seriously, what the fuck!!!!!!!!
so this is not gonna be nice, but who the fuck cares. i certainly dont give a shit about what you think. yeah isnt that nice? actually it is, for me. anyways lets get this ball rolling, i dont want to talk about my week or the fun cool crazy shit i do. i have fucking had it oh my God. i have tried time and time again. i have just did everything i was doing all along. but what happens. right in fucking front of me. man to thnik that all this time im sitting thinking its all gravy and nothing is worng even though nothing is right at the same time. its funny how you can just overlook something and have shit thats real go right by your head and totally miss shit. but ok enough of the games i get it. and if you wanted it this way alls you had to do over a year ago was to choose then. but you couldnt be honest. oh no well thought it would be the same, nothings gonna change, its not personal, im not choosing sides. well i have heard it all, and i have seen it all, and i haved been through enough. but this aint bitching this is what the ancient greeks would call tradgedy. drama, the horrors of life usually coming from ignornace of men eventually leading them to not only some seriously bad shit to deal with. and all because somehow, these great men of power and respect, loved by many, leaders, warriors, even the common man who becomes a matry for his gods, they all seem to be so good. everything looks as its going so weel and just the nromal routine. until they get blinded and become victims of the own circumstance and watch everything that was the best for them become nothing and lose out on more than what is lost. but the lose there life most times. i will not become a modern figure of greek tradgedy with such horrendous endings as that of Sophicles' Antigone ( if you dont know look it up retard). i will tell you this i will not no longer and stand idly by and watch as whats important to me falls away. i have time and time again watch people turn there backs on me, i have seen the most absolute worst shit tha you could thnik of to happen to you. best friends come and gone, relationships all for nothing, people i call my friends or so think that, all fronts and bullshit. i dont give a fuck if you like me or not, know me or dont. anybody who wants to come, come, anybody wants to tunr around an walk, i dont exist to you. i would hate to see it end that way, i really would. and it would be sad to watch those assholes yet again ruin something i hold near and dear to might heart. of very importance. but how long can one man fight, when is it time to say fuck it and not care. i dont quit, i cant, its the only thing that i know i cannot under no circumstance or situation do. i dont give up and i am not a quitter. if its death or quit, its death. iw ould go to my untimely grave before i would ever break or fold in my beliefs, for the people i hold in such high importance in my life, for anything worthy just cause to me, i would never surrneder or give up, thats the biggest sign of weakness. you cant help those who dont want to be helped, and i wont try to control or change anybody. fuck that shit. im a grown ass man. whether you like it or not, or i like it or not, i am. and as an adult i realized i mkae my own descions and choices. for me, not for anyone else. i willingly have choose to say and/or do everything it is i do. so do you. im not fucking stupid and i know when shit gets funny. especially when it comes to friends. a game i know very well. thus being the reason for the things i say now.
you wont read this more than likely, or ven know it ever was written to you. but shit has changed because thats life. but i dint make you do the things you do. i didnt drag you or anybody into shit. i do have anything actually t all to do with how you been acting. thats whats its been, acting, a big fake, a fucking show, almost to th extent of living a lie, because maybe you convinced yourself we were best freinds, and for a long time. but i see how it is. i know whats going on, i know where your at, and alls i have to say is everyone that chose sides, and after all the " i wont take sides", "i dont get invovled with shit" and "i am not getting in the middle of this". actions do speak louder than words. if you say it you better mean it. its like Gotti said " you only lie when your afraid", well im not afraid, and its not that because i dont care, i do, not even because im mad, cause im not. i am just sick of being lied to from the people it counts. you know what its this simple, i just dont have the time to waste anymore. i wont play the chase. i wont force you into doing anything or try to be a better friend or play any of this bullshit. theres two side to every fence. you cant sit in the midle, but nobody ever said you cant hop that shit. thats how it is cause that what you said, but what maters, me, apparently not. the past of how longs, and memories of all good times and some bad, not at all. or what realy gets me, when your gone, well in my case being in prison my first time its funny how people are so different than the normal life when shit gets seriously bad real quick and you see how much getting caught in the momnt really takes ahold of your emotions. well all good things come to an end i guess from what im told. so walk away, go join them. do exactly what i saw coming but at least i was ready for it. sad though, another wasted six years. damn.
p.s. no names were mentioned cause you dont need to fucking know.
you wont read this more than likely, or ven know it ever was written to you. but shit has changed because thats life. but i dint make you do the things you do. i didnt drag you or anybody into shit. i do have anything actually t all to do with how you been acting. thats whats its been, acting, a big fake, a fucking show, almost to th extent of living a lie, because maybe you convinced yourself we were best freinds, and for a long time. but i see how it is. i know whats going on, i know where your at, and alls i have to say is everyone that chose sides, and after all the " i wont take sides", "i dont get invovled with shit" and "i am not getting in the middle of this". actions do speak louder than words. if you say it you better mean it. its like Gotti said " you only lie when your afraid", well im not afraid, and its not that because i dont care, i do, not even because im mad, cause im not. i am just sick of being lied to from the people it counts. you know what its this simple, i just dont have the time to waste anymore. i wont play the chase. i wont force you into doing anything or try to be a better friend or play any of this bullshit. theres two side to every fence. you cant sit in the midle, but nobody ever said you cant hop that shit. thats how it is cause that what you said, but what maters, me, apparently not. the past of how longs, and memories of all good times and some bad, not at all. or what realy gets me, when your gone, well in my case being in prison my first time its funny how people are so different than the normal life when shit gets seriously bad real quick and you see how much getting caught in the momnt really takes ahold of your emotions. well all good things come to an end i guess from what im told. so walk away, go join them. do exactly what i saw coming but at least i was ready for it. sad though, another wasted six years. damn.
p.s. no names were mentioned cause you dont need to fucking know.