The depressed Allen......................

[isaiditsallen]

I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I don't want to see anyone. I just want to crawl in a hole in the ground and disappear. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I can't believe this happened to me. It was just supposed to be a simile party. Lavi--no, I don't even want to say his name right now. I don't want to think about him, don't want to see

Comments

[mizu_melody]

You know, they say your more honest when your drunk then when your sober. I mean, I know it's probably not what you want to hear or anything. But that's what everyone says.

I'm Demyx, by the way. Nice to meet you.

[isaiditsallen]

[I'm sorry. I really do love this face XD]

Um, no. I've never heard that. So, you're saying that when I'm perfectly honest, I like hugging people, making out with random girls, and pissing off Kanda? *is worried* Well, I do like hugging people. Um, that was actually my second kiss, so I don't think making out with random people is really my thing. And it's not like I try to piss of Kanda. We just kind of...have that effect on each other.

Hello Demyx. *holds out a hand to shake* Nice to meet you. I'm Allen Walker.

[mizu_melody]

[He laughs.] Nah. Well, you do stupid things too. I just meant, y'know, you kinda lose that ability to realize the consequences of what you do. So your not held back by your worries. You kiss people you wouldn't normally kiss. Not because you don't like 'em but because your afraid of how they'll react or what people would think. You don't think like that when your drunk. You just think 'hey, this person's cute. I wanna kiss them.'

[isaiditsallen]

[His hand kind of hangs there for a minute before dropping to his side. Okay, so no shaking hands. Gotcha.]

Okay, that explains the girl. {trying not to go there but he's already there.] Um, please don't tell me that I secretly wanted to kiss Kanda. Is that what you're saying? I mean, Kanda's pretty cool and all, but he's a jerk to me. Besides, he hates me. I mean, he really really hates me. So, no matter how um, cool or you know, *mumbles something incoherent* he looks, I wouldn't kiss him. [Thinking, "Darn, I'm screwed. I guess I really did want to kiss him. But why...?"]

..........I'm wanted to kiss him, didn't I?

[mizu_melody]

[Oops, did Allen want to shake hands? Demyx was more focused on the conversation and didn't notice. Oh well.]

I'd say you did. You shouldn't be too weirded out by it though. I was reading about this study that it's pretty common to be straight and still want to kiss at least one person of the same gender, just to see what it's like. [He only knows because he looked it up back when he first noticed his attraction to a certain blue-haired ice prince. Of course, since then he's realized he's mostly into guys and only kinda into girls but still...]

[isaiditsallen]

Is it really not that strange? *considering* Then why did I call him "pretty"? I mean, that's like a death wish. [He's still weirded out that he wanted to kiss Kanda. But he's willing to put that aside for now. Yea, he can think about that later.]

Have you ever called one of your male friends "pretty"?

[mizu_melody]

Maybe he is pretty? Guys can be pretty. Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing in the world, but ehh... Common sense kinda goes out the window when your drunk.

[He laughs, just a little nervously.] Er... Well, not exactly... I've called one of them 'cute'... [He wasn't drunk at the time though.] Close enough I guess?

[isaiditsallen]

*thinking* Well, Kanda certainly does look... [Trails off; he can't believe he was just thinking that. Kanda was definitely going to kill him.]

Well, obviously that went over better than mine did. You're still alive. *smiles innocently*

[mizu_melody]

Ummm... Probably only because he didn't want to explain to the Super--I uhh... t-to the boss why I was dead. And your still alive too by the way.

[Yeah, nearly called Xemnas 'Superior'. People outside the Organization give him weird looks for that. He's not really Demyx's boss anymore--but calling him Xemnas still feels...]

[isaiditsallen]

[He and Kanda are talking above you, but right now he's talking to to Demyx before he meets up with Kanda.]

Not for long, if Kanda finds me. [He looks at the floor.] Super? Supervisor? [He wouldn't have cared if you called him the Superior. He might have raised an eyebrow but he wouldn't have thought it too weird. Koumi is weird. He's used to weird.] Wait, so you are dead? He killed you for calling him cute? I'm so dead!

[mizu_melody]

What? When did I say that? I'm not dead! [He laughs.] I said he didn't kill me because he didn't want to explain my death. Ehhh... Well, even if that weren't the case, I don't think he'd really kill me... [Maybe. Actualy, Demyx isn't so sure. It's hard to tell what that boy is thinking most of the time.]

And I'm sure your friend wouldn't really kill you either.

[isaiditsallen]

Oh, I misunderstood. My apologies. [He bows slightly. He didn't mean to offend him.]

Obviously you don't know Kanda. He's threatened people just for looking at him. He's mellowed out a bit but he's still willing to let his comrades die if he thinks the cause is worth it. [Allen realizes how he's making him sound and rushes to defend him. He has no idea why he's defending him but he doesn't want to give him the wrong impression.] Ah, but he's not a cruel man. I mean, he has his faults but... Well, he's Kanda. That's just how he is. [It's harder than he thought trying to find the good qualities about Kanda.]

[mizu_melody]

[He shrugs--he's not offended. He figures he just didn't do a very good job explaining.]

[Such a knowing look coming your way now Allen--you sound like him when he realizes he's downtalking the guy he's been talking about. Immeadiatly jumping to his defence afterwards. Demyx finds himself waivering between insulting and defending him. Of course, Demyx actualy realizes why he does it.] Everyone's got their faults. But if he didn't kill you when it first happened he probably won't kill you now.

[isaiditsallen]

[Allen hesitates.] ....Probably. [He admits, not sure if he actually is pleased over this or downheartened.] In some ways, that's worse. [He doesn't mean to speak these words out loud and his cheeks heat up. An embarrassed blush stained his cheeks apple red.] Ah, what I meant was... Um, well, I'm not sure actually. [He's still blushing like mad. Demyx, you might have to steer him in the right direction. Clearly, he's not getting it and he is so confused for it.]

[mizu_melody]

[Your going to end up getting love advice from the guy who can't even seem to get his crush to pay attention to him for five seconds.]

What, your that embarrassed?

[isaiditsallen]

Ah, no, that's... Well, yes, I am embarrased but that wasn't... What I'm trying to say is... [He covers his face, his cheeks redder than a tomato.] I can't believe I'm admitting this. I'd rather he kill me than, you know, ignore me or never talk to me again.

[Awkward silence but he doesn't drop his hand away from his face.] I mean, I'm used to it and all. It's nothing new. But I'd rather, you know, he didn't stop talking to me altogether. Or try to avoid me. Or--or, I don't know... [He sighs in defeat.] I guess I kinda... I don't know. I don't really gets what's going on... [He is so lost, probably in denial too.]