once was enough for today.

[inxdreaming]

I've been doing ok. 
I wish i was in rhode island. I miss everyone terribly. But my work schedule is more important than my feelings so ive been working my ass off at north bay hopital. and for what?

A life.

For me and for us. and for my mother so i prove to her im not a total fuck up. Which is actually working despite the fact that i am a total fuck up. now i just fuck up and she never finds out. this is weird for me because she always used to find everything out that i do wrong. and if i was drinking or smoking or doing any kind of drug she could just look at me and know i was not sober. but the past two nights ive been completely fucked and she didnt even notice. maybe i just hold it together better now.

I notice ive been drinking more lately. its something about the summer that just brings out the  alcoholic in me.

I'm kind of in a rut. but im climbing out of it slowly.

I'm so burnt out from trying to keep my life together.

im such a sensative little teen girl. with a bitchy white girl whine.

God, someone  come knock some sense into me.