DJ Tanner...JC Chasez...KT Tunstall...RV starring Jojo...
Alright now...HI HI!
I know...I know. I'm SO far behind on posting and I haven't done an entry in over a month...I should be tied to a tree and burnt with lit cigarettes (Ok...disturbing...)
This is the FINAL entry from Summer 2006! Both a happy and sad occassion...happy because I don't have to post anymore summer pics and sad because...well we all looked so good in summertime with our tans, whereas now it's Pale Albino Tranny action going on.
Without further delay, I now present to you...THE CLOSING EVENTS OF SUMMER '06.
EVENT #1: Dinner with Gavstar and Juju at Ric's Bar & Grill
So one night we decided to go out for dinner...and an expensive one at that! Ric's Bar & Grill is slightly overpriced...but the food was good so HEVAR!
This was taken right after we were making fun of the melancholy/emo hostess, who, unknown to us, was conveniently cleaning the table right next to us...a little awk.
Big and Tall
EVENT #2: Cocktails at the Gill Household
Melissa and I had to go sell our textbooks back to UVic...little did I know that in that bag, Melissa also had the fingers of 5 first-born children from around Victoria which she would later lay around UVic in order to claim her territory.
That night, we all randomly decided that, instead of going out, we should make cocktails at home! A trip to the liquor store later, we were all prepped and ready to begin our night of drinking!
Indigo Carmen was ready to drink!
Ji with her appetizing drink
Kitchen Team
This is how we make drinks...
In a pot. Oh so classy.
Alcohol goes in, "I think I'm a HOT BITCH"-poses come out
You gone and lost yo motha fuckin mind boy!
T to the A to the S-T-E-Y, boy you TASTEY!
GAHOO! It's ANDRE!
Fuzzy made an appearance...
Melissa just thought of the child she murdered yesterday and how she snapped the little one's neck.
The cocktails weren't doing the trick fast enough so, knowing my classy friends, we decided to take shots to quicken the pace!
Justin...stop attacking people with your camera...nobody likes you.
Cherry Chun and "I think I'm a Hot Bitch" Gavstar
Disheveled Cherry and Rotund Olive
Highlight of the night: Julie asking for water and getting water mixed with a shot of vodka...a few sips later..."WHAT THE HELL IS IN HERE!"
Thanks...but no thanks.
EVENT #3: Dinner at McMorran's
One night we decided to hit up McMorran's for a classy dinner...little did we know that we would be the only people there under the age of 194.
The view from the restaurant is splendid! (Please imagine me typing that with my lips pursed and sitting completely upright...because that's how I did it...now you can scream.)
Satan stereotypically ordered a Blood Red cocktail
The Fuzzball showed up to break bread with us.
Me, Mosa, Gavaa, and Jiye...gang's all here!
The Kills...deceptively sweet to everybody they meet when, in fact, they are World-renowned and much-sought-after assassins.
Husky Gavin and his Asian Bitches
EVENT #4: Natalia's Homecoming at Irish Times
So after Natalia had been M.I.A. for about 2 months while she hopped, skipped, and jumped her way through Banff (sp?) and Richmond, we were completely ready for the Polish sensation to make her way back into our lives! After all...what are we without a Russian Gymnastics Tranny?
Before we had our big reunion, we popped over to Mosa's to make some cookies...Fuzzy was a little concerned about how to accomplish our task...
Lol @ the TWO Robots watches...SO Melissa.
After realizing we lacked a few ingredients (aka basically ALL of them), our "LET'S BAKE COOKIES!" idea turned into...
So typical.
We made our way back to the Ko Manor...where Jennifer Ko (Mosa's momma) used Gavin as her doll and dressed him up to amuse us all...
We then proceeded to Poland's house, where neverending hugs and yells of glee were experienced, followed by a very scary drive to downtown. Why was it scary? Oh...maybe because we went through a roadblock and Melissa didn't have her "N" up and I had 2 passengers in my car. But 28 heartattacks later, they didn't even stop us as we went through and just waved us by...let's just say we all shat our pants 10 times over...you'd think we'd have learned our lesson about following the "N" rules eh? Umm...no.
So we hit up Irish Times for some Welcome Home drinks!
We missed this face:
Klink!
Tomi has episodes of "Barbaric Burst"...here's one of them:
At Irish times, there's a great diversity of people...including...
Oriental folk:
Dippers:
And even Cavemen:
There you go Irish Times...I just wrote your new ad campaign.
Two cameras were taking this picture at once...I was the only camwhore quick enough to catch BOTH lenses...is that a good or bad thing?
