"Total Neutrality"
First off, I am proud that I ran 8.5 miles yesterday. It hurts like hell, but I did it.
I called this entry “Total Neutrality” because there is no such thing. That’s it. I just needed to get that off my chest.
I feel kind of helpless lately. I don’t even know why. I just feel like I have no control over anything that has happened. I feel like I am watching life pass by. I just sit back and say, “Oh, that’s cool.” I think it could be from the way I view things. I have this tendency to look on the darker side of people. I would not call it pessimistic. I am more captious. I see people and get to know them. Then once I have found all the good in them, I start to look for the bad. I eventually find more bad then good. I mean error is in human nature, which is what makes it so unique. I am not saying I don’t have faults either. I mean I can’t find much that is right with me. If I did not say that I would have received some degrading comment. That pisses me off too…
Anyway, as easygoing as I might seem, I am pissed off that I am not out doing something. I did not have school yesterday, yet I did nothing. I am not doing anything until 7:00 tonight, and I bet I am going to spend the duration of my day just being at home. Naturally, being at home, I will do work and stuff. I hate this. I feel so petty. I could bitch and moan about everything little thing that is wrong with my life. I could be the most conceited person in the world. The only thing that stops me from being the most conceited person in the world is my confidence level. I don’t even like the person I would be if I had self-confidence.
Now I end this before I get bitchy
I called this entry “Total Neutrality” because there is no such thing. That’s it. I just needed to get that off my chest.
I feel kind of helpless lately. I don’t even know why. I just feel like I have no control over anything that has happened. I feel like I am watching life pass by. I just sit back and say, “Oh, that’s cool.” I think it could be from the way I view things. I have this tendency to look on the darker side of people. I would not call it pessimistic. I am more captious. I see people and get to know them. Then once I have found all the good in them, I start to look for the bad. I eventually find more bad then good. I mean error is in human nature, which is what makes it so unique. I am not saying I don’t have faults either. I mean I can’t find much that is right with me. If I did not say that I would have received some degrading comment. That pisses me off too…
Anyway, as easygoing as I might seem, I am pissed off that I am not out doing something. I did not have school yesterday, yet I did nothing. I am not doing anything until 7:00 tonight, and I bet I am going to spend the duration of my day just being at home. Naturally, being at home, I will do work and stuff. I hate this. I feel so petty. I could bitch and moan about everything little thing that is wrong with my life. I could be the most conceited person in the world. The only thing that stops me from being the most conceited person in the world is my confidence level. I don’t even like the person I would be if I had self-confidence.
Now I end this before I get bitchy