forget the formalities

[italyrocks]

well i have had probably one of the most intense weekends of my life with a seriously bad ass time. this past week eh, whatever another week until it got to my days off which on wed, and thursday was an awesome day. got to actually go and chill with my good friend ray, and tony which both i havent seen in god knows how long. plus i got to see tony's little one who is a monster now. probably the most awesome litle guy in the whole world. everytime i see that kid its so amazing. i have been there from before that kid was even born, and now almost 2 years later wow, possibly one of the smartest not even 2 yet toddlers i have ever seen. it was awesome i love tony, i love his kid and its sad i havent seen him in a while cause all of you have no idea how its been with me and tony for the past i dunno ever. i met holmes my freshman year and we were friends fro day one and are still good freinds now. he seen me at my worst, i have seen him what could of been the same. but just one wild ride and just so many memories. you know how when you go out and do something or see someone it takes you back, everytime. tony is one of the people i love and respect more than most in this life. he is a real mans man. and i am priviledged and blessed to have people, like tony, ray, who are boys beyond boys, and in a heartbeat, one phone call, on the drop of a dime, got my back 100%. at least there's still some of you i call friends, feel lucky. cause you are. thats not being cocky either, cause in all honsty, half of these people that iknow, really have no idea of there standing with me, nor do they realy give a fuck either. but im am hapy to know that as long as i got me and a few good people on my side, i will be just fine. its really these people that have my respect to the fullest and that have looked past me and who i am without ignorant eyes. these people are the ones who should and i hope know that they have more than a friend in me. time and time again, they have prvoed themselves and likewise. its so sad the shallow lifes of empty promises and broken dreams that some of you that i care about still lead. it kills me inside to see you just watse the great person that is you on associating with people who wont even remeber you in two years. but who stands in the test of time, who hasnt turned his back and walked out the what seemed to be easy way. who lied to you? who cheated you? who broke your heart? who stole your life? not me, but who is always there when you need a crying shoulder? who's the only one you know that in a heartbeat would do time to defend and protect you? who's the one you know will be there no matter what? honestly, who in your life right now would die to see you happy and never to ever again shed a tear for nothing and nobody's? tough questions but i aks all of you. re-evalute your shit. takes two seconds just to stop and think and realize theres so much more than what you got. settle, comprimise, what, your personal happiness, and degrade yourself to the level of people who are as deep as a kiddie pool on the inside. not me, that aint my thing, and i just cant sit idly by and watch what deem important people to me be used and abused time and time again. well thats life and even though my heart gets broke when time after time its just the same response from such awesome special people getting walked all over and not even seing a thing wrong with getting there integrity shattered to bits for what they sem to nt really even think or care about. call me old fashion but i have to much self respect and pride in who i am and what i stand for to let myself give in to what i know would not be anything but an empty actions, an shallow words.

i dont even want to start. but anyways i must shout out to my girl nikki thank you for a great time up in R.I. i had a really awwesome time and i just wish i could of been there alot more. hope it wasnt any trouble to you or your roomates or any inconvience at all, but that was a night i defintely needed more than you would know. your awesome as you know and i love you to death. thank you so much for one of the best nights of my life and for just being the incredible, smart, wonderful, one in a billion woman that you are and somebody i am priviledged, honered, and blessed to have in life. two weeks couldnt come faster, cant wait to see you back. always know your on my mind alot and only the best wishes for you when you come home.

wel that was on friday night when we wnet up to nikki's school which was a overall awesome, kick ass really fun fucking night, but what happens in R.I for the most part at least, stays up in that bitch. well luckily enough for me i get to go and drop another class i showed up for today that i wont pass thatnks to outside elements and me being a big asshole, but thats fucking life. people have a blessed week, do something new adventure out a little bit, experience something incredible, i dunno just live life and live to the fullest(my personal new inspiration) to short of time, to much that could be seen, done, and lived.