We were all quite relieved that there was no sense of Jealousy present during this fine evening due to a lack of Elussabutch...when all of a sudden we were introduced to an equally shameful public display of emotion...
Julie...watch your back.
E.T. The Extraterrestrial and Some Brown Guy with his nose pressed up against glass
Cherry's cut off.
Group picture time!
Fave:
BAM! BAM! It's PRIYA AND JUSTIN IN YOUR LIFE!
Oh...and we definitely got jiggy with it.
We were in the middle of a bunch of Irish people hopping around...one of whom just LOVED Melissa and kept trying to make her dance.
One look at this face, and we knew it was TIME TO GO.
So best moment ever: There are a bunch of homeless people lying in front of Breeze looking cracked out and grumpy, when a skinny, glamorous, polo-shirt wearing Prep comes up and screams "OH MY GOD, 50% OFF!!!!!" right in their faces.
PRICELESS.
Melissa! What are you doing.
And again! What are you doing up there?!
Uh oh...she's not happy about those comments...
Everybody run! Merely looking into her eyes will cause you to burst into excruciatingly painful flames!
Oh no...that SLUT is back again!
And just as she tortured us last summer with her impossible shoestrings...
That hooker repeated history with her new summertime slut shoes...
Gavin is the only one DEAD ON in this picture. I commend you Gavstar.
EVENT #5: Mosa's Farewell at Darcy's
Since Mosmie was leaving on a cruise, we decided to get one last look at that Fuzzy face at Darcy's!
Beer Buddies
Since Gavin wasn't in the last picture, he got a sympathy puc:
Kill Extravaganza!
Luss Bus, G Duff and Master Ko
One guess as to who looks cross-eyed and demented in this picture...
Yep, you got it.
Betty and James...so nice to see them being civil to each other again after that awful divorce in which James was repeatedly abused and set on fire...
We decided to paint the town red! And downtown was PUMPIN!
Oh Gelato!
This was taken right after Melissa walked straight into the fire hydrant...sucks to be you Mosmie.
Remember Melissa's ad for her new store called "Master Ko's Little Shop of Horrors"?
She decided to reinvent the campaign and use a new ad...
Please note that she provides...
and...
Yes...Melissa has cleverly disguised her shop as a photography store when, in fact, it is actually a location for shooting her Child Pornography videos.
Do you also remember that Busty Hooker we met at Grad Dinner last summer? Let me refresh your memory...
We ran into her athletic sister...God, this family just can't keep their legs together!
GOOD TIMES AT NAUTICAL NELLIE'S!
EVENT #6: Gavin and Justin Go to Vancouver!
One day Gavin and I realized that we both had 3 days off in a row! So what did we do? SAIL THE HIGH SEAS, THAT'S WHAT! All the way to SUNNY...Vancouver. It was a fun little trip! We spent a lot of time with my sisters and saw our beloved ARSHIA FARHANGI BU BU BU!
On the ferry ride, Gavin and I made the wild mistake of trying WAY too hard to recreate this classic and infectious picture of the Ape himself:
"Alright! I can do this! Bring it on!"
Yeah...it didn't go over as well as planned...
A second attempt just mauled it.
Disappointed.
The first night, we went over to Sabrina's house for dinner, where her pseudo-friends who were visiting from Alberta were also in attendance...they were basically pervy, over-the-hill, we-think-we're-20 women who would NOT let Gavin go without a piece of spongecake (Gavin was INFURIATED at the bitch who kept stealing his plate of ice cream).
The next day, Gavaa and I had some time to kill before we PWNED Playland, so we decided to...
Pose with Amman and Donny's humble abode...
And went and got coffee from an abandoned little coffee shop that was DESPERATELY trying to be Blenz. We showed off our battle wounds from the night before...we like to express our anger in a calm, mature manner...
We then met up with the lovely Miss ARSHIA FARHANGI and her friend Sarah!
The wooden rollercoaster owns every other ride in that place, hands down.
We made some reckless decisions and went on some intensely spinny rides...this was a poor choice...
Blondie thinks she belongs.
Sorry bitch, peace out.
Gavin, why you lookin so puzzled?
Oh...that's why.
A brown woman with a bob playing bumper cars...the only thing better would be Gavin and I in Gwenwigs doing hurdles.
Ok...so a black man with cornrows (who we labeled "Brandy") cut in front of us in line...and that bitch definitely got what was coming to him in bumper cars. We thought we were all just kinda joking about it and having fun...
