nicer way because I believe anyone who surrounds themselves with such disrespectful and backstabbing people - is not doing something right. Everyone knows why I hate them, and everyone knows I hate them with good and just reason. So for anyone as cool and nice as you to hang out with them. It just doesnt make any sense to me. If that bothers you then so be it because im pretty sure theres alot to me that bothers even you. what more can I say? I've done my part since day one with everyone I meet and from day one everyone should know what my part is. If they dont.. then this happens, or even worse. If its an apology you want. I wont apologize for being hurt, and misinformed as it appears. Though I appreciate and recognize the effort to say something.

Re: Ive done my part

[jackiezzz00]

but you never try starting up a nice conversation with me. at least i, every now and then, ask you how you are, and whats up. you never ever talk to me, you dont even smile let alone say hi to me in the hallways at school, why?
I havent done anything to you. I never had a "shield" or whatever the fuck your talking about. you were my best friend. and I still dont see how you can sit here and tell me how i wasnt your friend, or that i was only your friend because of jana. which is SO not true.
This may sound corny but dont you remember the good times we had? does all of it really mean nothing to you? because if it does, then damn..why didnt you just tell me from the begining all of this, maybe then i wouldnt have wasted all my time and friendship on you. i couldve used it elsewhere.
but believe it or not, Im glad your happy with jana. treat her good, cause she's a really good person.
its so odd how im here giving you my good blessings when you dont even give a damn if Im happy or not. which I am. My "stupid" friends are great, and i love them, and im sorry about you being mad at them and all, but dont take it out on me. k?
later

Re: Ive done my part

[littlecryingboi]

I dont start things. You can ask even Jana.. I NEVER call her, NEVER IM her, NEVER E-mail her.. I never start anything, even a conversation. I only respond and reply when people talk to me, call me, IM me, e-mail me ect.. Its just the way I am. I do remember the good times and I never said they meant nothing. I even sleep in the shirt you and Jana made me at the fair and its always meant alot but wether you see it or not there has always been a distance between you and me and I've always noticed that its a gap thats become bigger and bigger. I am actually glad youve been having fun and have been really happy, the only dissapointment is that its with (in my opinnion and belief) a bunch of losers. Just because I say so doesnt mean im taking it out on you or that its even my intention to so I'll apologize if you see it that way. I know im an asshole when it comes to people like them because they deserve every drop of rage and anger I have, you just get cought in the crossfire sometimes and im sorry that happens, but I wont stop until they get what they deserve because if God or "Kharma" wont strike the down, then I sure as hell will. I dont know what more to say and I've got to get going to school anyway so maybe i'll talk to you later.