A Letter to Post-Break Up Jenni
Dear Post-Break Up You:
You're sad. You've been sad for a few days now, and it's understandable. When the relationship first started, you believed that you had found "THE ONE." You thought you were going to settle in with him, share the rest of the ride with him, the test of time with him. You believed. You gave your heart, your time and your physical self to him, three of the most important aspects that one can give to another. You are sad today, because that's not the way it turned out.
But it's okay.
When doubts begin to creep in, you had to at least give credence to them. You had to pay attention. Because while you're looking for a partner, the truth is, you've only got YOU to live with. And if you're not being true to yourself, well...what else is there? When forever started to feel like too much to promise, you were honest about your change of heart. And when RIGHT NOW started to feel impossible, you did what you needed to do to preserve YOU. And that was the right thing to do.
It's okay.
It's okay to feel foggy. It's all right that you're feeling down and out and if that lasts for a while, it's understandable. You just traveled a year of your life's journey together. It would be stranger, by far, if you were feeling nothing today. It may take some time to feel at rest with this final decision but in time, you will come to a place of rest and peace. The nagging doubts were there for a reason. It would have been easier to just settle in for a bumpier, less desirable existence with him because of the other things that you know to be true. You're getting older. You want to be with a partner, not alone. You enjoy working as a team. Sharing your life makes sense. But when there's such imbalance to it and you feel like you're pulling your own weight and his, too, that became just too much. It was time to shore up with some honesty. Better to live in truth than to live a lie. You weren't feeling right and it had been there for months. It wasn't an equal partnership. You were more of a mother to him than a partner. It stopped making sense. Parting ways makes more sense.
Although you've gotten into relational habits with this man, like texting him and emailing him pretty much all day long, that's got to cease now. Now. You've got to cut the tie. Because life has also taught you that to hang on and to continue "paying rent" to someone with whom you've decided to end things doesn't leave room for a miracle. It doesn't leave room for someone new. It certainly doesn't leave room for readjustment and for peace to come and rule over your heart and life. He was good for you for a season. And you were good for him. But it's time to move on now. You can't be afraid to pick up and move forward.
That's what I've got for post-break up Jenni today. It's okay. You're going to be okay.
***
My house in Columbiana already has been booked 4 or 5 times for showings. I have the feeling that by the end of the week, I'm going to have an offer on it. I'm already working on disposing of things, selling items that won't be coming with me. I've determined that I'll donate things that I can't sell. I'm going to hire people to come in to clean and people to come in to patch and paint the walls. I'll get the repairs made and I'll recommence with life on Arlington Drive. If I don't feel like I want to be there, in the spring, I'll pack back up and move again.
I'm going to get things figured out. Today just feels...foggy. Off. Sad. But not every day will be this way. All will be well with my soul.
Until we meet again...
You're sad. You've been sad for a few days now, and it's understandable. When the relationship first started, you believed that you had found "THE ONE." You thought you were going to settle in with him, share the rest of the ride with him, the test of time with him. You believed. You gave your heart, your time and your physical self to him, three of the most important aspects that one can give to another. You are sad today, because that's not the way it turned out.
But it's okay.
When doubts begin to creep in, you had to at least give credence to them. You had to pay attention. Because while you're looking for a partner, the truth is, you've only got YOU to live with. And if you're not being true to yourself, well...what else is there? When forever started to feel like too much to promise, you were honest about your change of heart. And when RIGHT NOW started to feel impossible, you did what you needed to do to preserve YOU. And that was the right thing to do.
It's okay.
It's okay to feel foggy. It's all right that you're feeling down and out and if that lasts for a while, it's understandable. You just traveled a year of your life's journey together. It would be stranger, by far, if you were feeling nothing today. It may take some time to feel at rest with this final decision but in time, you will come to a place of rest and peace. The nagging doubts were there for a reason. It would have been easier to just settle in for a bumpier, less desirable existence with him because of the other things that you know to be true. You're getting older. You want to be with a partner, not alone. You enjoy working as a team. Sharing your life makes sense. But when there's such imbalance to it and you feel like you're pulling your own weight and his, too, that became just too much. It was time to shore up with some honesty. Better to live in truth than to live a lie. You weren't feeling right and it had been there for months. It wasn't an equal partnership. You were more of a mother to him than a partner. It stopped making sense. Parting ways makes more sense.
Although you've gotten into relational habits with this man, like texting him and emailing him pretty much all day long, that's got to cease now. Now. You've got to cut the tie. Because life has also taught you that to hang on and to continue "paying rent" to someone with whom you've decided to end things doesn't leave room for a miracle. It doesn't leave room for someone new. It certainly doesn't leave room for readjustment and for peace to come and rule over your heart and life. He was good for you for a season. And you were good for him. But it's time to move on now. You can't be afraid to pick up and move forward.
That's what I've got for post-break up Jenni today. It's okay. You're going to be okay.
***
My house in Columbiana already has been booked 4 or 5 times for showings. I have the feeling that by the end of the week, I'm going to have an offer on it. I'm already working on disposing of things, selling items that won't be coming with me. I've determined that I'll donate things that I can't sell. I'm going to hire people to come in to clean and people to come in to patch and paint the walls. I'll get the repairs made and I'll recommence with life on Arlington Drive. If I don't feel like I want to be there, in the spring, I'll pack back up and move again.
I'm going to get things figured out. Today just feels...foggy. Off. Sad. But not every day will be this way. All will be well with my soul.
Until we meet again...