Friends? What exactly do those do?
I guess it’s time I let you know,
I’m inches, maybe millimeters, almost seconds
From letting go
I’m not well,
I’m not OK,
Not even close,
But even that doesn’t make you stay.
I thought you’d have concern
A heart patter per chance
Understand behind these glass eyes
Is a mind corrupted, dazed, locked in a trance.
I’m not well,
I’m not OK,
Not even close,
But even that doesn’t make you stay.
So I’m left here alone,
In truth, that can’t be healthy,
But no ones here to cradle this heart
Or show myself the good side to me.
So I’ll just sit here,
Loose myself,
I hope your like to see this bleed,
Cuz you never looked back to see me pain,
Not once,
You didn’t even see me for me.
So ellery and megan went to RI to visit adam tonight. They didn’t call me to tell me. I talked to ellery around 5 and she said shed call me back, I didn’t know until about 11 that her and meg went to RI. How can you do that know that the one person missing from the 3 musketeers lives in RI? She said she was crying all day, and fought with her mom. But how does that make you forget that i'm alive. If I heard OSWEGO, I would automatically think Ellery, I would think if she heard, BRISTOL or RHODE ISLAND she might think of me. But she didn’t. I’m so hurt by them. I just feel speechless by this.
They straight up ditched me.
Maybe i’m not fun any more.
I just want to scream at them.. FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLES, YOU’RE MAKING THIS WORSE. And they’ll say making what worse, and I’ll finally tell them, MY FUCKING DEPRESSION THAT IVE BEEN TAKING JACKED UP PILLS FOR THE PAST 3b MONTHES TO AID.
But I think even that would not get through to them. It’s like they have one track and that’s what will get them the most fucked up and they don’t care where or who they are with.
The past few days i've been so close to telling them. But I just don’t know how they will take it. They’ll prob freak out and think i’m gonna commit suicide. And at this point its been racing through my mind. But I know I cant. I just wish I could show them how drastic my head is. How much pain i’m in because I feel as though no one is here for me.
My mom is, and I love her dearly. But I would really enjoy someone that is supposed to be my best friend, to actually BE MY BEST FRIEND. My mom is my mom, a best friend too but first and foremost my mom. I want someone to be first and foremost my best friend. Is that really wrong to ask for?
I want to cut so badly, this writing is what i’m trying to relieve as a means to get around cutting. I just feel like all of a sudden I’ve reverted back to being incredibly depressed. Like all of a sudden all the medicine i’ve been on was just sugar pills. Because my mind isn’t ok and its not healthy and its not better. Its all those feelings just even more bottled up. Just suppressed more and more. So much that I cant even feel like I can get them out like I know how to.
I say it time and time again, but,
I’ve never felt so lonely in my life.
I’m inches, maybe millimeters, almost seconds
From letting go
I’m not well,
I’m not OK,
Not even close,
But even that doesn’t make you stay.
I thought you’d have concern
A heart patter per chance
Understand behind these glass eyes
Is a mind corrupted, dazed, locked in a trance.
I’m not well,
I’m not OK,
Not even close,
But even that doesn’t make you stay.
So I’m left here alone,
In truth, that can’t be healthy,
But no ones here to cradle this heart
Or show myself the good side to me.
So I’ll just sit here,
Loose myself,
I hope your like to see this bleed,
Cuz you never looked back to see me pain,
Not once,
You didn’t even see me for me.
So ellery and megan went to RI to visit adam tonight. They didn’t call me to tell me. I talked to ellery around 5 and she said shed call me back, I didn’t know until about 11 that her and meg went to RI. How can you do that know that the one person missing from the 3 musketeers lives in RI? She said she was crying all day, and fought with her mom. But how does that make you forget that i'm alive. If I heard OSWEGO, I would automatically think Ellery, I would think if she heard, BRISTOL or RHODE ISLAND she might think of me. But she didn’t. I’m so hurt by them. I just feel speechless by this.
They straight up ditched me.
Maybe i’m not fun any more.
I just want to scream at them.. FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLES, YOU’RE MAKING THIS WORSE. And they’ll say making what worse, and I’ll finally tell them, MY FUCKING DEPRESSION THAT IVE BEEN TAKING JACKED UP PILLS FOR THE PAST 3b MONTHES TO AID.
But I think even that would not get through to them. It’s like they have one track and that’s what will get them the most fucked up and they don’t care where or who they are with.
The past few days i've been so close to telling them. But I just don’t know how they will take it. They’ll prob freak out and think i’m gonna commit suicide. And at this point its been racing through my mind. But I know I cant. I just wish I could show them how drastic my head is. How much pain i’m in because I feel as though no one is here for me.
My mom is, and I love her dearly. But I would really enjoy someone that is supposed to be my best friend, to actually BE MY BEST FRIEND. My mom is my mom, a best friend too but first and foremost my mom. I want someone to be first and foremost my best friend. Is that really wrong to ask for?
I want to cut so badly, this writing is what i’m trying to relieve as a means to get around cutting. I just feel like all of a sudden I’ve reverted back to being incredibly depressed. Like all of a sudden all the medicine i’ve been on was just sugar pills. Because my mind isn’t ok and its not healthy and its not better. Its all those feelings just even more bottled up. Just suppressed more and more. So much that I cant even feel like I can get them out like I know how to.
I say it time and time again, but,
I’ve never felt so lonely in my life.