but the sea is wide, and I can't swim over - neither have I the wings to fly
my bones are aching to be back in a big city. I'm not sure when it started, but I've only woken up to that realization recently. still, I just feel sure of it, and I suddenly need to be up and moving, seeing and exploring and experiencing new worlds. I miss all the good parts of London, and all the newness, the freshness, of Athens and Berlin and Paris and Edinburgh.
New York it is quickly becoming one of the only things I can think about. I'm applying for a few different positions with publishers there, and I want one of these jobs so badly that it physically hurts.
maybe I'm being a stupid, idealistic kid. but all I know is that I'm starting to visualize, so clearly, myself as I get a feel for the streets and subways; learn my way around the libraries, the museums; pitch a manuscript to the team; find a swing club and laugh through a lesson. and that feels right, right now. it just feels overwhelming, too, because there's so much that's new, and I do have to break from a lot that's familiar.
I've got to say that my internship supervisor and the editor-in-chief at Bancroft, Bruce, is one of the most wonderful people ever. after I told him about the jobs I'm looking at and asked for a recommendation letter, he promised that he'd do whatever he could to help. he then proceeded to mull it over for two days and he insisted that my only task at work today (despite the 1o,ooo+ manuscript slush pile and numerous manuscripts in progress) was to find contacts and work on getting those jobs. then, he spent lunchtime talking me through my job options and listing the contacts I should try to make. he was really quite insightful about who I am, too; he pointed out that I seem extremely sure that this is what I want to do, and that I come across as very confident, but occasionally my insecurity flickers to the surface and I stop too early, worried about treading on someone's toes. it's an awful lot to think about and, at the same time, it really astonishes me to find that someone's so personally invested in my success, though he has no obligation to be.
I'm not sure how I managed to get this lucky in my internship. Bruce has been better than a mentor to me, and I owe him an incredible debt of gratitude. in the future, wherever that takes me, I very much intend to keep an eye out for opportunities to repay him and the press... I don't know how, but some way.
which, again, makes me sound like quite the idealistic kid. but that's not actually something that I want to lose.
New York it is quickly becoming one of the only things I can think about. I'm applying for a few different positions with publishers there, and I want one of these jobs so badly that it physically hurts.
maybe I'm being a stupid, idealistic kid. but all I know is that I'm starting to visualize, so clearly, myself as I get a feel for the streets and subways; learn my way around the libraries, the museums; pitch a manuscript to the team; find a swing club and laugh through a lesson. and that feels right, right now. it just feels overwhelming, too, because there's so much that's new, and I do have to break from a lot that's familiar.
I've got to say that my internship supervisor and the editor-in-chief at Bancroft, Bruce, is one of the most wonderful people ever. after I told him about the jobs I'm looking at and asked for a recommendation letter, he promised that he'd do whatever he could to help. he then proceeded to mull it over for two days and he insisted that my only task at work today (despite the 1o,ooo+ manuscript slush pile and numerous manuscripts in progress) was to find contacts and work on getting those jobs. then, he spent lunchtime talking me through my job options and listing the contacts I should try to make. he was really quite insightful about who I am, too; he pointed out that I seem extremely sure that this is what I want to do, and that I come across as very confident, but occasionally my insecurity flickers to the surface and I stop too early, worried about treading on someone's toes. it's an awful lot to think about and, at the same time, it really astonishes me to find that someone's so personally invested in my success, though he has no obligation to be.
I'm not sure how I managed to get this lucky in my internship. Bruce has been better than a mentor to me, and I owe him an incredible debt of gratitude. in the future, wherever that takes me, I very much intend to keep an eye out for opportunities to repay him and the press... I don't know how, but some way.
which, again, makes me sound like quite the idealistic kid. but that's not actually something that I want to lose.