fic: cracking the code (Project Runway/FOB, 1/1)

[iphignia939]

Remember how I said you could theoretically slash Daniel Vosovic with anyone? HAHAHAHA KILL ME.

This one's for beatpropx, kosher_pareve, and trollprincess. THEY KNOW WHY.

Comments

[kosher_pareve]

OMG YOU ARE INSANE OMGGGGG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DID I MENTION OMG YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY BRAIN.

you. are. a. crazy. person.

and i love you for it.

my glee over this fic can perhaps best be summed up in the following sequence of pictures:

[iphignia939]

See, now I know it's love, because you wouldn't bust out Patrick trying to dance for just anyone.

(Patrick! And his horrible, horrible attempts to pole dance! I'm starting to think it's all an act, though. Like he's secretly a kinky dirty bastard, but he hides it by blinking innocently and balding.)

This is not crazy. This makes sense. Especially when compared with my other fic idea, Pete/Santino. But then I'd write it and kill myself, so no.

[kosher_pareve]

YOU ARE DE-FRIENDED.

clearly, you are batshit insane, and it might be catching. i can't have your ramblings about pete/santino and, you know, probably baby murdering and whatnot clogging up my flist.

i do like your patrick theory, though. Like he's secretly a kinky dirty bastard, but he hides it by blinking innocently and balding. hee.

patrick, dirty old man.

[iphignia939]

You know, people who write Patrick in assless leather chaps are in no position to be DEFRIENDING OTHERS. And which one of us mentioned Michael Kors/Santino, hmn? Oh, that's right, NOT ME.

Also, it's totally the wrong time of year for baby murdering. That's in the summer. Duh.

[kosher_pareve]

...there's no need to bring the past into this. what matters is the here and the now and the horrifying mental image of pete/santino i now have permanently etched onto my brain.

if i weren't such a wonderful person, i'd be getting you back bigtime. by writing santino/tim gunn. xcore bdsm. SONGFIC. yeah, that's right. to "closer" by nin.

so don't press your luck, or i just might bust that shit out.

dammit. you mean to tell me i've been hacking up all these infants out of season? talk about a faux pas.

[iphignia939]

Look, I never said I'd write Pete/Santino. I said I had the *idea*. Whole different thing. Although, you know, you keep threatening me, I'll totally do it. As evidenced by this story, I have no shame.

And it'll be rough alley sex, too. With Pete nuzzling Santino's beard. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

It's not a faux pas; people just never learn these things anymore, dammit. Just store the babies until summer and you'll be fine.

[kosher_pareve]

...ok, i was looking through santinorice.com just now to find a horrible picture of him to post here, and i noticed the posed black&white santino/tim gunn picture. with "i wish i could quit you" written underneath it.

wtf, santino?

also of note at santino's site is the "remix" of santino-as-tim doing closer.

again, wtf, santino?

(and as for you, missy, you and your beard nuzzling, let me just repeat: defriended. how many times do i have to say it? jeez.)

[iphignia939]

I feel that at this point, "WTF, Santino" is just a good question to ask yourself. Like, say, instead of WWJD.

the posed black&white santino/tim gunn picture. with "i wish i could quit you" written underneath it.

Tim/Santino! You're just bringing it on yourself at this point, lady.

[kosher_pareve]

WTFS. i so want that on one of those stupid little plastic bracelets.

and no, santino's bringing it on himself. between quoting brokeback mountain and the whole fanfic thing last episode....yeah, i think wtf, santino? sums it up quite nicely.

[iphignia939]

WTFS! A hundred times cooler than WWJD. Because it has swearing.

Also, fine, I'm sorry I traumatized you, you giant baby. Tell me something to write and I will. Although if it's Patrick with a pierced dick, you're totally getting Pete/Santino alley sex. And it'll be songfic. Around a Justin Timberlake song.

[kosher_pareve]

how about santino with a pierced dick?

...

JUST KIDDING.

he probably already has one, anyway, the creepy bastard.

write...um...oooh, so many wonderful options. because i'm so nice, i'll let you choose:

1. the stripper!pete au.
2. lolita!daniel in nick's design class. (hee. that's a little bit on crack, actually.)
3. an explanation of:

[kosher_pareve]

pee ess: i love you.

[kosher_pareve]

pee pee ess: i'd amuse you if aim weren't sucking donkey balls right now. for future reference, though, aim: parevey.

[iphignia939]

I'm totally going to have to write Santino with a pierced dick now. You know that, right? Just a drabble?

Daniel in Nick's class. I HATE YOU.

I mean, except for the part where I love you.

[kosher_pareve]

next episode, where they have to design outfits for each other? perfect opportunity for santino's dick piercing to be revealed.

not that i'm, you know, in any way encouraging you to write this.

you love me, don't even try to deny it. you love me and you're going to write me slutty!schoolgirl!daniel and hot!teacher!nick!

i'm so excited, you don't even know. anything i can write for you to make your apparently shitty weekend any better?

[iphignia939]

I sort of want Kara to get Santino. Please, God, not Daniel. I don't want Daniel anywhere *near* Santino's groin.

I'm breaking up Andrae and Daniel for you. Damn right I love you.

...Oh my God. I am totally blanking on things you can write for me. WTF, Santino?