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irishka1205 May 9 2009, 18:08:10 UTC
am has been in "survival mode". The dude's on auto-pilot, surviving and keeping on keeping on, because he's trying to help Dean heal. Doesn't matter what SAM wants - it's really all about Dean being not broken anymore.

Exactly!

And here is the thing - you know how we've been complaining that we never see how Sam is dealing with any of it? Not in season 2, 3 or 4? Well, I realized something as I re-read this post - the reason we didn't get to see it is because he didn't deal. There was nothing for us to see because Sam did not deal with any of it. Is it any wonder that he turned to drugs...err....demon blood?

So Dean never learned how to get his younger brother to really talk to him, because he was so focused on keeping Sam safe.

Yes. And also I think that Sam when he was younger was the one who'd always talk, as any younger brother, would bug the crap out of Dean until Dean told him if something was bothering him. Remember in Fresh Blood what Sam said? He watched Dean since he was little, Sam knows Dean a lot better because of it than Dean knows Sam. Because he's watched Dean. Dean was too busy trying to take care of Sam and keep him safe to do the same. Besides, Dean was looking up to John, not down to Sammy.

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irishka1205 May 9 2009, 19:06:05 UTC
Yeah, if Dean doesn't deal well with bad things happening, Sam just doesn't deal. When John died, he admitted that he's not ok, but then he focused all his energy on trying to help Dean deal with it. Meanwhile who was watching out for Sam? Sam thing in season 3. He was so focused on saving Dean and trying to get Dean to even want to be saved. This season - well, we already talked about this more than once. *sighs* My heart aches for him, honestly. Just...oh Sammy.

I've said it before, but Dean just couldn't relate to this 'new' Sam. Sam changed over the last summer and Dean still tried to act as if he hadn't. He tried to act like the big brother and expected Sam to fall in line and act like the younger brother.

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irishka1205 May 9 2009, 19:20:00 UTC
Oh, absolutely. Those were exactly his words. And yes, Sam did try to fall back in line and pretend like things could go back to "normal". Because he really wanted it to. But he quickly realized that they couldn't. Because Dean was different, they found about Lilith breaking seals, and most importantly Sam was different. He had to make decisions for himself, live and think for himself, watch his own back, rely only on himself for months - for almost a year if you really take Mystery Spot into account. There was no going back.

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