News as of late in the W residence
Well, I guess its been a little while for me since i posted. Ive thought about posting a bunch of times, but i just get busy or change my mind. Tonight, however, it seems appropriate, and hopefully i will be tired enough when im done to get to sleep, since i gotta get up early. I guess Ive figured that those of you that care already know so i wasnt jumping on the opportunity to spread the word, but for those who were concerned and have not asked, I had a trip planned for a long time now to go to Israel, and as of last week it is being postponed until winter break. Though a lot of people are happy that I am not going because of the current circumstances there, and I certainly understand that, I am mostly really disapointed and upset. Between the family that I have not seen in a year, and the places that I love to go and now have to wait even longer to see again, and the much anticipated introduction of my boyfriend to two very important people in my life, this month is not going as planned at all.
I am trying to refrain from going on a rant of self-pity because i know it would just make me cry and no one needs to come on here to read about my problems, but sufficed to say this past year has been the hardest i have ever had, academically, romanticly, socially, emotionally, and particularly with my family. I feel so grateful to have so many people around me that love me, and a boyfriend that has been here to support me through some of the hardest things ive ever had to deal with (and we all know i am not always my easy to love and chipper self) but at the same time, losing two grandparents in a span of only a few months,not to mention that they were the two grandparents i actually knew and grew up with, is a bit hard to deal with. And it just feels like im trying so hard to come to terms with one, and the other dies, then i work on dealing with that, and then im not going to israel, and ive barely processed that and my brother gets called for reserve duty. We are fortunate that he is not on the border and as far as i know, his area is currently not under attack, but we can only hope it stays that way. For those of you that I have talked to about this whole thing, and those that I havent, I hope you understand in reading all this (assuming that you are reading all this) that my reluctance to talk about it comes from it being really upsetting, not from any issue in relationship i have with you, so dont feel left out if i havent told you, or if you ask me whats wrong and i say 'nothing', or 'the usual'.
I am currently finding solice, and even joyful anticipation, at the fact that Austin and I are spending two weeks in oregon with his family instead. I really enjoyed the last time we went there, and his family is all so wonderful to me, it makes it a good place to try and retreat to. I hope that my disapointment at where im not will not keep me from enjoying where i am, and that i can continue in my blissful denial and neglect of the problem instead of sulking in it. I already did that for about two weeks and i think its safe to say that him and i are both ready to enjoy whats left of the summer the best we can. And yes i know youre all well aware of how much time we spend together, but i think this last trip will be in the hopes of making up for time lost as we both return back to school... a thought that i dare not approach seeing as how my head and my heart are already quite full of things to be dissapointed with. But as always, forever the optimist, I will find an upside! Though I shouldve been on a plane for far far away tomorrow, I will instead be going with my mother to Howell as we sign the papers for the new trailer she just bought on a beautiful hill overlooking a foresty marsh thing. And then i think we're spending the bulk of the next few days there.
I am bringing my digital camera, by the way i bought one of those, i really like it, and will take pictures, and hopefully post them...on facebook? or some such thing. Its funny, i know i keep going back and forth from good to bad, but thats how my head feels, too, like so sad and so happy at the same time. All i can do is wait and enjoy the days for what they are, and hope that my family is taken care of. Thats all that really comes to mind to post for now, but im sure ill post again soon with pics or news of what have you. Hopefully you all are doing well with your summers, I know mine has been quite filled with wonderful places, fabulous weekends, a magnificent man who loves making me happy (which he does quite well), and many fun times with friends. Hugs to all, until i return. Bye for now.
I am trying to refrain from going on a rant of self-pity because i know it would just make me cry and no one needs to come on here to read about my problems, but sufficed to say this past year has been the hardest i have ever had, academically, romanticly, socially, emotionally, and particularly with my family. I feel so grateful to have so many people around me that love me, and a boyfriend that has been here to support me through some of the hardest things ive ever had to deal with (and we all know i am not always my easy to love and chipper self) but at the same time, losing two grandparents in a span of only a few months,not to mention that they were the two grandparents i actually knew and grew up with, is a bit hard to deal with. And it just feels like im trying so hard to come to terms with one, and the other dies, then i work on dealing with that, and then im not going to israel, and ive barely processed that and my brother gets called for reserve duty. We are fortunate that he is not on the border and as far as i know, his area is currently not under attack, but we can only hope it stays that way. For those of you that I have talked to about this whole thing, and those that I havent, I hope you understand in reading all this (assuming that you are reading all this) that my reluctance to talk about it comes from it being really upsetting, not from any issue in relationship i have with you, so dont feel left out if i havent told you, or if you ask me whats wrong and i say 'nothing', or 'the usual'.
I am currently finding solice, and even joyful anticipation, at the fact that Austin and I are spending two weeks in oregon with his family instead. I really enjoyed the last time we went there, and his family is all so wonderful to me, it makes it a good place to try and retreat to. I hope that my disapointment at where im not will not keep me from enjoying where i am, and that i can continue in my blissful denial and neglect of the problem instead of sulking in it. I already did that for about two weeks and i think its safe to say that him and i are both ready to enjoy whats left of the summer the best we can. And yes i know youre all well aware of how much time we spend together, but i think this last trip will be in the hopes of making up for time lost as we both return back to school... a thought that i dare not approach seeing as how my head and my heart are already quite full of things to be dissapointed with. But as always, forever the optimist, I will find an upside! Though I shouldve been on a plane for far far away tomorrow, I will instead be going with my mother to Howell as we sign the papers for the new trailer she just bought on a beautiful hill overlooking a foresty marsh thing. And then i think we're spending the bulk of the next few days there.
I am bringing my digital camera, by the way i bought one of those, i really like it, and will take pictures, and hopefully post them...on facebook? or some such thing. Its funny, i know i keep going back and forth from good to bad, but thats how my head feels, too, like so sad and so happy at the same time. All i can do is wait and enjoy the days for what they are, and hope that my family is taken care of. Thats all that really comes to mind to post for now, but im sure ill post again soon with pics or news of what have you. Hopefully you all are doing well with your summers, I know mine has been quite filled with wonderful places, fabulous weekends, a magnificent man who loves making me happy (which he does quite well), and many fun times with friends. Hugs to all, until i return. Bye for now.