Things I wish my daughter could tell me
Why do you claw randomly at your own face?
When you make that one oh-so-completely-miserable sad face, is it because of gas? Are you cold? Hungry? Sick of hearing about Britney Spears? Angered by the current position of the planets? Frustrated by the rampant misuse of the possessive apostrophe in our culture? WHAT?
If you like that pacifier so much, why can't you keep it in your mouth?
Is this clean diaper I am putting on your body full of biting red ants, or perhaps a miniature shark with powerful jaws?
You love the swaddle, you hate it with the burning fire of a thousand suns. WHICH IS IT, KID?
What is with all the hiccups? You are like a tiny drunk old lady.
Why do you smell so good -- are you made of CHOCOLATE?
When you make that one oh-so-completely-miserable sad face, is it because of gas? Are you cold? Hungry? Sick of hearing about Britney Spears? Angered by the current position of the planets? Frustrated by the rampant misuse of the possessive apostrophe in our culture? WHAT?
If you like that pacifier so much, why can't you keep it in your mouth?
Is this clean diaper I am putting on your body full of biting red ants, or perhaps a miniature shark with powerful jaws?
You love the swaddle, you hate it with the burning fire of a thousand suns. WHICH IS IT, KID?
What is with all the hiccups? You are like a tiny drunk old lady.
Why do you smell so good -- are you made of CHOCOLATE?