the letter
below is the letter i've sent to my parents about the divorce...i think it'll surprise them..i'll let you know when i find out....
July 29, 2005
Dear Mom and Dad,
That is really weird to write actually…I figured I’d just send you the same letter since I need to say the same things to both of you. I’m doing well first of all. Over the last 8 years, I have slowly grown into an adult. Taking responsibility for my actions and suffering the consequences of them have in turn taught me quite a few things. I have many, many more roads and obstacles ahead and I am more prepared now than I ever have been.
I now understand that everything happens for a reason and without turmoil and distress, there would be no learning involved in life. Growing up, I made some really stupid decisions. I look back knowing what not to do now. The biggest and most tragic of all of my escapades was when I attempted to take my own life. As a child, the only hope I saw was death. I saw it as a way out without more pain. I need to tell the both of you that over the last few years of my life, I am finally learning that life is precious and trying to take my life was disrespectful. And for that, I’m truly sorry for subjecting the both of you to that drama.
I cannot explain what brought you two together, mainly because neither of you ever talk about it and probably with good reason. Whatever the reason, I am grateful that during the time you were together, that you created me. I actually feel honored to be your daughter. The thoughts that have surfaced in my mind are intense and profound. Processing them has become a daily activity. Among the thoughts, is my marriage to Justin. Over the last few months, he and I have discussed a divorce. The time is approaching where it will be final. I want you both to understand that my relationship with Justin is actually good, however on the flip side our marriage is equal to hot poker in the eye, it’s just not good.
The divorce is mutual and understood by the both of us. I know that I have been slowly slipping away from who I am and want to be to a person that is being created out of responsibility and stress. My health has been deteriorating and I occasionally need to take a time out even during work. I do not feel healthy or sane in the current situation that I am in anymore. I can only say that he has never hurt me physically; he has never committed adultery; he has never stolen or cheated me out of money; and most importantly he has not destroyed who I am. The divorce will most likely be final by September and I’ll be moving out then as well.
However, I don’t want to hear anything about my stuff. Personally, if I live in a room with a pillow and lamp, I’ll be happy. I can slowly get my things from the apartment as need be considering we have a written understanding between the two of us regarding our animals so my ability to access my stuff is untouched. Since we are ending this on relatively good terms, I would appreciate it if you continued to do the same, as I know you both will anyway.
I love you both very much and I know that you will try to help the best you can when I need it. Until then, know that I’m doing better now than I ever have before. A clean slate, open mind and new outlook on life is the best to start living again. There is no “other person” in my life either. I’ve been getting that question a lot. I have no interest in anyone else beside myself. I need to date myself for a while and get to know me again. I hope you both understand that this letter was not meant to be impersonal and you both know I’d rather tell all of this to your faces. You know where I am and if you want to call feel free. Don’t feel like you have to do anything at all. I just needed to let you know where things stand.
I love you and miss you both. Take care of yourselves and eat healthy…hey you told me that for a long time; so I figured I’d dish it back out to you!! I hope all is well where you are.
Love,
Missey
July 29, 2005
Dear Mom and Dad,
That is really weird to write actually…I figured I’d just send you the same letter since I need to say the same things to both of you. I’m doing well first of all. Over the last 8 years, I have slowly grown into an adult. Taking responsibility for my actions and suffering the consequences of them have in turn taught me quite a few things. I have many, many more roads and obstacles ahead and I am more prepared now than I ever have been.
I now understand that everything happens for a reason and without turmoil and distress, there would be no learning involved in life. Growing up, I made some really stupid decisions. I look back knowing what not to do now. The biggest and most tragic of all of my escapades was when I attempted to take my own life. As a child, the only hope I saw was death. I saw it as a way out without more pain. I need to tell the both of you that over the last few years of my life, I am finally learning that life is precious and trying to take my life was disrespectful. And for that, I’m truly sorry for subjecting the both of you to that drama.
I cannot explain what brought you two together, mainly because neither of you ever talk about it and probably with good reason. Whatever the reason, I am grateful that during the time you were together, that you created me. I actually feel honored to be your daughter. The thoughts that have surfaced in my mind are intense and profound. Processing them has become a daily activity. Among the thoughts, is my marriage to Justin. Over the last few months, he and I have discussed a divorce. The time is approaching where it will be final. I want you both to understand that my relationship with Justin is actually good, however on the flip side our marriage is equal to hot poker in the eye, it’s just not good.
The divorce is mutual and understood by the both of us. I know that I have been slowly slipping away from who I am and want to be to a person that is being created out of responsibility and stress. My health has been deteriorating and I occasionally need to take a time out even during work. I do not feel healthy or sane in the current situation that I am in anymore. I can only say that he has never hurt me physically; he has never committed adultery; he has never stolen or cheated me out of money; and most importantly he has not destroyed who I am. The divorce will most likely be final by September and I’ll be moving out then as well.
However, I don’t want to hear anything about my stuff. Personally, if I live in a room with a pillow and lamp, I’ll be happy. I can slowly get my things from the apartment as need be considering we have a written understanding between the two of us regarding our animals so my ability to access my stuff is untouched. Since we are ending this on relatively good terms, I would appreciate it if you continued to do the same, as I know you both will anyway.
I love you both very much and I know that you will try to help the best you can when I need it. Until then, know that I’m doing better now than I ever have before. A clean slate, open mind and new outlook on life is the best to start living again. There is no “other person” in my life either. I’ve been getting that question a lot. I have no interest in anyone else beside myself. I need to date myself for a while and get to know me again. I hope you both understand that this letter was not meant to be impersonal and you both know I’d rather tell all of this to your faces. You know where I am and if you want to call feel free. Don’t feel like you have to do anything at all. I just needed to let you know where things stand.
I love you and miss you both. Take care of yourselves and eat healthy…hey you told me that for a long time; so I figured I’d dish it back out to you!! I hope all is well where you are.
Love,
Missey