...when Gavin caught a glimpse of Arshia during bumper cars and saw a look of DISDAIN and HATRED on her face as Brandy passed her on the right...looks like one of us really had it out for the guy!
I'm pretty sure we played bumper cars about 25 times...each time targeting a new victim for us all to gang-rape...the best was a fat little chinese girl. That bitch didn't know where Browntown came from!
We were excited for the wet log ride! (even though it was kinda chilly outside...)
"Ain't no thang..."
Gavin kept himself occupied while waiting...
"Yeah, alright! GRAFFITI! WOOO!"
These were dangerously taken just as we were leaving the entrance to the ride...and right after they were snapped, Gavin and I both caught a glimpse of a teenage fatty patty sitting in front of a skinny little girl going down the other side of the roller coaster and skinny minny getting a FACE-FULLY of patty's hair...it was to-die-for funny.
Sarah shottied the front without thinking...and ended up soaking from head-to-toe...HA!
Second shot at the wooden roller coaster:
I love this picture! Note the look of fear on Gavin's face about us dropping the camera, haha!
Chick behind me is NOT having a good time.
EVENT #7: Sooke Potholes with Natalia/Dinner at Earl's
So one day when it was pretty hot, I ventured up to Sooke Potholes with my bitch...
...and my ho...
Jane and Joan go to the beach:
Little Miss Sunshine
Little Miss Dumpy
Natalia's got some smarmy action goin on here!
Flossy flossy glamorous
As you can see by Gavin's face, he is mentally challenged, and as you can see by Natalia's face, we are facing imminent doom...
Neither is true (well...Gavin's is kinda true...) but Natalia actually thought the rocks were collapsing in on us. Her reaction?
Better!
Immediately following an exit from the water, Natalia said "Oh God, if I slipped and broke my ankle, I'd kill everyone and die"...just as she said it, the rock she was on teetered out of place and we witnessed the most prolonged (and graceful) fall of a lifetime on to a big pile of our bags...it was SO slow and tedious, I just wanted to push her to get it over with!
We found an ape eating all our food!
I then scared him off by popping copious amounts of balloons.
Natalia didn't get the memo about being glam.
Neither did the chip bag.
After seeing a red spider, we decided to book it outta there...
"Get out of my house!"
This is why, one day, we will get in an accident:
Please note, in the first picture, the head-on collision about to be experienced.
While we were busy chatting away, Gavin nailed it...twice.
A+
We then made our way over to Earl's for dinner with the friends, where our waiter was on E and we exhibited a disturbing amount of fug faces in order to tell stories.
Gavin spies with his little eye something that is adorable, while Jess doesn't get the memo.
EVENT #8: Lunch at Japanese Village/Bon Voyage Liz
Due to our intense summer obsession (that has now turned into a lifetime obsession) with Japanese Village, Gavin and I forced the friends into going, and I don't think they were disappointed!
After lunch, we all said a sad goodbye to our beloved Luss Uss...but perhaps the most painful parting to witness was this one:
Heartbreaking.
EVENT #9: Sticky Wicket with Amman and Donny
One night when Amman and Donny were in town, we all went to the Sticky Wicket and gorged ourselves on appetizers and beer...it was a sight to behold.
EVENT #10: Sober Red Jacket Night
Since it was our last opportunity to go to a club and Natalia nor Jess had seen Red Jacket, Gavin and I took them there! It was definitely a night of "How did we get here and why", but it was fun/funny being sober.
I think Natalia cheated a bit though and took some E beforehand...
We hadn't heard a word out of Natalia for a while, so we look over and see this:
It was because her lover Christian Bale was on the screen because they were playing "Batman Begins"...wtf? Playing Batman at a club to dance music? Ok...
HOT, TANNED BITCHES.
We hit up the dancefloor, to find Miss Drunken-Blue-Sweatshirt and Mr Tool Brownman...
Yeah...we haven't gone back to Red Jacket since...it sucks now.
EVENT #11: Final Gathering of the Summer for Lunch at Milestone's
To end our incredibly fun summer, Gavin and I decided to meet up with Natalia, Priya and Jess for lunch at Milestone's!
And I know it's a chick drink, but the Bellinis were amazing.
Sauce and Cheese
Poland and Ape, lookin 12 and innocent
Guess who this resembles?
KOOKAI!
And that, my dear friends, was Summer 2006! An amazing, fun-filled time where everybody looked hot due to intense tans and big sunglasses...and now it's winter, where everybody looks pasty and worn-out...so look forward to those pictures because they are MUCH more entertaining!
Goodnight to all and HAPPY NEW YEAR!