long time huh?
well, it's a new year, at least according to the Jewish Calender. It feels weird- much more real than the American New Year for some reason (maybe it's because it just kinda seems like another day of parties and not like it's taken seriously).
Good news first. Got into the orcestra at UCLA!! I was offered either first violin or principle second!!! I couldnt even chose. YAY
My body is a catch 22, my knees and my back take turns hurting like hell. When I favor my knees my back shrieks out in pain, and when I favor my back... lets just say my knees are pretty vocal of their jealousy.
Speaking of jealousy I've noticed I have a little of that streak in me and I dont like it. Ended up crying for half an hour about that the other day. It's such a stupid human emotion! I'm angry at myself for such pettiness but cant help it. I wish I could get rid of it. HELP!
My dorm isnt as cool as last year. It needs more stuff on the walls. My side is covered in posters and stuff... but I can always squeeze in more, and my roommate's side is like empty. She seems nice... I dont know how much we have in common though.
So, you dont realize how much people mean to you until they're gone- simple stuff as well. Many of my close friends have all gone back to their respective colleges in their respective states and I miss their presence. They seem so far away. Chats on aim, or occasional phone calls really dont cut it. Oh how I cant wait for winter when they're all back.
This pain medication sucks. It makes me more emotional- mostly grumpy and snappy. I snapped at my brother and best friend the other day. Felt like shit 3 seconds afterwords and realized I hated how angry my back pain was making me. Which is better: genuine grumpiness from pain? Or take the medication but become overly sensitive and grumpy? I can control my anger much better off the meds... but it hurts a lot too.
AHHHHHH
Havnt danced in like 3 weeks either. Combo of knee pain, back pain and high holidays. Boy do I miss it.
Some one tell me I'm not going insane!
Good news first. Got into the orcestra at UCLA!! I was offered either first violin or principle second!!! I couldnt even chose. YAY
My body is a catch 22, my knees and my back take turns hurting like hell. When I favor my knees my back shrieks out in pain, and when I favor my back... lets just say my knees are pretty vocal of their jealousy.
Speaking of jealousy I've noticed I have a little of that streak in me and I dont like it. Ended up crying for half an hour about that the other day. It's such a stupid human emotion! I'm angry at myself for such pettiness but cant help it. I wish I could get rid of it. HELP!
My dorm isnt as cool as last year. It needs more stuff on the walls. My side is covered in posters and stuff... but I can always squeeze in more, and my roommate's side is like empty. She seems nice... I dont know how much we have in common though.
So, you dont realize how much people mean to you until they're gone- simple stuff as well. Many of my close friends have all gone back to their respective colleges in their respective states and I miss their presence. They seem so far away. Chats on aim, or occasional phone calls really dont cut it. Oh how I cant wait for winter when they're all back.
This pain medication sucks. It makes me more emotional- mostly grumpy and snappy. I snapped at my brother and best friend the other day. Felt like shit 3 seconds afterwords and realized I hated how angry my back pain was making me. Which is better: genuine grumpiness from pain? Or take the medication but become overly sensitive and grumpy? I can control my anger much better off the meds... but it hurts a lot too.
AHHHHHH
Havnt danced in like 3 weeks either. Combo of knee pain, back pain and high holidays. Boy do I miss it.
Some one tell me I'm not going insane!