an excursion for not
what the fuck
i had my night all planned out, nap after work, simpsons, sopranos, and after that i would go to taco bell for dinner at eat it while watching the days highlights on sportscenter with a smile...
it was all going good until it was time for taco bell
fuck taco bell
i exit my front door and approach my car only to lift the handle and have the fucking alarm blaring through the street...so i quickly reach for my keys and realize i left them in my bedroom, so i bolt for the house only to realize i locked the front door, and i had to open the garage door with the keypad...and you know how that shit takes forever to open up enough so you can slide underneath, jet through the garage, run upstairs grab my keys and unlock the car and turn off the alarm...total time elapsed: 45 seconds...i walk back downstairs and out the door in disgust, and look at the vietnamese family standing outside in their bathrobes at 1040pm and reassure them that everything was all right...
HOLY SHIT 10:40???!?!...TBell closes in like 20 minutes, and i still need to go to the ATM
so i roll on over to charter one drive through ATM, press down the button to roll down my driver's side window, get my card out....press down the button to roll down my driver's side window....press down the...THE SHITS FROZEN FUCKING SHUT...motherfucker, and i have NO cash on me...so i think fast...lets drive around the cicero area for a hot minute and let the shit defrost...it never did...im goin around my panel trying to get all my windows down, but nothing, it was getting closer and closer to 11pm, when the betting window would be closed, when momma put her children to bed...when taco bells deep fryers would close down for the night and that little bastard talking chihuahua would return to its cage until morning...FUUUUUCK
finally, the windows start defrosting, one by one...first the front passenger side, then the rear passenger side, then finally, god save the queen, the front driver's side finally opened for all...and i hightailed my shit into the atm lot, got my twenty fucking dollars and followed up with a hightail into bell...
time is 10:54pm...
first off...what the fuck is with these pre-recorded fucking messages asking me if i want to buy the shit that's on tv...no i dont, i know what i want, i dont want your guadeloupe el ranchero or any of that shit, gimme my number 9 crunchy with a code red and a side of nachos, speedy motherfucking gonzalez...UNDELAY UNDELAY EEEEEPA EEEPA ARRIBA ARRIBA!!!!....then after the message, when someone really talks, its the opposite sex and 20 years older...i bet you that fuck on the pre-recorded message wasn't even working today...sooo fucking stupid, fast food servers...so i give the chick my order, and pull forward...and i have to ask, what the fuck is wrong with the developers of the drive through at taco bell...its like the shit was made for fucking unicycles and those plastic three wheeled bikes kids have...i know i had mine...the fucking knight rider bitch, dont you forget...so i pull forwards pull up onto the curb like im makin a quick beeline to pep boys...put the shit in reverse and pull around...get my order, pay the lady, and drive off...i quickly notice: 1) no straw...2) i had asked for mild sauce, and i got it, 2 of them...and i have 3 tacos...what the fuck, i swear to god, if these taco bell fucks dont get their shit together, its hell, fire and brimstone...so im basically supposed to use 2/3 of a packet on each taco...motherfuckers...i pull in my drive way, open the door, get out, pissed and enraged, and as i get out of my car i hear a loud smack...
apparently my cell phone had decided to make a break for freedom in my driveway, crashing onto the blacktop...this has now severely curtailed my personal use for it, just as id discovered the joys of snake and other techno trivia...
the food sucked anyway
go ahead and laugh, but i hope you rot in hell
i had my night all planned out, nap after work, simpsons, sopranos, and after that i would go to taco bell for dinner at eat it while watching the days highlights on sportscenter with a smile...
it was all going good until it was time for taco bell
fuck taco bell
i exit my front door and approach my car only to lift the handle and have the fucking alarm blaring through the street...so i quickly reach for my keys and realize i left them in my bedroom, so i bolt for the house only to realize i locked the front door, and i had to open the garage door with the keypad...and you know how that shit takes forever to open up enough so you can slide underneath, jet through the garage, run upstairs grab my keys and unlock the car and turn off the alarm...total time elapsed: 45 seconds...i walk back downstairs and out the door in disgust, and look at the vietnamese family standing outside in their bathrobes at 1040pm and reassure them that everything was all right...
HOLY SHIT 10:40???!?!...TBell closes in like 20 minutes, and i still need to go to the ATM
so i roll on over to charter one drive through ATM, press down the button to roll down my driver's side window, get my card out....press down the button to roll down my driver's side window....press down the...THE SHITS FROZEN FUCKING SHUT...motherfucker, and i have NO cash on me...so i think fast...lets drive around the cicero area for a hot minute and let the shit defrost...it never did...im goin around my panel trying to get all my windows down, but nothing, it was getting closer and closer to 11pm, when the betting window would be closed, when momma put her children to bed...when taco bells deep fryers would close down for the night and that little bastard talking chihuahua would return to its cage until morning...FUUUUUCK
finally, the windows start defrosting, one by one...first the front passenger side, then the rear passenger side, then finally, god save the queen, the front driver's side finally opened for all...and i hightailed my shit into the atm lot, got my twenty fucking dollars and followed up with a hightail into bell...
time is 10:54pm...
first off...what the fuck is with these pre-recorded fucking messages asking me if i want to buy the shit that's on tv...no i dont, i know what i want, i dont want your guadeloupe el ranchero or any of that shit, gimme my number 9 crunchy with a code red and a side of nachos, speedy motherfucking gonzalez...UNDELAY UNDELAY EEEEEPA EEEPA ARRIBA ARRIBA!!!!....then after the message, when someone really talks, its the opposite sex and 20 years older...i bet you that fuck on the pre-recorded message wasn't even working today...sooo fucking stupid, fast food servers...so i give the chick my order, and pull forward...and i have to ask, what the fuck is wrong with the developers of the drive through at taco bell...its like the shit was made for fucking unicycles and those plastic three wheeled bikes kids have...i know i had mine...the fucking knight rider bitch, dont you forget...so i pull forwards pull up onto the curb like im makin a quick beeline to pep boys...put the shit in reverse and pull around...get my order, pay the lady, and drive off...i quickly notice: 1) no straw...2) i had asked for mild sauce, and i got it, 2 of them...and i have 3 tacos...what the fuck, i swear to god, if these taco bell fucks dont get their shit together, its hell, fire and brimstone...so im basically supposed to use 2/3 of a packet on each taco...motherfuckers...i pull in my drive way, open the door, get out, pissed and enraged, and as i get out of my car i hear a loud smack...
apparently my cell phone had decided to make a break for freedom in my driveway, crashing onto the blacktop...this has now severely curtailed my personal use for it, just as id discovered the joys of snake and other techno trivia...
the food sucked anyway
go ahead and laugh, but i hope you rot in hell