im fried
that final sucked. ok so its open fucking note test, what do i do? i dont have my fucking notebook. everything else. all shit that i dont need dont matter. so i winged and hope to God i get a great grade cause other wise, this semester was a waste. im sorry to say, but as i always do i fuckd up. there you happy now. cause im not, so somebody out there is having a fucking orgasm right now. yes thats right im fucking miserable, i hate myself, i hate alot of you, i cant stand anything going on right now. im beginning to not have any hope in people at all. its just bad. dont know whats going to happpen this week with school ending, court tommorow that im shitting my pants for, and alot of other shit going on i dont even want to get into cause i really will be depressed before i finish writing, im trying to be happy. its like i have come to hit a brick fucking wall that shook my whole world(not like this shit hasnt happenend before but thats right, nobody cares so why the hell should i) its a comfort soon in a sick twiste way for me. hey when the whole world isnt against me, is not fair odds at all, for the world. i love opposition, i love conflict, i love problems, i hate drama but this sick, dam near deadly (or so i think) crazy shit that most of you i know would have folded and given up, i just fight harder. i dont know much about myself anymore except what is my basic survial needs. i mean life gotta stay simple right now, i got time on my head, have to move out soon, have said fuck a lot of who i thought were my freidns, thats a whole nother issue im not even gonna get into right now, its just not worth it anymore. listen this is what the deal is, people can put up fronts, and live lie's, well i take the cake on that one like whoa. its sad that all i am living for right now is fucking BONNAROO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT, I AM HOPING AND PRAYING THIS COURT SHIT DOES NOT FUCK ME, I WILL DIE IF I MISS THIS FUCKING CONCERT. but one col thing that happend this week is i talked to who used to be, possible might still be my best friend arb(its sad i have to question that, sides were choose not by me) but in our little chat last night holmes said he is coming with me to this little shindid in manchester, tennesse. that would be fucking so awesome, and would make the greatest trip of a life, the absolute escapade of the century for me. people dont really know about this festival they call bonnaroo but let me tell you i wouldnt miss this if i was fucking 50 cent or anybody else for that matter. i have put all my hopes and dreams into two things for now, lteraly what is keeping me going and getting out of bed everyday, this festival with or without arb, and moving into this sick ass retarded balla house, me and two of my buddies are about to rent. OMG so fucking awesome of a crib and alls we fucking needs is 2400$ down and were in thats it, done deal, joe will be in his own house. how do you like me now? and if for some reason shit dont go the way it should go ( as fucking always) it aint no thing and i just work on that myself at a later unannounced date. but listen i dont even want to talk no more, its pointless, words fall to the ground. and plus im already to tired, stressed and getting to the brink of actualy being sad because life sucks, and i guess im leading that one hands down. but for now until what i really wanna say in this bitch thats gonna turn heads im just gonna be out, fuck it.