I dont have anything all that interesting to share....
I guess thats why I havent posted in forever...life is just life. And that my friends inst always a bad thing. Not to much drama, or insanity...except for work. But that is really my own fault, I am not looking hard enough or at all most days for another one. I believe they call that being complacent? Anwyay thing withs the girl are just sort of existing, she hasnt changed her mind and I havent changed mine...so we are each in our own worlds, doing our own things, and keeping in contact more frequently and normally then in the last few months. My birthday was a couple of weekd ago, and it was actually nice! Its a rare occaision that I dont hate my birthday, and I didnt cry once(huge thing lol)!
I am supposed to be helping with a bridal shower for a friend of mine...can I just tell you I have no idea who someone I love and adore as much as my friend Mare can be best friend with such a stuck up, up tight needs to get fucked hard core pain in the ass like her friend V
Seriously fucking kill me now, she has made all the decisions and is just doling out assingments like no one else has a life or everyone has the kind of money she has.Im sorry but I didnt marry a sugar daddy and spend 70g's on a wedding, this is going to have to be on a budget girlfriend!
Im so frustrated with that whole thing these days I just want to slap her...really really hard in her pretty little face ;)
Beyond that I really need to get a life and by that I mean I need to go out and find some random person and get some, lol....Im just fuckin around, thats not me Im not really a one night stand kinda kinda girl...but hell everyone could use a little excitment right?
I am a little burdened these days, my brain is in overload I cant stop thinking....all the time. I know I need to come out so to speak to my mother....I dont even know if coming out is what it would be called. I guess Im confused about how to even approach it with her since Im not so clear on it all myself. The thing is I identify as bi-sexual....and I know that no matter what my mom will eventually be okay with it all. But she is a hard one at times, she asks all kinds of questions, and I know that the biggest issue will be why I have waited so long ,once she gets over herself. Im sort of kicking myself in the ass for not talking to her sooner. So I just feel like its going to be more complicated then it needed to be but made it worse, by keeping the last two years of my life underwraps and away from her. Yea okay so see the last paragraph is a jumble of shit, can imagine me trying to talk about this with her. The other thing I am not one to hide things at all from anyone but her esp. even things I havent been the most proud of I have always been honest about from the get go. I guess when I was trying to come to terms with the fact that this is who I am I was having a hard time with, so I didnt know what the hell she would do with it. The other thing is I have no idea how I made it through the last 8 months with her, she is my buddy and friend and all around person...and its been alot of work to hide whats going on in my mind, heart and soul from her. I dont want to anymore, I want to come home and be like I had a shitty Apes pissed me off, or I miss her or she called today and sang me happy birthday and even though it shoudlnt have it made my day and I hate that I still have so much love for someone who isnt willing to put in the effort to be with me blah blah blah blah blah!!!!! I dont know, god I wish she was still a drunk it would have been easier to have this convo while she was in the bag, haha Im just playing. Christ thats all I would need...no thank you.
So my rant is over I guess Ill figure it out, Im just really unsure...and Im not used to being in that position. I almost never am at a loss for where I stand on things even when others disagree with where Im at!
HELP ME
Oh p.s. btw I am going to see Bon Jovi and Daughtry! Nov 7th....Im all about the Jersey pride and the the omg dripping sexiness of Mr. Daughtry!!!!!!
I am supposed to be helping with a bridal shower for a friend of mine...can I just tell you I have no idea who someone I love and adore as much as my friend Mare can be best friend with such a stuck up, up tight needs to get fucked hard core pain in the ass like her friend V
Seriously fucking kill me now, she has made all the decisions and is just doling out assingments like no one else has a life or everyone has the kind of money she has.Im sorry but I didnt marry a sugar daddy and spend 70g's on a wedding, this is going to have to be on a budget girlfriend!
Im so frustrated with that whole thing these days I just want to slap her...really really hard in her pretty little face ;)
Beyond that I really need to get a life and by that I mean I need to go out and find some random person and get some, lol....Im just fuckin around, thats not me Im not really a one night stand kinda kinda girl...but hell everyone could use a little excitment right?
I am a little burdened these days, my brain is in overload I cant stop thinking....all the time. I know I need to come out so to speak to my mother....I dont even know if coming out is what it would be called. I guess Im confused about how to even approach it with her since Im not so clear on it all myself. The thing is I identify as bi-sexual....and I know that no matter what my mom will eventually be okay with it all. But she is a hard one at times, she asks all kinds of questions, and I know that the biggest issue will be why I have waited so long ,once she gets over herself. Im sort of kicking myself in the ass for not talking to her sooner. So I just feel like its going to be more complicated then it needed to be but made it worse, by keeping the last two years of my life underwraps and away from her. Yea okay so see the last paragraph is a jumble of shit, can imagine me trying to talk about this with her. The other thing I am not one to hide things at all from anyone but her esp. even things I havent been the most proud of I have always been honest about from the get go. I guess when I was trying to come to terms with the fact that this is who I am I was having a hard time with, so I didnt know what the hell she would do with it. The other thing is I have no idea how I made it through the last 8 months with her, she is my buddy and friend and all around person...and its been alot of work to hide whats going on in my mind, heart and soul from her. I dont want to anymore, I want to come home and be like I had a shitty Apes pissed me off, or I miss her or she called today and sang me happy birthday and even though it shoudlnt have it made my day and I hate that I still have so much love for someone who isnt willing to put in the effort to be with me blah blah blah blah blah!!!!! I dont know, god I wish she was still a drunk it would have been easier to have this convo while she was in the bag, haha Im just playing. Christ thats all I would need...no thank you.
So my rant is over I guess Ill figure it out, Im just really unsure...and Im not used to being in that position. I almost never am at a loss for where I stand on things even when others disagree with where Im at!
HELP ME
Oh p.s. btw I am going to see Bon Jovi and Daughtry! Nov 7th....Im all about the Jersey pride and the the omg dripping sexiness of Mr. Daughtry!!!!!!