016 // audio
[Back-dated a few days, while he's still death tolling. Erik sounds tired, but no less pretty. His voice, I mean.]
Curious, how I finally get what I wish for, and it is singularly unpleasant. Then again, most of my life has been, and that is the issue--I would not feel this way had I not been brought back. I am certain that, as with everything else she does, it was "for my own good."
Curious too, how everyone seems to think they know better what that entails than I do.
My world is not yours. Whatever charity you show me, Barge, whatever second chance I see, whatever attempts are made to make me believe it might have been different are misguided. If you wish to save me, pluck me from my childhood home. Pluck me from the world I grew up in, the only one available to me. What use is it now, looking back at five decades I could not change if I wanted to? I survived, and that is more than most miserable wretches in my place did. I survived, and I did so with a modicum of skill and dignity. All very well to flatter Erik and tell him he should have been appreciated--I know.
I tried to make them listen.
All I have learned here was that I did not have the choice afforded others. That environment is all, that there is nothing I might have done without recourse to technology or time travel not available to me. And as such, I regret nothing.
Except, perhaps, being brought back to life. I am bored. Entertain me.
[Feel free to spam, if you want to visit him in the infirmary. Just tell me if you give him warning or else he might not have his mask on and try to kill you. Or just recommend books/movies/music to him.]
Curious, how I finally get what I wish for, and it is singularly unpleasant. Then again, most of my life has been, and that is the issue--I would not feel this way had I not been brought back. I am certain that, as with everything else she does, it was "for my own good."
Curious too, how everyone seems to think they know better what that entails than I do.
My world is not yours. Whatever charity you show me, Barge, whatever second chance I see, whatever attempts are made to make me believe it might have been different are misguided. If you wish to save me, pluck me from my childhood home. Pluck me from the world I grew up in, the only one available to me. What use is it now, looking back at five decades I could not change if I wanted to? I survived, and that is more than most miserable wretches in my place did. I survived, and I did so with a modicum of skill and dignity. All very well to flatter Erik and tell him he should have been appreciated--I know.
I tried to make them listen.
All I have learned here was that I did not have the choice afforded others. That environment is all, that there is nothing I might have done without recourse to technology or time travel not available to me. And as such, I regret nothing.
Except, perhaps, being brought back to life. I am bored. Entertain me.
[Feel free to spam, if you want to visit him in the infirmary. Just tell me if you give him warning or else he might not have his mask on and try to kill you. Or just recommend books/movies/music to him.]