(no subject)
I wrote this fic two years ago, but I just re-edited it and as I never posted it here and some of you won't know it, I might as well inflict it on you.
Rain
Judith,
there is something I want you to know. I never told you this, although I know I probably should have at some point. There were times for it, times for talking, but I never got round to. Thank you for listening now, I know you will, and I really do appreciate it. It's only, well, I feel so insecure about this and it would be easier if I were standing here with you, face to face, but as I can't, I'll do it this way.
I still remember the first time I saw you. It was after the holidays in school, and you were standing outside my French class and I didn't know who you were. Oh, sure, I had been told about you, but I had forgotten what they had said. I remember your smile. It would light up your whole face, and whenever you smiled at me, my heart jumped and I felt so good. I never got many smiles from you.
I remember so many little things, like the time when you wore that grey coat. You looked so good in it and I'd have told you so if I hadn't been too shy. Do you remember the time we analysed light in our Physics class? We projected a spectrum onto the wall and from where I sat, I could see your hair in shades of blue and purple, every single hair of your plait bright with colour. That was around the time when we finally began to talk, when I got to know you better and liked you even more.
At that time, I didn't love you any more like I did before, though. Back when I first met you, I fell in love with you. Maybe you guessed, I don't think it was hard to notice. I never told you I loved you, because I think you didn't care about me. You didn't even know me.
Come to think about it, I didn't even know you.
By the time I was more confident and we knew each other better, I was in love with someone else. You don't know her, and anyway, it doesn't matter as it never worked out either. You had your boyfriend then, too. Well, your ex-boyfriend, now, but you were a couple for so long that it is hard for me to think of you in a different way. Even with all that, there still was something in me that loved you and I never stopped daydreaming of you and me, together in love. I dreamt of kissing you, running my fingers through your hair, tasting you, of seeing your smile and knowing it was for me only.
I met your boyfriend last week. He told me, and I couldn't believe it. I still can't.
It is raining now. Not hard, just a slight drizzle, but the streets are empty and the world is quiet. I feel strange, looking up to the sky, grey and dull as it is and standing here, getting soaked. I feel strange, taking deep breaths so that I don't start crying, talking to a gravestone. But I know you can hear me and that you listen.
And I just wanted you to know that I loved you, and that I still do.
I miss you.
Rain
Judith,
there is something I want you to know. I never told you this, although I know I probably should have at some point. There were times for it, times for talking, but I never got round to. Thank you for listening now, I know you will, and I really do appreciate it. It's only, well, I feel so insecure about this and it would be easier if I were standing here with you, face to face, but as I can't, I'll do it this way.
I still remember the first time I saw you. It was after the holidays in school, and you were standing outside my French class and I didn't know who you were. Oh, sure, I had been told about you, but I had forgotten what they had said. I remember your smile. It would light up your whole face, and whenever you smiled at me, my heart jumped and I felt so good. I never got many smiles from you.
I remember so many little things, like the time when you wore that grey coat. You looked so good in it and I'd have told you so if I hadn't been too shy. Do you remember the time we analysed light in our Physics class? We projected a spectrum onto the wall and from where I sat, I could see your hair in shades of blue and purple, every single hair of your plait bright with colour. That was around the time when we finally began to talk, when I got to know you better and liked you even more.
At that time, I didn't love you any more like I did before, though. Back when I first met you, I fell in love with you. Maybe you guessed, I don't think it was hard to notice. I never told you I loved you, because I think you didn't care about me. You didn't even know me.
Come to think about it, I didn't even know you.
By the time I was more confident and we knew each other better, I was in love with someone else. You don't know her, and anyway, it doesn't matter as it never worked out either. You had your boyfriend then, too. Well, your ex-boyfriend, now, but you were a couple for so long that it is hard for me to think of you in a different way. Even with all that, there still was something in me that loved you and I never stopped daydreaming of you and me, together in love. I dreamt of kissing you, running my fingers through your hair, tasting you, of seeing your smile and knowing it was for me only.
I met your boyfriend last week. He told me, and I couldn't believe it. I still can't.
It is raining now. Not hard, just a slight drizzle, but the streets are empty and the world is quiet. I feel strange, looking up to the sky, grey and dull as it is and standing here, getting soaked. I feel strange, taking deep breaths so that I don't start crying, talking to a gravestone. But I know you can hear me and that you listen.
And I just wanted you to know that I loved you, and that I still do.
I miss you.