whatever
"make up your mind, and i'll make up mine,
dont worry about me i'll be fine,
those words that you said to me,
why wasn't i listening,
i wish i hadnt met you at all,
i started thinking, i'll sit back
and relax and wait for the morning
we'll wake up. will make up
and do this for the last time
we'lll wake up, we'll make up
and do this for the last time
if we break up we'll wind up
losing both of our minds
so lets wake and make up
and do this for the last time"
a good song by theory of a dead man. wicked sick band and i absolutely love them and especially that song. but thats just how it is sometimes. you play the game so long that it just becomes a matter of just making up your mind. me, i cant do it anymore. i cant play the chase or waste time running after someone. i dont even have enough left in me i think to go through hell one more time. i have done it all. be up so high and have been slammed to rock bottom so hard. i have been in love, i have had somebody love me. when it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, it was hell. the rollercoaster of life is shaky and crazy in its own right, buty hopping on the train of love is either gonna do two things, the smoothest ride ever, or hitting a brick wall at like 150 mph. well i think you know what happend in my case. but i dont want to sit here and "bitch" but what i have ben doing is thinking a little more deeper and a tad bit more seriously. i have been pondering lately as to what going on right now in my life, what i like, what i hate, how can i improve, whats lacking, where i am doing good. life is a big problem for us to analyze and maybe even figure out. i am just in the point right now where ikinda dont know where i belong. its a bit of a confusing point in life. cause the worst is there things and/or people i want to be a part of my life, that i not only deserve because whats real and the truth is what i thought girls looked for these days but i guess its just ignorance and a lack of any sort of morals. i mean screw sincere, uncontional love, and honesty, truth, and a big heart all about you. but anyways i have decided thats im not going to go chase after and waste time on this kinda shit anymore. i mean i can only give so much, i can only feel so strongly, i can only go sa far before i just turn around and go back to square one. you know sometimes you ever thought of a real big choice you made between two things. you ever go and think back what if i choose the other? well i have and i realize im a fucking idiot. i cant believe even to this day i wne the route to waste the better part of two years of my life and to only get nowhere but seriosuly hitting the floor. well lets just say this, if i could go back to when the start of this was. it wouldnt of started and i would of made the right choice, the best choice, and would have never seen th shit i had to deal with. luckily enouhg for me what goes around come around and also history does repeat itself. well for some but it wont for others. anyways my boy frank is here, were going to wake and bake, i gotta go ill finish chatting later
screw 9/27/02
dont worry about me i'll be fine,
those words that you said to me,
why wasn't i listening,
i wish i hadnt met you at all,
i started thinking, i'll sit back
and relax and wait for the morning
we'll wake up. will make up
and do this for the last time
we'lll wake up, we'll make up
and do this for the last time
if we break up we'll wind up
losing both of our minds
so lets wake and make up
and do this for the last time"
a good song by theory of a dead man. wicked sick band and i absolutely love them and especially that song. but thats just how it is sometimes. you play the game so long that it just becomes a matter of just making up your mind. me, i cant do it anymore. i cant play the chase or waste time running after someone. i dont even have enough left in me i think to go through hell one more time. i have done it all. be up so high and have been slammed to rock bottom so hard. i have been in love, i have had somebody love me. when it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, it was hell. the rollercoaster of life is shaky and crazy in its own right, buty hopping on the train of love is either gonna do two things, the smoothest ride ever, or hitting a brick wall at like 150 mph. well i think you know what happend in my case. but i dont want to sit here and "bitch" but what i have ben doing is thinking a little more deeper and a tad bit more seriously. i have been pondering lately as to what going on right now in my life, what i like, what i hate, how can i improve, whats lacking, where i am doing good. life is a big problem for us to analyze and maybe even figure out. i am just in the point right now where ikinda dont know where i belong. its a bit of a confusing point in life. cause the worst is there things and/or people i want to be a part of my life, that i not only deserve because whats real and the truth is what i thought girls looked for these days but i guess its just ignorance and a lack of any sort of morals. i mean screw sincere, uncontional love, and honesty, truth, and a big heart all about you. but anyways i have decided thats im not going to go chase after and waste time on this kinda shit anymore. i mean i can only give so much, i can only feel so strongly, i can only go sa far before i just turn around and go back to square one. you know sometimes you ever thought of a real big choice you made between two things. you ever go and think back what if i choose the other? well i have and i realize im a fucking idiot. i cant believe even to this day i wne the route to waste the better part of two years of my life and to only get nowhere but seriosuly hitting the floor. well lets just say this, if i could go back to when the start of this was. it wouldnt of started and i would of made the right choice, the best choice, and would have never seen th shit i had to deal with. luckily enouhg for me what goes around come around and also history does repeat itself. well for some but it wont for others. anyways my boy frank is here, were going to wake and bake, i gotta go ill finish chatting later
screw 9/27/02